Oh My Love
by vickytmandy
Summary: Alice is a orphan at strawberry fields, she meets a young man by the name of John lennon and falls inlove, but she may be catching the big hazel eyes of someone else...  summary sucks. I know. The story is much better : NOT ATU.
1. Chapter 1

**Anna, Go To Him-Chapter One**

"John! Wait, please!"

Alice chased after John, despite the fact that she knew he'd never stop for her. Something inside of her was begging and hoping that he would turn in his tracks and let her Run into his arms. He didn't.

"Please, John! It's not at all how you think it is!" She yelled after him.

He stopped.

"Oh, no? What is it like then, huh?" John had anger written all over is face, and In his words.

"I find you in MY bedroom shaggin' ME BEST MATE! But it's not what I think it Is?" The last sentence was an almost inaudible whisper, compared to the first, being Yelled at the top of his lungs.

Alice listened to every word he said and now even she was disgusted at herself. It Was all true. John had a good-great- reason to leave her, but she loved him and she couldn't Dare to think of her life without John Lennon in it. She stood silent for a moment with heavy tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I didn't mean to." Alice whispered, then thought of how ridiculous the response Sounded at the moment.

John scoffed and proceeded to walk away, not angry-but hurt. All of a sudden, Alice Couldn't resist, she ran up to John and hugged him from behind. Alice was just as surprised By her action as he was. She was even more surprised by the fact that he just stood there, He didn't push her away or get angry. He just stood there. Before he decided to walk away, He whispered a simple

"I just need time to think...alone."

And then he was gone.

It was late out already and Alice couldn't go back to the orphanage. Doors closed at 10pm, it was 11. She walked over to an empty bench and sobbed silently when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see Paul staring back at her. His big eyes were filled with sorrow and he Struggled for the right words to say, he had been listening from behind the trees the whole Time.

"Paul, I don't-" Alice started to break the silence when Paul interrupted her.

"I am so sorry Alice. I shouldn't have let myself pressure you, I shouldn't have let myself Get too close, I've ruined everything. I know. It's just... I couldn't help myself! You're so Beautiful, and...And I'm in love with you."

His last words came out as a slight whisper.

Then there was silence.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hello! I hope you're enjoying the story so far! Special thanks to Beatlesfan93 and Sevenseasofriley for being my first reviewers (: This is my first story and I just felt like typing it up on here. This chappie is kinda long. To clarify things, this isn't really set in a specific time period..some actual events are scattered around the story but the whole thing takes place before the Beatles were full on famous. If you want a clearer picture on Alice, just picture her as a sorta Grace Slick.(im not so well on details)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize (this goes for the first chapter too)**

**Enjoy!**

(2 MONTHS EARLIER)

John P.O.V

She was beautiful. She was different, and from the beginning, John knew he would love her. Alice was always a looker but there was just something more to her. He loved the way she blushed whenever he was around. He loved the way she would play with the edges of her fringe whenever she was seriously thinking. Perhaps that was one of the things he loved the most about her. She thought about everything in an open minded way. She taught John things about life that he didn't know. She was free as a bird.

John studied Alice like his favorite piece of art. He knew her smile, he knew her crystal grey eyes, and he knew her long dark hair and that perfect nose of hers. John cherished every moment he spent with Alice. John Lennon was in love with her and Alice Michelle loved him too.

Alice P.O.V

John Lennon.

She remembered the first time they met.

_Alice had been watching him perform for a while. Sharing the long occasional glances with him. When the group's performance was over he jumped off stage and walked directly towards her. Leaving his band mates behind._

"_Hello, beautiful and what might I have the pleasure of calling you, if I may"_

_John reached out his hand to hers, and softly kissed it._

"_Well sir. Prince Charming – if I may call you that – my identity is currently under the domain of Alice Michelle" She replied back in a fake posh queen Victoria – like accent._

_They both giggled._

"_As much as I surely deserve the title 'Prince Charming' I am currently occupying that of John Lennon"_

"_John…. I like that name" Alice smiled shyly._

"_It's horrible." He replied in a monotone voice. They stared deeply into each other's eyes, seriously for a moment then began to laugh. _

"_Great band you have there." Alice said in-between giggles, glancing toward the rest of the group._

"_Yeah, well we try y'know." John joked going back to his cool, non – chalant state. Alice smiled and before she could reply , she heard her friend Mary call out to her._

"_Alice! Jake's waiting for us in the car! He has that family dinner thing to go to and im not risking walking home alone, with you this late!"_

"_Kay, Mary one sec! Go onto the car" Alice called back then turned to look at an amused looking john._

"_Well we wouldn't want to hold Jakey up now" He replied with a smirk playing on his lips. A smirk that she herself would come to recognize so well. _

"_Yeah, he can get real difficult when told to wait" They shared one last laugh before John asked to see her again that Sunday at the same place. Alice agreed and quickly, but gently kissed him on the cheek then ran off to meet her friends Mary and Jake in the awaiting car._

There was just something about him that Alice grew to fall in love with. Maybe it was the way he made her feel like she was his little treasure and although Alice couldn't bare the thought of belonging to anyone, she loved belonging to john.

Alice knew of girls that had once also had a history with John and even he, himself told her of how he would cheat on them and use them for only one thing, but he was honest with her. He told her how she was the one person who he could be himself around. And she took pleasure In knowing that she was his little escape from the real world. Alice loved the nights her and John would spend together at the mendips. Mimi didn't mind, after all Mimi loved Alice. On the nights Alice would sleepover, most of the time would be spent in the dark, just talking and creating their own little jokes and stories and sharing memories. Alice loved the afternoons that John would read poetry to her, most of which was written by himself. Plus in all the years of being together, John had not once so much as glanced at another girl.

Right now, John was all Alice had, and she was all he had. Alice was in love with john and john loved her too.

Despite how Alice felt about john, her mind still wandered off to Paul. Now a days she was thinking a lot about him, even having some feelings for him. It wasn't something that Alice could call love but she feared that one day she would let herself get so far. Paul was always sweet to her. She herself didn't even know why she felt the way she did. What was so different about Paul? A lot. But she could never think strait enough o figure out what exactly. She remembered the first time they had met. John had taken Alice to The Casbah club for lunch to introduce her to a few of his friends and when he went off to go get her a drink, a rather handsome man walked up to her.

" _Hello gorgeous, I'm Paul, Paul McCartney" he said with a smile playing on his lips. Alice smirked and John walked up from behind._

"_Aye, cool the charm, macca. __**This **__is Alice"_

' _Oh so this is the beautiful Alice that has been in about every conversation you have initiated these past weeks, huh?" John tried to hide himself blushing from Alice but she caught it._

"_Weeks, huh?" she joked._

" _Ah, macca – " John was abruptly interrupted by a small tugging on his pant leg. He looked to see a small girl with long blonde curls shyly smiling at him. _

"_why hello there, beauty, well how did you get in here?" He said in sweet, confused voice._

" _Gramma didn't wanna babysit so mommy brought me here with her to listen to her favorite group" Alice was stunned by how adorable the little girl was._

"_and what might her favorite group be?" john answered cockily, knowing that it was his._

"_the quarbly men" something like that. Everyone started giggling at the cute little girls answer, but they didn't correct her. The little girl was confused but continued to smile on._

"_My mommy saw you and she said that she was inlove with John Lemon and I wanted to – "_

"_Amelia Marie Josevich! What are you doing wandering off leaving me to worry? And even worse, coming over to strangers and bothering – "_

" _She wasn't bothering " John answered feeling bad for the little girl hiding behind his leg. If the woman yelling at her daughter didn't notice him before, she noticed him now. Her eyes slightly widened and a shy smile crept on to her face._

"_mommy, I just wanted to ask John Lemon if he wanted to dance" Amelia told her mother as if it was the most obvious situation. Alice and paul stood in the background cooing at the adorable 5 year old. Suddenly Alice held on to Johns arm affectionately and whispered something In his ear. He nodded._

" _well, if its all the same to you ma'am id like to have a little dance with Amelia here" he smiled and gestured toward the now beaming child._

_The woman giggled and gestured toward the dance floor. Alice leaned against the bar and watched as John twirled little Amelia. She thought of how cute they both looked and giggled whenever Amelia would look at John and he would make a silly face. Paul was laughing and took a spot next to Alice at the bar. He turned towards her and said_

"_John is quite the lucky man" Alice didn't think much of it. She thought he was joking about Amelia and john dancing. She just smiled her sweet smile and giggled._

_After awhile Paul began to whisper sweet nothings into her ear when John wasn't looking. She knew it was wrong, but at that moment, she liked it._

Since then Alice thought nothing of the memory, she would never cheat on John. She loved him, right?

**A/N: hmmm…quite longer than the previous chapter, huh? I hope you enjoyed this chappie even though it was sorta long. Ill have the next chapter up as soon as I can(: i know its my first story and all but sometimes I run out of ideas for the same topic so I was actually hoping to have someone co-write the rest of the story with me…if you want to help out with it just PM me or something. you know whats great? Reviews! Please and thankyou**


	3. chapter 3

**A/N: Hello(:** **Thanks for the new reviews everyone! If only you could see the smile printed on my face when I see them. You all make my day! **

**Well I had a chapter written up but I decided to change it a little so here it is!.**

**Disclaimer: sadly but truly, I do not own The Beatles, or anything else you may recognize.**

**Chapter – 3 **

"Hello Mimi, is John home?" Alice asked anxiously but sweetly to John's auntie.

"Yes, yes. Good evening Alice, I'll call him down, come in" The woman greeted with an unusually warm smile. As Alice walked into the home that she recognized so well as more than just 'the Mendips' she wondered why there were a few suitcases and a luggage at the bottom of the staircase.

"You know, Alice, that boy has been absolutely bonkers since you've been gone…John! Visitor!" There was a ruffling down the stairs and then a quick abrupt stop at the end.

"You look like an Ana today, Alice." John greeted with a signature smirk. He knew that Ana was one of the more despised nicknames of Alice; he used it as a little joke between them. Alice smirked back and John hugged her tightly and buried his face into her hair.

"I've missed you Johnny!"

"Mmm.. I've missed you too, love! Now come on let's go upstairs!" John winked as reference to what 'upstairs' really meant, when Mimi walked in. Alice giggled.

"Oh, John come on now, we don't need Michael getting disturbed on his first day here! Keep it in now." Mimi joked and John shared awkward glances between her and Alice. Mimi always seemed so different when Alice was around. Almost close enough to call 'let loose' for who she usually was.

"Michael?" Alice questioned. This is the first she heard of anyone staying at the Mendips since John's uncle George passed.

"Yeah, he's rentin' a room for school. He's a Bio – Chemist student"John answered in a mocking tone, then mumbled shortly after: "whatever that is"

"blab la bla, science, blab la bla, no life, blab la bla" Alice joked but didn't notice that Michael was standing right behind his luggage, amusedly watching.

Apparently neither did John

"I like to mix smokey liquids and watch them explode. Oh and in my free time, I enjoy knitting sweaters for me mum." John mocked back.

Michael quickly cleared his throat, catching both John and Alice's attention.

"MmmHmm. John" There was an awkward silence then, quickly John stated

"actually, it sounds pretty fun" And pulled Alice up the stairs into his bedroom. When he closed the door they began to laugh hysterically.

"MmmHmm. John" he mocked again. Alice laughed and ran into his open arms.

"I missed you so much John!" John rocked her back and forth and mumbled into her neck

"yeah, promise to never go away that far to visit yer uncle again"

"I promise" Alice sighed. John pulled her away for a second to discuss what had happened.

"so how'd it go?"

"well…" Alice stared own at her feet. She was usually embarrassed when she spoke about the little family she had.

"I spent the whole week on the streets until my train boarded. I couldn't afford another ticket, let alone a hotel." She whispered shamefully.

John yelled. "The miserable old bastard! What'd he do? Take you're money too? He'd do anything for that disgusting woman – girl – of his! Choosing pleasure over family now is he? One day it's gonna get him, I'll make sure of it!"

A single tear rolled down Alice's cheek. She didn't respond.

"I'm sorry, Ana. I know he's the only family you've got." John swung her hands back and forth, embarrassed at himself for bad mouthing the only blood she had left in this world. She knew what he said was true but she didn't need him going on about it, she knew how angry John could get and she hated seeing his bad side.

Finally, Alice spoke up.

"Every thing was fine until _she _came home. After that, she and him called me just about every name in the book" Alice scoffed. "He said I was a no good slu* who was undeserving of the parents she had when she had them. He told me I shouldn't have wasted my time trying to get my stuff because he could have just sent them. Afterwards, he threw some of my things and some of me mum's old things at me and cursed me out of his home."

"you didn't deserve that." John himself was surprised at the audacity of some people. He was filled with so much anger at that moment, that he wasn't even sure how to react. She leaned onto his chest.

"John"

"Yeah?"

"they're transferring me….. out of Strawberry Fields orphanage."

"What! When! Why?" John panicked a little. Just earlier, Alice had seemed so happy and normal. He had no idea that she was holding so much in. She seemed so strong to him at that moment, but he was scared to death on how far this new orphanage was going to be and scared for her well being in general.

"Well they transfer me the day after tomorrow. Atleast its not so far, theyre transferring me to the one near blackpool" She still didn't answer why, but John wasn't going to nag her about that. Blackpool wasn't too far from Liverpool but it was too far for Johns liking. Plus, he had heard the worse of rumors from that place and he didn't like the idea one bit.

"Alice, please don't go. You've heard about the things that go on there, I know I have. I don't like the idea of this place in Blackpool" John said in an upset – worried tone.

"Beggars cant be choosers" Alice whispered.

"What about here? At the Mendips! Im sure that Mimi won't mind one bit" John answered excitedly. Alice would not have any of it. _Live with him? _She thought. _Its all too much, especially now._ But she wouldn't tell john of it.

"Don't be silly John, only one more year till' im free, right?"

"One more year" he repeated to her in a soft and soothing way. Alice looked up from their embrace to see a mirror facing her. To brighten things up, she began making funny faces into the mirror. John felt the movement of her cheeks on his neck and turned to make funny faces with her. They began laughing at themselves, and both realized how happy they looked together in their reflection. John nudged her a little and Alice nudged back in a loving way. He held her hand and Alice smiled.

"I wonder how crazy the people on the other side of the mirror think we are" John stated.

"pretty crazy" Alice sighed, only this time it was a sigh of relief.

**Paul P.O.V**

_Here I am, on this great date with a great girl, but all I can think of is __**her**_. Paul nodded to the girl infront of him, pretending as if he was actually listening to what she was saying.

_The way Alice always knows what to say._

_The way that she dances with me to the music in her head. Who am I kidding? She dances with all her friends like that. But she would only slow dance with john._

_John._

_It's just not fair. He get's everything I want. Alice is smart, caring, loving and happy. Even beauty would give her an A+. She's everything I want and more. I have to know if she feels the same way. Wait. What am I thinking? This is me best mate's bird and here I am, trying to take her? No. I am not giving it up to John, again. I need to know if her deep lovingly stares and shy smiles, really mean something._

"Paul, Paul, hello?" the girl called out to him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"oh, listen love, I've got to go okay? Bye" Paul got up from his seat at the restaurant booth and left money for her to pay the bill. He cooly left the restaurant and walked home. He had a lot to think about.

**Alice P.O.V**

As always, Alice stood closest to the stage. The Quarry Men were her favorite in music – next to Elvis and Buddy Holly of course – Plus, she was always there to support John and had quite her fair share of love songs dedicated to her throughout the night.

"Arent they great?" Alice yelled over the music to a boy she just noticed standing next to her. The boy was quite the cutie, Alice thought. He had beautiful brown eyes and deep hollow cheeks. She thought that he would be perfect for one of her old roommates at strawberry fields, Pattie. But Pattie ran away and he was definetley too old for her newest roommate of two years, Ellie, who just so happened to be five. Alice giggled at the weird thought.

The boy answered shyly

"yeah, theyre real gear" then began to stare deeply at his shoes.

"Well you wont be able to enjoy them like that" Alice joked. He chuckled and looked up.

"I'm Alice, nice to meet you" She smiled and looked back to the band.

"I'm George Harrison, nice to meet you too" he smile warmly toward her and looked deep into her eyes then took his hand out of his pocket to shake hers with.

"it looks like the lead singer's got a thing for ye" he grinned and nudged her a little with his shoulder.

Alice giggled. She wasn't quite sure why he'd mentioned it but she already liked this kid. "well I surely hope so. That's John, he's my boyfriend"

Georges smile slowly faded but then turned back to comedic. "well watch out for big eyes over there, he surely see's something in ye" George grinned and turned back to see the band. Alice wasn't sure why but when George mentioned paul, her heart sorta skipped a beat.

After the show Alice wanted to introduce George to the band. She ran up to John and gave him a kiss and whispered "great show"

She turned to George "hey boys, I want you to meet George Harrison – "

"hello George Harrison" John said

" – he says he plays a good raunchy" Alice finished and went to rest on a small couch that stood backstage.

While George showed of his guitar skills to the rest of the band, Paul took this as an opportunity to have a little chat with Alice and he suddenly became a little nervous. He went and sat next to her on the little old couch. As soon as he sat, they both got this funny feeling in their stomach but both ignored it. _I only get it 'cause it seems exciting _Alice thought _it's just a small thing. I love john. _ Finally she broke the silence.

" hey, Paul. Great show tonight!"

"thanks, Allie. Great cheering." Paul smiled. Alice turned to see George.

"he's pretty talented, huh?" she said.

"yeah, he sounds great, we could use someone like him" Alice smiled and nodded her head to the guitar playing.

'Hey Alice, I – " Paul started in attempt to get in deep conversation, when Pete yelled out to him.

"Paul, come on and listen. Little Georgie's pretty good at this Raunchy" Paul nodded and turned to continue when he saw that Alice was already gone, dancing with John while they whispered into eachothers ears.

Paul had somewhat of a chance, but now it was gone to John, again. Finally he thought of another plan to get Allie's attention, and he knew she'd love it.

**A/N: Well it's sorta long but I had an idea and I just had to keep on writing. If you have any suggestions for the storyline or anything go right on and PM me(: it's sorta intimidating to describe things that the Beatles will actually say. Don't worry there will definetley be some ringo in here soon! Gotta love ringo.. Reviews are definetley loved around here so please review! Thanks so much for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Once again, I'd like to thank all of my wonderful readers. I am a fan of all my reviewers' stories, so its great to hear that they like my story too.. its like having a celebrity read your book (does that sound a little weird?)(: Any road, I hope that you all enjoy this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize.**

John walked up to the building – that sadly – he wouldn't be seeing much of anymore.

"Hey Eleanor." John greeted in a monotone voice.

"Hello, John. Here to see Alice, im guessing."

John smirked.

"Go right on up" the sweet woman gestured toward the flight of stairs.

There was a knock on the door. Alice was still sleeping so Ellie got up from drawing to answer it.

"Who is it?" she asked in a low sweet voice.

" It's the tickle monster, and he doesn't like to be left waiting!" John shouted in a playfully monstrous voice. Ellie giggled.

"I wont come out till' Johnny's back!" Ellie shouted back playfully, obviously aware that it was John on the other side of the door.

" Oh but he cant help you now!" Ellie opened the door bravely, only to see that no one was there.

"John? Tickle monster?" Suddenly John pounced on little Ellie, Tickling her, making her laugh like a lunatic. Ellie tackled back and began tickling John crazily.

" Please have mercy on me, love!" he shouted back.

"only because we might wake up Allie" Ellie smirked and walked back to her cartoons.

" She's still sleeping, eh? Tsk Tsk" John said nodding his head back and forth, when he caught a glimpse of what Ellie was drawing. It was a boy and a girl holding hands, with hearts floating around their heads.

"you wanna draw too, Johnny?"John smiled and took a piece of paper and pen and began mumbling the words of what his cartoon characters might be saying.

"You are going nowhere, Barthalemewbla!""is nowhere for the geniuses sir? Hmm maybe I do belong there" He mumbled quietly in funny voices. Suddenly, Ellie stopped him.

"Johnny, do you loooove Allie?"she asked thoughtfully, emphasis on the 'love'.

"More than I love meself, Elle" Ellie smiled and went back to drawing, when Alice woke up.

"Mornin' Honeypie, did ye go get breakkie in the caf' already?" Ellie nodded and ran off to go get some food even though it was 2:00 and breakfast was about 5 hours ago. Alice looked around and her eyes fell upon John's.

"Morning, love" she said in a sweet mesmerizing voice.

"Mornin'." John went to go give her a kiss.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go walk with me in Strawberry Fields, since it's your last day here and all" John asked playing with the fabric of her blankets.

"I'd love to. Let me just get dressed." John smiled cheekily.

"okay. Im going to go say bye to Elle's" With that being said, John left. _He is sooo adorable when he shows off his cute daddy skills _Alice thought. _I just cant wait to see how great of a daddy he'll be, himself, one day. _Alice smiled at the wonderful image in her head.

John and Alice spent the day, waltzing around Strawberry Fields and watching the pretty sky. Every now and then, Alice would snap a picture of John playing around or staring at the clouds.

"What are ye thinking about, John?"

"they're strange aren't they? Clouds."

"I suppose they are. They seem so powerful, yet you'd fall right through one if you tried to step on it"

"Lots of odd things seem strong" John said, intrigued by the moving sky.

Alice thought for awhile "Funny how, the two strongest words in this world, being love and hate, just so happen to be opposites of eachother."

"strange indeed" John turned to kiss Alice. They soon after, got up again and began to walk around, hand in hand.

Alice remembered, briefly, the first time she had been to Strawberry fields with John.

_They were enjoying all the beauty, from a red wooden bench. Although Alice had been living in the orphanage, this was her first time ever visiting Strawberry Fields._

"_I want you to meet me mum" John searched in Alice's eyes for an answer – or reaction atleast. Her face was blank._

"_Only if you want to though" He said, being not quite sure of what she was thinking._

_Her face lit up._

"_I'd love to john! When?"_

"_mmm… Now!" John held Alice's hand tighter and ran in the direction of his mom, Julias house. Alice was so excited, she had heard so much of Julia and although she didn't know her yet, she already liked her. John came to an abrupt stop and stared at Alice, who was admiring the pretty little house infront of her, with a smile playing on her lips._

"_Well, we're here" John said. Suddenly, Alice became nervous. She was sort of scared and she hoped that Julia wasn't as scary as John's aunt Mimi was the first time around._

"_don't worry, She'll love you, trust me" John assured her. Alice smiled and they kissed before both walking up to the red door at the front of the small home. John smirked and began to knock. Julia answered and a wide smile appeared on her face._

"_oh you must be Alice! Darling, john has told me so much of you!" Julia gave Alice a huge hug which made Alice feel welcome._

"_only good things I hope" Alice said in between their embrace. John smiled. Happy that Julia already liked her. He began to clear his throat._

"_oh yes, come in everyone, dinner is almost ready" Julia offered a warm smile and gestured for them to both take a seat in the living room, while she went to check on the food. John sat next to Alice, in the same loveseat._

"_Told you she'd love you" He whispered sweetly into her ear._

Alice was about to remind John of the joyful memory, when suddenly a young man ran up to them. She recognized him as one of john's old friends. He was panting and looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"Well, what is it boy?" John teased and shoved the guy a little.

" I'm so sorry John. Yer mum was just hit by a motor car. Im afraid she didn't make it." The boy rested a hand on Johns shoulder to ease the pain. His words were very sympathetic, yet they were somewhat cold. John stared into space, frozen. Alice too, stood in shock and the young man left.

"John" she whispered, and he sunk into her arms.

"When I thought she was finally here to stay" he whispered back and began to weep into her hair. For a moment, they stood there. Remembering beautiful memories of Julia. Hours had passed. Alice was all cried out, but she couldn't even imagine what was going through Johns head, and there was nothing she could do to make it better.

"John, go home to Mimi, she needs you" He nodded. For the while, they just stood there, kissing when Alice nudged him and he hugged her gratefully, then ran off.

It was getting late already and Alice had to get to the new orphanage in Blackpool before it closed for the night. She ran to her room to get her already packed bags and tears filled her eyes, when she turned to see Ellie sleeping soundly in Alice's bed. She gave her a soft kiss on the cheek and tippy – toed to get her luggage.

"Allie?"

"Hey sweetie, I need to talk to you. Are you still sleepy?"

"No, please talk to me Allie, I know you have to go already, but just for a while"

"Elle, honey, you know it's the last ill be living here, but I promise with all my heart that ill visit you every Friday" Alice said with a warm sincere smile. Ellie smiled back.

"Thanks Allie. I wish you were my mummy, you always make me feel better…. What about John and paul and Stu and Petey?" The little girl asked pleadingly. She had grown to love the band so much, they were always coming around to visit Alice and she had become their 'little girl'.

"No, they'll still be here. And they've promised to visit ye just as much as they have before"

"okay. Every Friday." The girl reminded and drifted back to sleep.

**Paul P.O.V**

_If there's one thing she loves, its surprises! _Paul thought to himself as he walked to go see what Alice was up to. _I cant believe im doing this. I know that John is me best mate and all, but does that mean that I'm supposed to pass up all the great opportunities in life? What if Alice was __**the one**__? Like they say in all those moving pictures. I'm never going to know if I never try. What if she feels the same way? Doesn't that mean something? _Paul pondered his thoughts when he saw Alice walking towards him. Tears in her eyes and a few luggage's in her arms.

"Allie, are you alright love?" Paul asked warmly, searching her eyes deeply to read her thoughts. Nothing.

"uh, yeah.. im just a little sad for Julia and then having to leave Ellie behind…" she trailed off.

"Julia was such a beautiful woman, perhaps she's at peace now, yes?" Paul asked to give her a little hope. Alice threw her Luggage's and hugged him.

"I'm all she's got, Paul" Alice whispered, referring to her and Ellie's conversation.

"Hey, you'll come and visit her, and in the meantime I'll be there everyday after classes. Don't worry. She knows how much you love her. This wasn't your choice" Alice hugged tighter.

"Say, I know somethin' that'll make you feel a little better" He said happily

"Oh? And what might that be?" Alice responded in a happy tone. Paul grabbed her luggage and started pulling her in the direction of his house.

"Where are we going paul?" Alice yelled to him in between giggles.

"Down the rabbit hole!" He answered jokingly. Finally they came to a stop. It was Paul's house.

"What are we gonna do?"Alice asked.

"well, _we_ are going to leave these mobile closets of yours, here for the time being. I have a little surprise." Alice couldn't help but feel a burst of butterflies in her stomach. At that moment, she was so caught up that John wasn't even on her mind. A while later, Paul came out with a wide smile on his face. Alice snapped a picture and laughed at the sudden expression on his face afterwards. Paul walked with an arm around Alice's shoulder as they waited for the #6 bus to arrive. A bus that would – ironically – take them to Blackpool. It was already dark out and it seemed as if no one else was on the bus. They both paid their fare and raced to the back of the bus, where Paul won and Alice ended up on his lap. Anyone would think they were dating, but surprisingly, they were both oblivious to the rest of the world at that moment. Finally they arrived at their stop and Paul thanked the driver, then he covered Alice's eyes with both hands. Alice smiled and tried to tickle Paul from behind so that he'd let go, but he just wouldn't budge.

"Almost there, Alice" he said excitedly.

"I cant wait! Hmmm… I hear…. Is that Rory storm and the hurricanes!" "I love them" she mumbled.

"okay okay, first answer…correct!"

"hmmm…. Funnel cake! Laughing! Paul…." She answered happily.

"okay. Im letting go, but you have to promise not to hurt me" paul joked. He slowly lifted his hands from her eyes, and suddenly she was like a child in a candy shoppe.

"Paul! I love the carnival! Oh and you brought me to the best one in Black pool! I haven't been here in ages!" She tackled Paul with a huge hug and he hugged back and gasped out the words:

"I thought we made a promise Allie!"

"Oh, sorry! And Rory Storm all in one!"

"Well come 'ad, I've already got us the tickets" Alice smiled happily and pulled Paul to the entrance. After a few rides and a won game of rings Paul stopped real quick to take a look at his watch.

"well we've done all the rides – "

"And you've won me a teddy bear" Alice interrupted hugging 'paulie' her new teddy, tightly.

Paul continued, smiling brightly.

"And I think its just about the right time we catch that ferris wheel" As soon as they got on the ferris wheel, they sunk into their seats and relaxed for a moment. Alice began to panic.

"Oh, Paul what time might it be?"

" it is… midnight. Is everything alright love?"

"well…. I was supposed to be at my new orphanage at 10"

"Oh im so sorry Alice, listen, me dad and Mike are out on holiday visiting me auntie. If youd like I could drop you off at Johns or you could spend the night at my home"

"Okay, well I wouldn't want to bother John – not now – Thank you so much for letting me" Alice said with a warm smile. After the ferris wheel ride, they went to see Rory Storm one last time.

"whos your favorite?" Paul asked, seeing as Alice was a big fan.

"hmmm….The drummer! Whats his name? Tsk Tsk Tsk… Ringo!" Paul laughed.

" I don't know… I think the real brains of the band is Rory" Alice smiled and yawned.

"come ead Allie, lets get back now."

"Paul…"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks.. for everything. I really loved tonight, I haven't been here in so long that I almost forgot what it was like" Alice and Paul hugged, when their bus came. It was a quiet ride back, but not the awkward kind of quiet. The _sweet thoughtful_ kind of quiet. When they finally got to Pauls house, they were both pretty tired.

"I'll sleep out on the couch tonight. You go ahead and sleep in my room."

"No, Paul. Its your room. I'll be fine out here."

"I wont have any of it!" Paul joked "What if while we're sleeping a weird thief comes in, and he's on the hunt for an identical girl such as yourself whose name also just so happens to be Alice. Then what? Now I'll be the one to kick his arse out" They both shared good laugh.

"And if I'm sleeping, how is it that this 'crazy thief' – "

" – weird thief" Paul interrupted

Alice smiled "- yes, weird thief, how does he know my name?"

"He just does, Alice" Paul joked. They stood there, laughing for quite a while when they began to yawn again.

"well I'm off to bed love" Paul whispered

"me too. Goodnight Jamie" Alice gave paul a hug _did I really just call him'jamie'? he hates that name! real smooth alice, real smooth! _She thought. Right when she backed out of her thoughts, she noticed that her and Paul were still hugging and he was staring deeply at her. She felt the butterflies again in her stomach. It was a overpowering feeling. One she hadn't felt in a while. They both couldn't help themselves now. Paul felt it too. He moved in closer. Not once did their eyes leave eachother. She moved in a little closer and before each of them knew it they were already kissing. Paul slid his tongue in a little and Alice gave him the sign that showed it was okay to move in a little more. They stood like this for a while, and it was almost as if they both at the same time thought of John. They gently pulled away from eachother.

"Goodnight paul" Alice whispered gently.

"Goodnight Allie" He whispered back.

_No matter how much Alice loved John, she couldn't bring herself to regret the kiss._

_Neither could paul._

**A/N:Well, well, well. Pretty soon we will be learning some pretty new stuff about dear Alice. Until then! Read And Review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks so much for all the wonderful reviews! I get so happy ever time I read one and I am honestly a huge fan of all of your guys' stories! I hope that you all update your stories very soon!(: hmm.. speaking of updating, I am soo sorry that I haven't updated in awhile! I have been up to my eyeballs in homework and I wonder if you even read this? Well if you don't then I guess I shan't stay here speaking to myself. Here is chapter five! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything you may recognize.**

**Chapter- five**

Alice woke up to the soothing 'pitter patter' of the shower near Paul's bedroom. The sunlight from the corner window struck her eyes and she quickly shut them to prevent a headache.

She tried to drift back to sleep, but it was too late. Her mind was already being overcrowded by last night's memories. _How could I be so stupid? What am I supposed to tell Paul? 'Thanks for the kiss, I'm going to go see my boyfriend now'? Gosh Alice, you are such an idiot!_

_Just leave._

_Just leave now and pretend it never happened! _As much as Alice wanted to, she couldn't. She loved John and she couldn't keep a secret like this away from him. She had to talk to Paul about it. But what exactly was she going to tell him?_ Maybe it wouldn't be fair to Paul _she thought. _You can't sell one out without selling the other one. It would ruin their friendship_

"Awake already?" Alice didn't notice that the shower had turned off and she looked up to see paul standing in the doorway with a towel wrapped around his waist, drying his hair with the another.

"I couldn't sleep" Alice whispered and smiled warmly towards him. _Don't smile you dummy!_ She quickly turned to look at something else before Paul would cant the vibe that she mistakenly sent out. He went and sat next to her on the bed. She turned to look and her eyes met Paul's big hazel stare. It made her melt inside, but that was just something that she was going to have to stop. It wasn't like Alice to feel this way. Not about two people. Just John. _That's the way it's supposed to be._ She kept telling herself over and over. It wasn't working.

"What's wrong, love?" Paul said soothingly to her.

"Honestly, I'm not sure." She answered. For a moment there was a silent pause.

"It's about yesterday isn't it?" it was a statement. Paul looked down shamefully at his hands waiting for Alice to answer.

"I belong with John. He has been through so much lately. He just lost his mum and. . . ." Paul looked up from his hands to her, hopefully yet confusingly.

"What do _you_ want Allie? If you look me in the eye and tell me you don't want me, then I'll leave you alone. I promise"

Alice was never sure of what she wanted in life. She was a 'jump before you think and see what happens' sort of mind, and this was no exception to the rule.

She looked straight into his eyes, prepared to tell him the first thing that came to mind._ Kiss._

Alice couldn't deny it. It was what she wanted. Paul noticed the tempting look in her eyes and at that moment, He could see right through her.

"You have to think about what you want sometimes, Allie" he whispered as he moved in closer to her.

It was as if Alice was mesmerized. Her gaze never left his eyes and she slowly nodded as the both moved in closer to each other. As their lips slowly met, they both felt this 'tingly' sensation and the feeling made Alice's cheeks turn eight shades darker than their usual rose color. She could feel Paul smile at this, against her lips and they began kissing passionately.

**JOHN P.O.V**

John lay, quietly thinking at the edge of his bed. He had been tossing and turning all night and he couldn't sleep. The muffled crying coming from Mimi's bedroom began to invade his thoughts. _Shes gone now and I'm just going to have to let it be._ John struggled to get the thoughts of his mother off of his mind. With nothing else to do, he got up from his bed and searched his closet for something appropriate to wear tomorrow. It was going to be Julia's funeral, and he knew that even the smallest things would ruin Mimi to shreds. When he finally found something decent, he tossed it on his bed with a loud sigh. John noticed that his Aunts crying had finally stopped. Maybe he would have time to focus his mind on something – someone – else. Just when John was about to begin working on something that he had thought up, on the guitar, the crying started again. As much as John despised his emotion towards the situation, he decided to console Mimi._ It's what Anna wants, and it's what Mum would have wanted._

**ALICE P.O.V**

His warm hands moved slowly up and down my waist as I gently stroked his neck and ran my fingers through his hair. Each time we would part, he would lead me back to his comforting and soothing touch. Finally, I remembered that I had to make it to Blackppol by 2:00 or my spot at the orphanage would be gone. I slowly parted my lips from his and before he could bring me back, I whispered; "James, Blackpool, remember?" He slowly pulled farther away and smiled.

"I'll go get your bags, hon."

As Paul ran down to get dressed and get Alice's bags ready, Alice pondered through her thoughts. _I hate lying to him. _She thought about John. _It's not like I can tell him. I need to make sure that what's going on is completely real. Then I can tell him what I want._

_What do I want?_

_I can never decide on these kinds of things! I mean, it's not like I'm married to John, I still have time to decide. I'm sure I'll know of my feeling soon enough . . . maybe._

Alice was thinking so hard that she couldn't even comprehend what was going through her mind.

"Allie, you ready?" Paul called out from downstairs. Alice ran down the staircase and planted a quick kiss on his cheek. Paul smiled and grabbed all the bags, leading her out the door.

The walk to the bus stop was held in comfortable silence. When they finally arrived, Paul gave Alice a hug and carried her bags on to the bus for her. Before he got off Alice yelled after him.

"Thanks James" He half smiled. He hated the name, but loved it coming from her.

"Anytime, I uh. . . . I hope that you, uh, have time to think and give me a call when you're all settled, love" She smiled and he winked and ran off before the bus driver could scold him for holding up his route. As soon as the doors closed, Alice sat comfortably and was about to pull out a book when someone tapped her on the shoulder.

"Mary!" she smiled with excitement. Mary was one of her best friends and even though her really name was Maureen, she called her 'Mary' _Maureen is just sort of awkward_ she thought.

"Al! Or miss 'I never talk to my best friend anymore' shall I say" she mocked. Alice giggled.

"Sorry, there's been a lot going on. . . "She trailed off.

"Tell me about it. So, uh why, uh was Paul, uh, bringing your things onto the bus and hugging you ot there?" she mocked the way Paul spoke just a few moments ago, but there was a tone of skeptic concern in her voice.

Alice told her everything. About John, about the kiss. Maureen was sort of shocked by all of it. This wasn't like Alice, but she was never one to judge someone that she loved.

"Are you going to tell John?"

"How could i? Gosh! I am such a horrible person. I really betrayed him didn't I? "

"Don't beat yourself up, Al. We are only human. We all make mistakes. Think about it though, yeah? He loves you, He cares for you, Always puts you first, and you. Well you kiss Paul? I'm not saying it's wrong. I don't know how you feel but just think about it more"

"Thanks, mo. I mean. I've known them both for about the same time. And whenever I'm with them, I completely forget about the other. They each hold their own little world around my heart; I just wish it was like that in reality. _Two worlds where one never knows of the other. _But that would just make me a – "

"Slut." Mo finished off. That's another thing about Maureen. She's brutally true sometimes. But at least she somewhat understood.

"Exactly" Alice looked down at her hands shamefully and began playing around with her book, flapping the pages like wings. Maureen looked at the book as if she was completely amazed by it.

"Well this is my stop, sweet heart"

"Oh, okay, love ya, Mo"

"More than pie?"

"Ahh don't make me answer this" Alice said jokingly. Mo giggled.

"Oh, Allie guess what?" the bus was almost coming to its stop.

"Huh?"

" I've got a date with that Richard drummer tonight!" she said excitingly

"Ahhh! I Love Him!" Maureen clutched her hands excitedly as she walked towards the doors of the bus. Alice giggled and motioned for Mo to call her.

**JOHN P.O.V.**

_I finally got Mimi to settle down with the tears. What to do now_? John tried anything to take his mind off of Julia. He did what he normally did with these types of things, stored them in the back of his mind where he would soon forget them. Alice used to joke and say that he was going to explode one of these days, but what else was he supposed to do with them? He ran down the stairs and yelled out to Mimi that he was going out.

John grabbed his guitar and headed out the door. He was on his way to go visit Alice. Maybe she could take his mind off of some things. On his way to the #6 bus to Blackpool he bumped into Paul. There was just something about him that seemed odd today. He had a cheeky grin plastered on his face but it soon faded at the sight of john.

"Am I that ugly, mate?" he joked. Paul laughed awkwardly.

"Funny, john. . . . So how are ye?"

" I'm absolutely fine, and how 'bout yourself, macca?" he said tapping Pauls shoulder. _Figures_, Paul thought. _The guy cant share a feeling with any other living soul but Alice. Poor ol' lad._

"uh, im fine John. So where are ye headed?"

"I'm going to go see Alice. Takin' a good old trip to Blackpool"

"oh, uh. I just walked by the stop, the bus just passed, it'll probably be a few minutes till' the next one" Paul said nodding his head.

"Alright, McCharmly, you can go on now. Bye lad"

"bye"

And with that, John was off.

**ALICE P.O.V**

_Well, I finally arrived and if I do say so myself, its quite ugly_ Alice giggled. _Ahh, I already miss you Strawberry Fields._ She sighed and began to walk up the cement steps to this new 'prison' as she called it _. _She slowly walked in dragging in all of her bags and set them down by the counter. She met the glare of a mean looking old woman, probably in her late thirties. She stared annoyingly at Alice.

"May I help you?" She said in an un comforting tone.

"yes, my name is Alice Michelle. I'm here to check in."

"ah, yes. Alice. You were supposed to be here yesterday, child. You're lucky that your spot here is still open"

Alice filled out a few forms and the woman angrily gave her the keys.

"Room 910. Do not lose those keys, otherwise you'll be searching for elsewhere to sleep"

"yes, ma'am." Alice answered sweetly through gritted teeth and began to drag her bags up the stairs.

"Here, let me help you with that" Alice looked up to see a curious looking man, who seemed to be quite older than her, offering to help.

"Oh thank you! Its, uh room 910" she said thankfully. The man smiled and grabbed some of her bags. They both joined in small conversation with each other as they trailed up the stairs and finally the got to room 910.

"Here we are, right after 909" he smiled warmly.

"Thank you" Alice grabbed her keys and started for the door when he grabbed her arm forcefully.

"I think I deserve a better thank you than that, honey" He twisted her arm so that she was pushed up against the wall. She tried to do something with her other arm but he soon saw it and pulled them both above her position on the cold peeling paint behind her. She yelled for help but it seemed, no one could hear her cries.

**JOHN P.O.V.**

_This is horrible. _He thought as he trailed up the stairs of the new orphanage Alice would be staying at. He smiled cheekily at the woman at the front desk, hoping that she was something like Eleanor from strawberry fields.

She wasn't. Instead she came off as mean and hateful.

"Room 910" she told John angrily after he asked her what room Alice was in.

John looked under the counter to see that the woman's legs were hidden by a long cover, and saw that she was sitting in a wheel chair. Being John of course, and being in the mood he was in, wasn't going to stop him from returning the rude feelings.

"hey, Where'd your legs go mate? Run off with yer husband!" he cracked a loud bird laugh and ran up the stairs in search of Room 910.

When he Almost got up to the floor level, he was overwhelmed by the feelings in his mind. The long walk up the stairs surely gave him time to think, and he was once again saddened by thoughts of Julia. He was awoke from his memories, by a loud blood curdling yell.

Alice.

**A/N: Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Kinda long but I hope its good. Im sorta tired so I haveno idea how anything really turned out..**

**Read and review!.**

j


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hullo! I know updates have been pretty far apart, but I'm working on it! This is quite a short little chappie, but I hope you enjoy it(: Okay, I'll shut up now!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize.**

**JOHN P.O.V**

John rushed up the remaining stairs and ran through the broken halls in search of where the scream was coming from. He turned the corner of the hall and blacked out as soon as the screaming stopped and he took sight of the horrid view.

**ALICE P.O.V.**

_I stopped yelling and closed my eyes. If this was going to happen, i couldn't stop it and I most definitely wasn't going to see it. I had only ever done this with one person in my life._

_John._

_It was an amazing feeling, but somehow I knew that this time around, it wasn't going to feel the same. The tighter I shut my eyes, the tighter the man gripped my wrists and pulled me towards him. I knew that I couldn't move. I was powerless against him, and he would only hurt me more. I gave up all together, and once he took notice of this, he took full advantage. He let go of me, knowing that I wouldn't dare to move. He creepily ran his fingers up the sides of my legs. I cringed at the feeling, and he only laughed. He slowly curled on hand behind my thigh, and used the other to go further up my dress. I swallowed a hard lump in my throat, fearing what was to come next._

_Then, there was nothing. All of the pressure from his body was released and I feared opening my eyes. All of a sudden, I heard the familiar ranting of John and I quickly opened my eyes, feeling somewhat safe again._

Tears ran down Alice's cheeks as she watched her surroundings. She was so confused about everything that had just happened a moment ago. All that she was aware of now, was blood. Alice stared blankly at the violent fight going on between John and her attacker. She wasn't sure how John got there, but he did. That had to mean something, right? She could see the anger flowing through John's nerves. John's anger had the ability to – sometimes – be contagious. Alice could feel the blood rush to her head, and began to receive dizzy spells. She was under so much pressure, but she didn't exactly know what the pressure was all about or what she was supposed to do with it. She became even angrier at herself. It was an absolutely disgusting feeling to her and she couldn't bear it any longer. She stumbled off into her room and slammed the door shut. She was so overwhelmed by everything going on in life. She threw herself onto the bed and began to sob silently to herself.

_Minutes had passed by and I could hear the loud kicks and punches being thrown past the door. After a while, everything became silent._

Alice lay there, crying to herself, trying her hardest to let it all out, but it was never enough. Each time she thought it was over, she would move on to another piece of her life. She had her face buried in her pillow and the buttons on her favorite red dress had been torn off, revealing her bare neck, down to the smalls of her back. A while had passed after the silence, and then she heard the creak of her door opening and the sound of it slowly shutting. As footsteps came closer, she feared whether it was fearful man or John. She refused to look up, due to cowardliness. The person let out a long sigh and took the place next to her on the small twin bed. He sat close, and there was a long silence. Alice began to hear the sniffling of tears and she decided to look up. She met the sad eyes of John Lennon. His eyes were red as if he tried to cover up his tears before Alice could see them. He knew that he could cry in front of her, and he was completely fine with the feeling of letting her know all of his problems, but just not this time. Considering they were both going through pain he decided to let her release her feelings while he became the strong figure. He stared at her for a while, trying deeply to figure out what was going through her mind. Alice's eyes began to well up again and she flung her arms around his neck and hugged him as passionately as she could. He held her tightly, trying his best to never let her go. He buried his face into her neck and played his lips on it. He rubbed her bare back soothingly, where the buttons had torn and she softly kissed his bruises. Before she could kiss the one near his collar bone, he gently brought her back and looked lovingly into her eyes, always as if he was searching for something.

"Don't do this Alice" He pleaded. "I don't even want you to imagine what that guy would have done to you. People are crazy, that man could have killed you!" she rested her body on his chest and he stroked her hair softly. "Anna, I love you and I can't let you get hurt, I think it would be a lot safer . . . if you would live with me."

There was no response from Alice; she furrowed her eyebrows into a look of confusion and a mixture of many other feelings which John could not comprehend.

"Please Alice, we need each other."

**A/N: Kind of short . . . Read and Review please!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Blah! (: well, here it is:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize. **

Alice played her hands up and down Johns shoulders. She wasn't really sure what to say. Its not like it came as much of a surprise, considering he had asked her before. The only difference was that this time, it was completely serious. She gently moved from her place on his chest and silently laid down beside him on the bed. She stared intently at the ceiling. It was pretty normal for Alice to do these types of things. Most of the time she would jump right in, but sometimes it would take up to an hour for her to answer a question. First she'd think about it, then she would drift off into this 'dream' state and forget everything around her. Then she would bounce back to reality and answer the question. Oddly she was right most of the time, and when she wasn't, she blamed it on fate. She confused John and he liked it. At first he didn't, though. When she did it around him the first time, he had asked her if he could kiss her. It was when they first began dating, and although it was quite odd of John to ask something like that, he did. He felt as if he had to respect her more. It was an odd feeling for him, and when she took a while to answer, he felt rejected. That is, until she turned towards him and kissed him like he had never kissed before. The memory enlightened him as he smirked and laid beside her, he also began to stare at the ceiling as if it held some 'magic' answer. Without looking away and losing her train of thought, Alice searched for Johns hand beside her and caressed it lovingly.

"John?"

"Hmmm?"

". . . . . Don't you think that this is too much for you right now?"

"Why would it be? I mean, it would actually make me feel better" he answered hopefully.

Alice smiled to herself and kissed his cheek gently.

"okay then"

A huge grin grew upon Johns face and he quickly kissed her passionately before she stopped him

"John?"

"Hmm?"

Alice smiled and jumped up from where she was on the bed, grabbed some of her bags and ran out the door. Before John could comprehend what was going on, she yelled

"Catch me!" From down the hall. John let out a huge bird laugh, grabbed the remaining bags and ran after her.

Alice finally reached the bottom of the stairs and let out a sigh of relief, then she heard a thud behind her and before she could turn to look, she was tackled by a laughing John Lennon. They both fell to the ground and giggled hysterically before realizing where they were. John got up to help Alice stand. The woman at the front desk looked surprised, but quickly turned away so that she wouldn't look stupid. Alice and John walked over to the counter. Their bruises from earlier were still obviously noticeable. John covered Alices back as he tried to close her dress up. The woman gave a look of disapproval between them. She obviously had no idea of what had happened earlier, and Alice was _not_ planning on telling her. After a long pause, the woman spoke.

"yes? May I help you? Oh is there not enough towels in your room ma'am?" She said sarcastically.

"I would like to sign out of living arrangements" Alice answered as sweetly as possible.

"So soon? I understand that you are aged 17, and I cannot sign you out without consent of an adult of eighteen years or older." Alice stared blankly then smiled.

"Yes, well John here is eighteen – "

"ID" The woman interrupted staring angrily at John.

John rolled his eyes and smirked. "Here ye are ma'am" He said in the most obnoxious tone he could make as he gave her his ID.

"I'll go get the papers" The woman glared towards Alice and left in her wheelchair, to the next room. Alice smiled and hugged John tightly. He smiled, being content with himself and went to go get her bags. After Alice signed her part of the papers, she let out a happy sigh and gave the papers to John, who then, gave Alice a dress from one of her bags so that she could change into. She kissed his cheek and ran off to go change in the washroom. She came back, turned in her keys and they left that old place as soon as possible.

As they waited for the bus back to Liverpool, John fiddled around with Alice's hair and made funny faces.

Alice giggled and pointed towards the case on his back. "Why did you bring the guitar with you today?"

John showed a shy smile "Well, I've sort of been working on a new song and it was written for you"

Alice blushed "For me?"

"Yes, of course" he smiled and tapped her nose affectionately.

"Well I can't wait to hear it" She smiled and ran her hands through his greasy 'Elvis' impression hair.

John sighed "Why couldn't god make me Elvis?" he complained.

Alice smirked and hugged him tightly. "well, cause he was saving you for John Lennon of course"

As the bus got closer, John groaned "I guess some people just aren't lucky."

Alice giggled and pulled him onto the bus lovingly. They sat all the way at the back of the bus and Alice kept her eyes on the road behind her and rested a hand on Johns shoulder.

"Will you have my children?" John asked smirking. He always asked her these kind of questions. He already knew what the answer would be.

"Nope"

"Marry me?"

"No"

"Have sex with me on this bus"

Alice pretended to think for a while then answered "Nuh – uh"

John smiled and rested his head on her lap until they arrived at their stop. As they walked towards John's house, Alice began to get second thoughts.

"Are you sure, about Mimi? She wont mind?"

"Trust me, she wont mind one bit, she loves you."

"Okay. So guess what!"

"huh?"

"Maureen is going on a date with Richie, the drummer for Rory storm!"

"Really? Its like a revelation in the earths natural system of life, I could have never predicted this, how interesting!" John joked. Alice nudged him and giggled. John dropped all his bags got down on one knee and held on to Alice's hand.

"Marry me Anna" he joked

Alice stared into his eyes seriously. "No." He smirked, got back up and they continued walking to his house. When they finally got there, Mimi wasn't home. She must have been making funeral arrangements. Alice thought. As soon as John carried her bags up to his room, the door bell rang.

"Answer it love, yeah?"

"Kay. . . Coming!" Alice walked towards the door, and without looking to see who it was, opened it.

It was Paul.

"Oh, uh, Hi Allie." Alice smiled awkwardly and hugged him.

"Hey Paul, come in."

"So, back so soon?"

"Well it's a long story." Alice looked to see that John wasn't around and whispered into his ear. "Ill tell you next time" Paul smiled and nodded. _Next time._ Was all that was going through his head.

John trotted down the stairs "Hey, Paulie. You ready to go see George?"

"George?" Alice questioned.

Paul answered. "Yeah he was real great, that night. We're gonna go invite 'im in the band. He's gonna play with us in the show tonight at the Cavern, that is if he joins"

"He will" John interrupted.

"Kay, well you go get him, ill stay here, get ready and we'll meet there?"

"Deal." John kissed Alice and ran out the door, with a sulky Paul walking behind him. Alice smiled and frowned after they left. She ran to the phone and called Mo.

"Hello?'

"Mary!'

" Youre there? How is it?" Alice sighed and told her everything. Maureen's voice began to get shaky and you could tell that they were both holding back tears.

"Alright, well I don't really want to talk more of it, anyroad, are you going to the boys concert tonight?"

"Ill be there!."

"kay bye" Alice smiled and ran upstairs to go change.

**At the Cavern**

Alice and Maureen danced to the beat as the Boys sang their hearts out on stage. Afterwards, John jumped off of stage and kissed Alice. Paul and George went their own ways and were off talking to a group of girls. Pete and Stu were conversating and seemed very intrigued by whatever they were saying. Maureen was off dancing to a new band, and now it was just Alice and John.

"how were we?"

"great I might say" Alice giggled and John caressed her neck with the back of his hand. Mimi telephoned earlier, she wont be coming home because she's staying with the girls while their dad visit's family.

Alice smirked " umm – hum"

"And I hoped that we could just make our way home now" he smiled cheekily, playing with the straps of her dress. Alice giggled and threw herself at him.

"Carry me John!" She blushed and flung her arms around his neck then wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Anything, sweetheart lets go" John laughed and ran towards the door. Alice giggled and kissed him all over his face. Mimis house wasn't so far from the club so Alice got down and ran hand in hand,laughing all the way there.

**Paul P.O.V**

As me and George spoke with these two lovely girls, I let my eyes wander around the room searching for Alice. When I finally saw her. Ill admit, I hated what I saw. She confuses me so much! Earlier I could have sworn she liked me just as much as I liked her, now its as if we don't even know eachother. I saw John rub his grimey hands on her and the only words to define my feelings were Jealousy. I wasn't afraid to admit it to myself anymore, its just not fair! He gets everything, all the time! Will she ever just choose one?. . . . okay, calm down Paul. You may have known her just as long as John but you haven't quite known her as much as he did. Maybe I just need to give it a little more time to grow, is this being ridiculous? Am I chasing an impossible goal? Who knows? Im going for it anyways and I can say one thing.

This day is definetley going to be paying me back.

**Alice P.O.V**

We ran up the stairs to Johns bedroom, it was quite ridiculous how riled up and giggly we were getting, but it was sort of fun. Really fun. John carried me up the remaining stairs bridal style. I really hoped that Michael wasnt home, it would just make us look even worse!. I immediately snapped out of my thoughts when John began kissing me. I ran my fingers through his hair and used my other hand to hold his.

"Honey"

"Hmm?"

"your lips, they taste like honey."

I giggled and and he began un zipping the back of my dress as I unbuttoned the front of his shirt. When we were bared of everything, John began playing with the smalls of my back.

The moment afterwards was as memorable as ever to both of us. John laid next to me and had his head buried into my neck. He was soundly asleep and I could feel the slow hot breath running down my back. I was about to fall asleep when I was struck with possible the worse feeling I have ever felt in my life.

How could I have been so stupid to not use protection?

**A/N: Okay, so this started off as more of a filler chapter, then I decided to add some more drama here and there. I know it wasn't one of my best chapters, but I tried! And I hope that you enjoy it.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello! Well, I would like to recommend to you all a fiction I like called 'Love is all you need' by: 690. Read it cause it makes me happy and I'll update quicker!. Just saying. So without further ado. . . here it is, yo! Haha p.s. there Is a hidden Beatles Anthology book quote somewhere in here, if you can find it!.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the beatles or anything else you may recognize **

Alice slowly opened her eyes. John had one hand buried in her hair and the other in her back. He was still sleeping and she could feel the rise and fall of his chest. Memories of the night before filled her head, and for the moment she let herself smile. She already knew of the mistake that she had made. Her only goal was to forget about it and pretend that it never happened the way it did. Maybe then, the mistake would have no effect. John was slowly beginning to wake up. He dug his face into Alice's neck to keep warm. She finally remembered what day it was. Today was Sunday. Julia's funeral. As if he was reading Alice's mind, John sighed softly and sat up against the headboard. Alice pulled the sheets over her chest, and rested her head on his shoulder. John smiled and offered her a cigarette, Alice turned it away and John laughed a little, knowing that it wasn't really her 'thing'. Alice rolled her eyes playfully and slowly kissed up and down his shoulder, trying to make him feel a little better. John pulled out his ciggie and lifted her chin so that he was staring into her eyes. He smiled playfully and pulled her into a kiss. When it was over, John let out a loud sigh and smiled.

"Guess we should be getting ready then."

Alice stared down at her hands and tried hard not to get her thoughts unraveled in Julia. She, instead turned her attention to her luggage and walked over to find an outfit for the day. She dug through her bags until she found a simple, black buttoned down dress with a plain white Peter Pan styled collar. She searched the front pockets of her bag for her black tights. As she slipped them on, she turned to see that John was still laying in the same spot on the bed, staring into space. She slipped on her dress and sat beside him. She began to stroke his hair and he stared back at her with sad eyes.

"The worst pain is that of not being wanted. Of realizing that your parents do not need you in the same way that you need them. When I was a child, I experienced moments of not wanting to see the ugliness, not wanting to see not being wanted. The lack of love went into my eyes and into my mind. I was never really wanted. And then, she came back. And I was loved again, and I felt wanted by me mum. And then she was gone again. And now, theres really nothing that I can do about it. Am I selfish? Here I am, speaking about not having anyone, when I know that I have Mimi and you. I feel horrible, because, well. . . ." John began to stare at his hands, Alice knew where he was getting at.

"John, your not being selfish. Me mum and dad died before I even knew how to walk. I didn't really get the chance to love them, so I honestly cant say that I miss them. And well, me and me uncle never really got along. Im just glad that I had a 'home' for the short while. I myself, have let go of the hard feelings toward them and myself. At times, I wanted to blame the world for all the mistakes in my life. Now I know, that they weren't mistakes, they were just the missing puzzle pieces to moving on in life. Its only natural to feel the way that your feeling. You loved Julia and she loved you. She still loves you. Don't get angry at yourself. Its not your fault that shes gone now."

John gently kissed Alice on the forehead and smiled sincerely. _I don't think that she has any idea of the way she makes me feel._ He thought to himself.

"what time is it, love?" Alice stared at her wrist watch with wide eyes.

"10:00, service is at 11:00 so we really must be going, John"

John nodded and Alice brought to him a black suit and a white collared shirt.

"we still might have time for breakkie. Ill go make some."

"Yes love. . . . uh, Anna?"

Alice turned and smiled sweetly.

"Please help me tie this fogin' tie" Alice giggled and tied his tie for him. John made the funniest faces as she buttoned his Jacket for him.

She tried her best not to cry. For John.

**At the burial. John P.O.V**

I watched as everyone joined in to slowly bury me mum. I wonder what she would be thinking of this? Theres quite a lot I wonder, of the matter actually. Im sure, that when you die you don't take anything with you, but your soul. Perhaps shes drinking tea with Uncle George? Who knows, maybe im just going mad. Through out this whole day, I have had my head rested on Alice's comforting shoulder. It was a damp shoulder now, considering all the tears I had cried into it earlier. I tried my best not to cry infront of anyone. Especially not Mimi, or the girls. So far, I had succeeded. Just not with Alice. And it felt so good to know that she actually cared about what I was feeling, and not telling me that I had to suck it up. Most of which, Mimi would tell me.

_Finally,_ it was our turn. I held onto Alices hand, tighter than ever before. Everything became silent. There was no more crying and it was as if they were all waiting to see my reaction. We both slowly walked towards the dirt that I would use to Bury my mother with. We each took one handful and for a moment, I stared into Alice's eyes and tried to read what she might have been feeling. I saw nothing. We both began to slowly sprinkle the dirt over the casket.

This time, it was Ana's turn to cry. As we walked back to our spot on the grass, she let go of my hand and wrapped her arms around my neck. I could tell , by her silent sobbing, that this had been something that she had been holding in all day. I couldn't blame her. For the time being, me mum had been like a mum to Alice from the start. They loved each other like sisters, And it was just another piece of family that Alice had lost. _I guess that was the thing about Julia, she could never stay for too long._

**Paul P.O.V**

I kept my head down the whole time. Julia was a beautiful woman and I will never quite understand why she was so sweet and caring of me. After I had covered her casket with the cold dirt, I walked over to John and he shook my hand. One look, and we had already had our minds filled with the memories of Julia from our band practice or Just going over to say hello. I gave him a brotherly hug, and surprisingly, he hugged back. I patted his back and turned to see Alice smiling. I pulled her into a hug that lasted fairly long and I was glad that John wasn't catching on to anything. Especially at a time like this. The poor lad must be thinking that the whole worlds against him, I know _I_ did when me mum died. Alice pulled back, still holding on to my shoulders and sighed.

"obla di obla da, life goes on. Im sure she's much happier now." The words sounded so sweet coming out of her lips. Me and John nodded and I waved as I walked back to where I was originally standing.

"life goes on" John sighed

**Later that day**

"Its over now. Shes officially off the surface of this earth, and everyone tries hard to forget about her. That's just how things work in Johns family. They hide things to themselves forever! One day they are just gonna blow!" Alice whispered to Paul and he listened intently as they sat beside eachother on Mimi's couch. John was off talking to the rest of the family and trying hard to cheer his sisters up.

"As long as ive known John its been that way. That's just their way of coping with things. It makes them feel better."

"Can I tell you something?" Alice asked skeptically

"mmhmm" Paul answered curiously

"I don't think it helps them feel better. Some days I would come over and hear Mimi sobbing over Johns uncle George. She tries to say she's fine – I know – she does, but why lie about it? If someone I loved died, id probably cry about it every night. And id definitely would want to talk about it with someone." Paul smiled.

"I guess some people are different, love. Obla di obla da."

"Life goes on" Alice finished, smiling at the fact that he had remembered her words from earlier.

"Well its getting late, I must be going before my dad gets worried."

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"Ill see you tomorrow at school?"

Paul smiled."Of course, we could even go visit Elle before you go to work."

Alice smiled and stood up to give Paul a friendly hug "Goodnight"

As Paul said his goodbyes to the rest of Johns family, Alice walked over to Johns younger sisters and saw that he was struggling to say the right words, and they were just staring at eachother.

"hey girls"

Johns sister, Julia smiled and hugged Alice tightly. "Hi Allie" she answered in a trembling voice. Alice bent down and kissed her cheek.

"You look just like her, you know that? She was quite beautiful" Julia smiled and nodded.

"I guess you don't need me to tell you that, huh?

Julia hugged Alice again. "My mum would always sing me the song ' My Bonnie' before bed. Not tonight, I guess. I miss her so much! Its not fair. She would always say – at the end of the song – ' oh bring back Julia to me' instead of 'Bonnie' who's going to sing it like that now?"

Alice let a tear roll down her cheek " I guess _youre_ going to have to sing it to your sister Jackie now, sweetie." She said ,tapping Julias nose affectionately.

Julia smiled " I would do anything for Jackie to love me like I loved mum"

Alice giggled "okay then. If you can get your amazingly handsome older brother, John to bring you over to the record store tomorrow, ill get you the sweetest 'My Bonnie' record there is!"

Julia turned quick to see John's reaction and he nodded his head and smiled. She turned back to Alice. "Deal!"

After most of everyone had left, Alice helped clean with Mimi and rested beside John. He had Jackie sleeping soundly on his lap, and Julia with her head tucked at his side as she dreamed away. John stared at Alice and kissed her cheek softly. She rested her head on his shoulder. When Mimi was done arguing with Johns step father about who the girls should stay with, He walked over quietly and lifted them in his arms. He shook his head slowly and mumbled "Bye John" or something among the lines of that. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Time for bed, honey pie. Tomorrow is a new day" she spoke softly to John, and together, they walked silently up the staircase.

**Hmm. . . her and Paul are meeting up tomorrow. Whats gonna happen! I hope you enjoyed this chapter and trust me, there will be more Ringo and George to come. And more drama!(: Read and Review! Tell your friends, tell your family, tell the creepy girl next door, who knows? Don't forget to read 'Love Is All You Need' by the amazing; 690!. Btw: today (well, Saturday) was Linda McCartney's birthday!. She is my favorite photographer, and my favorite Beatle wife. May she rest in peace!**

**Peace&love**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Hello, I would like to thank all of the people who read this story! Thank you for getting me to 49 reviews(: I have a zillion boggled plans for this story and I'm just trying to find a way to fit them all together. Remember, if anyone has any suggestions, just include them in your review or PM me(: Don't forget to read the awesome story 'Love Is All You Need' by: ****twihard . fabrizio690 **** I'll stop babbling now and get on with the story. October 9****th**** is John Lennon's birthday! So if I don't update by then, happy birthday to John Lennon! Anywhoo, Read and Review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize **

**Alice P.O.V**

_I was wrapped in just about every blanket on John's bed. I slowly opened my eyes and soaked in the sights around me. There was nothing quite special about it, really. It was just a regular old bedroom, but for some reason, it meant the world to me. I felt someone sit across from my backside on the bed. I heard his sweet voice humming the tune of 'Love Me Tender'. I closed my eyes again and turned my body towards John. When I opened my eyes again, he was smiling._

"Morning, love" he whispered and leaned in close to kiss me on the cheek.

My heart flourished. I didn't know what it was about today, but I was just crazy for him. Without warning, I jumped up and hugged him as tight as ever. I heard him laugh into my hair and I slightly pulled away, leaving my arms wrapped around his neck. He was dressed and ready for school, but his hair was a complete mess. He smirked and pulled me into a heavy kiss.

"hmm, horny much?" he narrowed his eyes and played with the tips of my hair.

I giggled and pulled onto the trail of blankets I had left hanging off of me. "How did I get wrapped in all of these blankets?"

"Avoiding the question, hmm? You know, I've got about fifteen minutes before I have to head out, love"

I threw my head back in fake frustration and leaned my forehead on his shoulder. "I just woke up and decided, I might as well love you today."

He straightened his posture and tapped my nose affectionately. "it's a good thing, that love isn't it? I love you."

"Even though I have two first names?"

"Even though you have two first names."

"Even if I get fat?"

"Even if you get fat."

"Even if I break your favorite guitar?"

"Alright, now you're just pushing it!" I giggled and untangled myself from the mess of blankets, while John tried brushing out his hair. John could see me from the mirror and he let out a huge bird laugh at the sight of me struggling to get out of the mess I had made. I furrowed my eyebrows and laughed at myself.

"Shhh! We're going to wake Mimi and Michael!" I whisper – yelled.

John whispered playfully. "They're not home, love!"

After finally getting myself untangled, I kissed John goodbye and walked him down to the front door. I was not looking forward to giving up my weekend, at all.

"Alright, don't forget to take Julia to Nems afterschool"

"Okay, I wont. Love you, see you later." John rushed down the porch stairs and stopped quickly before yelling; "I love Alice Michelle, even though she has two first names!" and with that, he was off for the day.

**Paul P.O.V**

I opened my eyes and stretched my arms as far as I could.

_Great._

Time for school, when was the damned thing ever going to end? I looked at my alarm clock and noticed that it was still a little early. I sighed and pulled off my covers. _Alice was probably up already, she's usually always up early and John should be gone by now. . ._ I slowly got up and trotted down the stairs to get to the telephone. As I shivered from the cold touch of the floor against my feet, I dialed the number that I had come to know so well. After a few rings, I heard her sweet voice on the other side of the line. I smiled to myself.

"_Hello?"_

"Alice, its Paul"

_Alice smiled and began to twirl the telephone line. "Hello, James. Good Morning. Uh, you just missed John. He's gone." Her last words came out skeptically, as she hoped the call was for her_.

"Actually, I was hoping he was. Can I pick you up, love?" Paul's smile was audible in his words.

_So was Alice's. " of course, I'll be ready soon"_

"Alright then, bye." The phone line went dead and Paul hung up. He smiled and walked back up to his bedroom to get dressed. As much as his feelings for Alice grew, so did the sickening feeling in his stomach. He knew that John would find out. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew that things weren't going to be the same anymore. He wanted to be a good friend,_ but he just couldn't let this one slip away._

**Alice P.O.V**

_What am I doing? I have Both John and Paul, and I don't even know what to do with myself! The easy answer would be to choose John. Its what everybody wants of me, and im already sure I love him, but part of me feels that there is still something more. Something that I am missing out on. Something that I'm not getting with John. I just wish I knew what that something was. Sooner or later I was going to have to figure out. Funny, youd think i'd be scared for John to figure out. Maybe, he needs to know. Maybe that's how I'll know, myself. I guess whatever happens, happens. I have to stop caring about what other people want, and figure things out for myself. I f I didn't give my everything to Paul, I would never really know whats missing. Im going to have to risk it. Afterall, Obla Di Obla Da, life goes on, right?_

_I heard the doorbell ring throughout the house as I slipped on my heels. I grabbed my bag and ran down the stairs with a smile planted on my cheeks. I stopped before opening the door. 'remember Alice. Treat Paul like you would treat John, maybe that something will become more obvious.' I opened the door and threw myself into Paul's open arms. I could feel him smiling against my ear and I giggled._

_It was a quiet walk. It wasn't awkward at all, and every now and then, Paul would tickle my hand as he held it warm in his jacket pocket. We were in our own little world again, and I wasn't going to bother to worry._

"Yay, school." Paul joked.

"I just don't feel like going at all today."

Suddenly, we stopped walking. Paul looked at me skeptically, with a smirk playing on his lips. I smiled and nodded my head yes. Within minutes we were in front of his house. He put our bags inside. And invited me in for tea.

"I love your home, Paul. Its so warm and cozy and I love all the family photos" Paul smiled as he poured my tea.

"We haven't really changed it since me mum passed."

I walked around the living room, taking in all the portraits and cinnamon scent. Then, something caught my eye.

"Awww! Look at little James, doesn't he look sooo cute in his witto sailor suit!" Alice cooed. Paul sighed and cupped his face in his hands. Alice began to giggle and pinched his cheeks affectionately.

Paul laughed. "Aww, schucks."

After we drank our tea, we took a stroll down strawberry fields. We spent the rest of the hours there. Just staring at the clouds or taking photos, or just enjoying eachothers company. I noticed a group of children running around, and my eyes met Ellies. She ran towards me and Paul with all her energy and jumped into Paul's lap.

"Allie! Allie! I missed you! I thought that you were gone forever and that you weren't going to visit me anymore and that I wasn't going to have anyone to have girl talk with!. . . Paul! I didn't even see you! I missed you too! Only, you visited me yesterday before bedtime to tuck me in, so I don't miss you that much." Paul laughed and I was so overwhelmed by everything that she had just said.

"Honey, its only been a few days. And im back now, for good so don't worry. I would never leave you."

Ellie scrunched her nose. "Good, because now that I have school, we _have_ to talk about the new boy."

Paul furrowed his eyebrows. "And who's this new boy, huh?"

"Never you mind. Girls only!" Ellie poked Paul's shoulder and nodded her head." Oh, I have to go! Mrs. Sadie doesn't like when we trail away from the play area, bye!" And with that, the burst of energy was gone.

Me and Paul weren't quite sure what had just happened and we burst out into fits of laughter. He checked his wrist watch, and held my hand, leading me down the trail until we stopped by an old willow tree. It seemed as if, without words, we had spoken to eachother the whole time. It was like he could read my thoughts and I could read his. He leaned me against the tree and trailed his hands down my sides. He gripped onto my hips and his eyes never left mine. He moved his body closer towards mine, and I glided my hands up and down his back. It was a comforting feeling for both of us, and I decided to tuck my hands into his jacket to keep warm. Our bodies were touching now and I could feel his hands move lower, leaving a trail of warmth. I held on to the waist line of his pants and slid my hands until both of my thumbs overlapped on the top part of his front button. We both closed our eyes and his lips touched mine sweetly until it developed into a passionate kiss. When it was over, he had his face tucked into my shoulder and I was panting for air.

"James" I whispered as sweetly as I could, trying not to ruin the moment.

He turned his head into my neck "yes?" The words came out sweeter than ever and I could feel his lips moving against my skin and his hot breath trailing down my backside.

"I have to work." I whispered back in my best attempts not to ruin the vibe between us at the moment. I could feel him smile and he pulled up and kissed my cheek.

"I'll walk you." I smiled and we walked hand in hand to the record store.

**John P.O.V**

As soon as I got out of school I walked straight to pick up Julia. I was so glad that I had Alice to help care for my sister the way she does. I knocked on the door and Julias father answered. It took all my power to contain the anger I had towards him.

"John!' Julia ran towards her day and hugged him goodbye. "John is going to take me to go get a new record! I know, I know, I have to share with Jackie, don't worry, I will! I promise, can I please please please go? Please?"

John smiled at how enthusiastic she was about going with him, but he decided to just stay silent. After Julia's father said yes, Julia ran with John hand in hand all the way to the record store. Any other day, John would have been annoyed, but today, he was okay with it. He knew that this was as close as Julia could get to her Mum. It was just a little sad to him that she needed a song to do that for her. John could see through the glass window that Alice was sitting on the counter with her legs crossed, reading a magazine. He and Julia walked in and Julia had a permanent smile planted on her face and in her eyes. Alice looked down from the magazine and smiled. She got down from the counter and kissed John on the cheek. She turned towards Julia and smiled widely.

"Alice! Thank you! Thank you! So much for letting me come and pick out a My Bonnie record."

Alice smiled. "Anything, honeypie." Suddenly, someone cleared their throat and Alice turned to see her boss, Brian leaning on the counter. She smiled warmly.

'Hello, , I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, John and his sister, Julia."

"Oh so this is the John that _someone _always talks about. And Alice, please, ive told you hundreds of times, call me Brian." Alice blushed and widened her eyes at Brian. He smirked and went behind the counter.

"So I hear, there is a very special customer here today to pick out a new record, hmm?"

Julia giggled and raised her hand.

"Well come on over, your record is on me!" While Julia and Brian searched through records, Alice told John about how Brian was looking into managing new bands. After her shift was over and Julia picked her record, John decided to introduce himself.

"Mr. Epstein, Im John Lennon, how would you feel about coming out to see me band play tomorrow night at the Cavern?"

Alice smiled to herself.

**A/N: Well, it was quite long, and im sure it wasn't the greatest of chapters, or maybe it was, who knows? Id like you to press that little review button down there! It would mean the world to me(: Tell me what you think, add some suggestions, anything would be good, I love hearing from you guys! I really hope that you enjoyed this chapter, im trying to set things up for the future. Remember! This is fan – FICTION so not everything in here is actually historically correct! Don't forget to read 'Love Is All You Need' Until next time, Peace&lovee!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hello, pleasure seeing you here (: I wonder if you're even reading this . . . anywhoo, Happy Day – late birthday to John Lennon! I surely celebrated the wonderful day. What about you? I would also like to say congratulations to Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell on their new marriage. (Even though I am slightly jealous). Apparently on this day, in 1968, the song 'Why don't we do it in the road?' Was recorded. I am not sure why I decided to mention that. . . Well I am probably boring you, so remember to read and review!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize. . . Sadly.**

Alice woke up to the sound of heavy raindrops beating outside of John's windows. She slowly rose out of bed, trying hard not to wake him up. The house was silent, and the only noise that could be heard was the soft breathing of John sleeping and the occasional tosses and turns. Alice had a wave of fear passing through her mind as she silently searched through her stuff. She pulled out a small book and slowly turned its pages until she reached the month of June. She slid her finger across the page, looking for the day. Her finger stopped and she quickly closed the book. Her hand began to shake as she twirled the ends of her fringe. Thoughts were flying through her head as she tried to keep track of what was going on.

"Thinking so early in the morning? Don't hurt yourself, love." Alice didn't realize John was awake, and she was scared to ask for how long. She tried her best not to tear up and smiled as sweetly as possible.

"I have to go see Maureen, I think I'll just meet you at the cavern for lunch." Alice couldn't even look John in the eye.

"Is everything alright, Anna? Do you want me to walk you?" John had a look of confusion in his eyes, he had never really seen Alice so strange.

"No. its fine, Just something that came up with Mo and she needs me to help her."

Alice dug through her bags that she still hadn't unpacked, John kept watch of her still with confusion in his eyes. She pulled out her tights and a yellow shirt dress. Without saying a word, she walked out of the room and into the bathroom. John sat up with one eyebrow lifted. It wasn't like Alice to be so quiet, she always looked into his eyes and she most definitely never had a problem with undressing in front of him. He slowly got up and walked towards the door with his arms crossed, he leaned on the doorframe and when Alice walked out she bumped into him by accident. John widened his eyes and let out a small laugh. Alice stared at him and also let out a giggle. She swung her arms around his neck and gave him a few pecks on his lips. He smiled and without another word Alice was gone.

She closed the front door quietly and swallowed a lump that was forming in her throat. She closed her eyes for awhile as she leaned on the door and listened to the rain. She opened her eyes quickly, hoping that it was all just a dream. It wasn't. So she ran.

**Paul P.O.V**

_Rain. Again. I should be used to it now, considering thats all there really is around here, but it's still such a drag. What kind of place has cold wind days and rainy mornings as normal summer weather? Only Liverpool. At least it's the weekend again, Graduation is next week and i probably wont have to leave this bed so often._

Paul thought to himself as he stared intently at the window near his bed. The doorbell rang and he slowly turned his head to the clock which read that it was still pretty early to have visitors. Too early. With a sigh, he lifted himself up and slowly walked down the staircase to the front door. With a yawn, he looked out the window and saw a familiar face that he just didnt want to deal with this morning. With a loud sigh he opened the door and leaned against the doorway. The blonde headed girl with big blue eyes jumped from surprise and widened her eyes at Paul.

"Hello, Ramona. What time is it?"

The girl smiled excitedly and began to twirl her hair. "Um, im not sure but i came over because me mum wanted to invite you and your father and Mike ofcourse, to dinner." Paul closed his eyes for a while and tried to convince the girl of his smile.

"Yes, ofcourse Ill tell my father that you stopped by."

"Thank you, oh Paul, what about our date we had a while ago? Was everything okay? You got up and left in quite a hurry." The girl held a small pout on her face and rested her hand on Paul's shoulder. Paul stared at it for a while and looked back at the girl.

"Listen, Ramona, it's just not gonna work. I hear Stu really likes you and he wanted to ask you out."

"Really?" the girl held a look of confusion and excitement.

"Yes, really." Paul slowly removed her hand from his shoulder and closed the door. He let out a final sigh of relief and slowly walked back up the staircase, to bed.

**Alice P.O.V.**

She already knew which way she was running. It was a road that had become familiar to her over the years of friendship. She ran up the porch covered stairs and rang the doorbell. Maureen answered with a slight look of fear in her eyes.

"Oh goodness, Alice! I thought you were my parents!" Alice smiled and pulled Maureen into a friendly hug. Maureen pulled her in and closed the door behind her.

"Is everything alright, love? You havent come over _this_ early since you used to date Jake!" Alice cringed and rolled her eyes playfully, then nodded her head. There was a creak from Maureens door and Alice looked up the steps with wide eyes.

"Oh, uh. . . Morning." Alice smiled and Mo pulled her up the stairs.

"Alice, this is Richie." Maureen was blushing as she exchanged a knowing smile towards the shirtless drummer infront of her. Alice nodded her head and winked. She stuck her hand out and he shook hers with a dorky grin.

"Im Alice, its very nice to meet you. I, uh, Im actually a big fan of your band!" Richie laughed a little and shook with more enthusiasm.

"Im Richie, Some people call me Ringo and it's very nice to know you enjoy the good ol' Hurricanes!"

Alice smiled at Maureen, but Maureen could tell that something was wrong.

"So what was it that you came over to talk about? Is it a private kind of thing?" she asked sincerely.

"Well, Ringo could stay, if he likes. It's kind of. . . Important." They all walked into Maureens room and took a seat wherever they could find one.

Maureen was first to speak. "Whats up?"

Alice sighed and looked down at her hands. "Im late. . ." Maureen stood quiet and Richie widened his eyes and began to play with his thumbs. " Four days, as of today." She swallowed hard, trying not to cry.

"Does John know?"

"No. I dont think i can tell him."

"What do you mean, you dont think you can? This is a big deal Alice! Youre preganant!"

Alice's eyes filled with anger. "It's not in the cards for him, Mo! This isn't what he wants, i know it for sure! He's going to be a Rockstar! It would only be a burden, and I wouldnt want to ruin his life."

Maureen took realization of how stressed she was and decided to calm down. "Alice, youre scared. I know you, youre not scared of being pregnant. Youre scared of John."

Alice began to cry. "He doesnt want what i want in life. John doesnt want children and family and I'm tired of making him into something he's not. John isn't. . . Sweet. He has anger and sadness and everything is held inside of him. I'm tired of feeling like I sometimes force him to open up or be nice. Whether he knows it or not, That just isnt who John is. And soon he's going to realize it, and when he does, i wont let him stay inlove with me." Alice's last words came out slightly harsh.

"Alice. What if youre wrong? Maybe John is changed for the better. You cant base everything off of your past relationships. John isnt like Jake."

"Why not. Do you remember what happened? Everything was fine, until i tried to break up with him. I was naive to think that he was changed." Alice looked down at her hands again. " I was naive to think that he wouldnt slap me."

"Im sorry Alice. I know what happened, and i can't believe I almost forgot how bad it was in the end. I dont think John would ever do that to you. He's in too deep. He loves you too much. I _do_ think that He isn't going to want it, but he'll accept it. And i _do_ think that he's going to stop you from doing what you want to do with your life. I dont understand. Why wouldnt you let him love you anymore?"

"Because, i know that i change him. And i dont want to let him be changed. I want him to be who he is and who he wants to be. Did you know, John has never, not once, asked me what _I_ want to be. Or how it's already expected to follow in wherever John goes?" Finally, it hit Alice. The one thing that she had been trying so hard to figure out.

"Thats why i want Paul. Because he wants what i want. He's actually willing to follow me before he finds which way he's going." Maureen smiled.

"Only you can decide which way you go. Do what you want to do, love. I'll call the doctors office and we can go together tomorrow."

Alice gave Maureen a hug, and without words, ran down the stairs and out the door.

Alice wasnt stupid. She definitely wasnt ready to jump into a decision. She did what she did best in times of crisis. She talked about them and forgot until they came up again. She lived in the moment, and thats what made her free.

The rain had stopped and Alice walked towards Paul's house, taking in the sights as she went along. She smiled when she seen the small home that she had came to recognize well over the while. Four weeks ago, John had met Brian and introduced him to the band. They were all so happy and Paul was Alice's escape from all the 'Brian' talk coming from John. She found it amazing how Paul could be so excited about taking this big step, yet all he wanted to focus on, was Her. It was different. Alice slowly walked up the steps and knocked on the door sweetly. Paul answered and a huge smile grew on his face.

"Hello, love." He spoke sweetly to her and moved a strand of hair from her face.

Alice smiled and pulled him into a long sincere hug. Afterwards he invited her in and they both sat on the couch. Paul sighed warmly and rested his head on her lap. She ran her hands through his hair before speaking.

"James, i know that you were a little confused when i moved in with John. Thank you for not pressuring me to tell you why. I'm ready to tell you now." Paul sat up and she told him everything about what happened in blackpool. By the end of the conversation, she had to re assure Paul that she was fine.

"I should have went with you there and taken your stuff for you, I'm sorry, Allie." Alice smiled and pulled Paul into a deep kiss. He ran his hands through her hair as she moved her hand closer to his inner thigh. He slowly moved his hand from her hair, down to her lower back. He stopped, panting for air, as she was.

"You dont have to do this if you dont want to, Alice." She slowly got up from her spot on the couch, holding Pauls hand. He got up and stared into her eyes.

"I want to." He smiled and together, they slowly walked up the staircase, into his shut the door behind them and grabbed on to Alice by her waist. She wrapped her arms around his neck and they began kissing again. The closer they got, the more strength was used. Paul moved his hands lower and lower. He began kissing her neck and she let out a moan. He gently moved her towards the nicely made bed, and laid her down. They were both catching their breath, and Paul gently moved on top of her, un buttoning her dress as she undid his shirt. Slowly, he removed her tights, and they began making love.

**A/N: Could you ever find it in your dear hearts to forgive me? Please! I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter. It was Prettay hard for me to write. (as you can see). Tell me what you think about it! Be honest, but also, please do be nice. Afterall, this IS my first Fic. Please review! Peace&love to all of you! Thank you for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four (: Thank you, everyone who reviewed! I'm up to 64 reviews now! It puts quite a big smile on my face. You guys are all very amazing! Well, enough with the blabbing, Here it is!**

**Disclaimer: You can't make me. . . I'm not. . . I'm. . . I . . . ugh! Fine! I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize. . . Maybe.**

"Hmm. . . it's quite weird, don't you think?" Paul laughed as he tickled Alice's feet with his toes. And squinted his eye at the Elvis poster across from his bed.

"Just one more! Every time I snap the picture I laugh! Our feet are going to come out like a piece of Picasso!" Alice nudged Paul with her shoulder as she wrapped her foot around his ankle.

"Piece of Picasso? What is that? Any ways my leg is tired, how much longer?"

"It's a proper phrase! And just one more picture! No laughing this time, I promise! I just want two things, and the first one, is a picture of our feet looking like their picking Elvis's nose on the poster!"

"What's the second thing?"

"It's a secret, you'll have to guess." Alice smiled as she quickly snapped the photo.

Paul mumbled to himself "I'll have to guess. . . "

"Yes, you'll have to guess. " Alice smiled playfully as she set down the camera and turned to face Paul. He had a small pout on his face and she giggled.

"So, what exactly is this photo going to look like? A pair of feet?"

"No! if I have the angle right, it'll look like our toes are picking Elvis's nose."

"Oh, I think mine was in his mouth." They burst out laughing, when Alice caught sight of the alarm clock.

"The Cavern. Lunch! If we don't leave now, you're gonna make it late." Paul widened his eyes and let out a loud sigh. He kissed Alice on the cheek and got up to pass her, her clothes.

**Alice P.O.V**

_There they are. My black tights and my yellow shirt-dress in Paul's hands. What have I done? When I thought I couldn't fall any deeper, I have sex with him. It would be easy to say I'll never do it again, or that I regret all that happened, but I really don't know what's worse. The fact that it __**did**__ happen, or the fact that I can't bring myself to regret it at all._

I take my clothes, holding the sweetest smile I could pull off.

_John._

_Oh god, what have I really done! I would be an Idiot to think that what I just did didn't mean anything. It obviously meant something. What did it mean? _I said my goodbyes and walked right back into the direction that I had came from.

Alice slowly walked up the stairs, rang the doorbell, and waited for what seemed like forever in her mind right now. Mo opened the door with a look of surprise on her face. Alice smiled sarcastically and walked right past Mo, and threw herself, faced down on the couch. Maureen giggled and closed the door behind her.

"I did it again, Mo!" Alice said lifting her hands in the air.

Maureen slowly walked over to her friend on the couch and squinted her eyes suspiciously. "Do I _want_ to know what you did. . . Again?"

Alice sat up with a pout on her lips. "I don't know what you call it! I pulled another 'Alice' move, I messed up, I killed it, I. . . I had sex with Paul!" Alice began to giggle at the last sentence. In most cases, she would have taken it seriously, but when she often messed up, she laughed at how ridiculous she had been. No matter how serious the matter. Maureen stared at her with a complete look of surprise and plopped herself on the couch.

"You're really good at this, y'know! Well, are you ready? For the huge speech you're about to get?"

"Hit me."Alice stopped laughing and turned completely serious.

"How could you do that to John? Alice, how could you do that to Paul! Think about it, do you think that Paul's going to wait around forever while you take your sweet time choosing who you want to love the next morning? Honestly, what goes on in that mind of yours? Tell me, has John ever cheated on you! No! In fact, I remember the first day you introduced me to him, you guys were so in love, what happened! What is so wrong in your relationship that you have to go out and cheat on someone who would give their life to keep you! And even worse, I'm pretty sure that you just so happen to be bearing his child!" Maureen paced back and forth, she had so much to say and she was trying her best to comprehend what words she should put them in.

"That's the thing, mo" Alice began to tear up. "I don't know what goes on in my mind! It's moving so fast that I barely have enough time to catch which way it's going! I can't just decide who I want to love! It's not as easy as you say it is, Love isn't decided, and even if it was, you of all people should know how hard it is for my mind to do such things! I just feel like I don't want to give myself away! I'm not John's to keep. I'm not anyone's to keep and I never had a problem with John keeping me at the beginning, but now. . . I guess I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Of deciding I love John and in the end finding myself trapped."

Maureen's face began to soften into a look of sadness, she hated seeing her best friend like this. Alice had been with her through thick and thin. She always had the answer, and this time Maureen felt horrible because she couldn't return the favor.

"I honestly don't know Alice. I hate to say it, but sooner or later, you're going to have to decide. One second, you want a family, The other, you can't bear the feeling of being trapped. I can't tell you what you want And now that it's gotten serious, I think it's obvious what you're going to have to choose."

Alice looked down at her feet and began sobbing. After a long while, she quietly stated "I don't want it." Her words were sad and she began sobbing even harder after they left her lips.

Tears began to roll down Maureen's cheek and she wiped them with the tip of her thumb as she sat next to Alice. "Adoption?"

Alice dried her tears and began to sob all over again.

"_Abortion."_

There was a long silence, as the word rang quietly in both of their ears. Alice was first to speak. She tried her best to avoid eye contact.

"It wouldn't be fair if I keep it. It also wouldn't be fair to have it out there; torturing itself over why it's mum gave it up. I'd rather wait till I'm sure I want to have it, I don't want to give it a crappy life."

Maureen sighed. "I can't make your decisions for you."

Alice scoffed. "I'm going to have to leave."

"Leave? As in, Liverpool?" Maureen's voice got higher with every word she said. Her tears began streaming faster, and Alice had begun to silently cry, softer now.

"Staying here has only proven to make things worse. If it turns out I am pregnant, I'll have to give it up and leave Liverpool. That's the only way I'm going to be able to get back up on my feet."

"Right. _If _you're pregnant. Where would you even go? What if it turns out you're not?" Maureen asked with a bit of hope in her voice. She saw that Alice was unsure of herself. "There's always room here for more." She smiled.

Alice laughed and dried her tears. She smiled at Maureen gratefully and they both decided to head towards The Cavern. Alice thought about how her day had been a complete rollercoaster, but decided to push the thoughts aside. _I talked about them, got them off my chest, now it's time to forget._ They walked down the stairs that led to the main room of The Cavern and Alice met John's eyes. He smiled happily and pulled her into a hug. She smiled as best as she could. For the most part, it was convincing.

As she kept her arms around his neck, she met Paul's eyes. She couldn't exactly tell what was going through his mind, but she knew it was horrible. Without looking away, she whispered into John's ear, the simplest of words that seemed so hard for her to say at that moment.

"I love you."

**A/N: Once again, please forgive me! I'm not sure at all how you guys are comprehending this chapter. I'm honestly not even sure if it was a good chapter at all. For the most part, as you can see, I'm introducing more of an insight into how Alice really works her way around life, and hopefully you are all understanding what i write when i try to give an insight into her complex feelings. Sooo, we're starting to see little by little, a more darker side of Alice. You didnt expect her to be perfect, did you?(: P.S. heres a hint; if you thought we were towards the middle of the story – think again! We're just barely starting things off!**

**R&R**

**Peace&lovee **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hello Hello (: I am so happy that I've made it all the way to 73 reviews! You are all very awesome! Listen, I know that the past chapters haven't been in much of your favor. If you want, you can always go on and send me your comments and suggestions either in a PM or review (: don't forget, I love you all equally! Ha-ha . . . maybe. Just kidding. R&R**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Beatles or anything else you may recognize.**

_As she kept her arms around his neck, she met Paul's eyes. She couldn't exactly tell what was going through his mind, but she knew it was horrible. Without looking away, she whispered into john's ear, the simplest of words that seemed so hard for her to say at that moment._

"_I love you."_

**Paul P.O.V**

Her words stung harder than I imagined they would. I knew that she belonged to John, but it was as if she was trying to tell me something. I turned away; I just couldn't handle what was going on. Besides the fact that I didn't understand, I also realized that I was probably over thinking all of this and I just couldn't let this whole thing take up my thoughts. Pete must have figured something was wrong because he shot a look at me and then back at john. I could almost feel john's eyes on my back and his sharp tongue ready to snap. Just the thought of it made me angry. I felt as if I was betrayed by her. Is that wrong? She basically showed me she loved me earlier, and now it looks as if she could care less of what happens. I guess I was being quite a git, thinking that she would actually choose me over John.

"You know Macca, Jealousy isn't a pretty color on you."

There it was. He always had to say something. He knew that I've always fancied Alice, heck, everyone in the band fancied Alice. Any day I'd shoot back with a laugh at his jokes about it, but this time, it wasn't funny. It took a lot for me to turn the other cheek. I know that John wasn't purposely out to get me angry. Well, he was, but most of the time he did it as a joke. Without word or expression on my face, I turned around. Of course he was standing there with that old Lennon smirk that seemed to annoy me so much these days. I rolled my eyes and grabbed some of the random instruments lying around. At least it gave me _something_ to do. As soon as I felt he wasn't looking, I turned to look back in her direction. As if her words didn't sting enough, I had to look at her all day. I don't think she'll ever fully understand what she does to me. And yet, _I'm in love._

**Alice P.O.V**

"_You know Macca, Jealousy isn't a pretty color on you." _

As soon as the words left John's lips, I felt a blow of shame pass over me. I tried my best not to look in either of their directions, or even look like I was listening. I turned to Maureen, which was of no help. After we got here, it seems as if she wants nothing to do with me. She won't even look me in the eye. The only thing I've gotten from her so far was a look of disapproval. I can't help but think that I might have changed things between us after our conversation earlier. _How stupid. _Maybe I'm just over reacting a little. I mean it's only been what? An hour? The best thing I could do right now is maybe pretend like we didn't even have the conversation.

I walked to the back of the stage and threw myself on the Old couch that lay as a resting spot for the bands. I played around with my camera and made sure that it was ready to photograph. I was just about to make my way around to the front of the stage when I bumped into someone.

I looked up from my camera and smiled.

"Hey George." He had his hair slicked into a mess. He smiled shyly and I could tell that he struggled for a while, trying to think of what to say.

"Hi, Alice. . . You comin' all right there?"

"Not really, but the best of us aren't, huh?" He seemed confused for awhile, until John came out scolding him to hurry up. I smiled at the glee and dedication in George's eyes and tried to walk away.

"No kiss?" I slowly turned to see John, who was shaking his leg impatiently, and waiting for me to respond. He had no idea what was going through my mind, and it wouldn't be fair to take my feelings out on him so I tried to pull of the most playful smiles I could. I walked over and kissed him all over his face, before pushing him in the direction of the stage. Before he went on, he smiled an ear to ear grin. I felt a pang of hate towards myself. How could I do that to John? I've ruined everything, and he has no idea of it! Sometimes I wonder if it's even _my_ brain that making the decisions. Maybe I'm a lot more horrible than I thought. Maybe I'm a lot more horrible than_ everyone _thinks.

Finally, after A few hours of cheering and talking to random people, John and I left. I tried my best to keep my eyes off of anyone the whole time. Every little while, I would look up on the stage, only to see Paul staring back at me. It made me feel. . . Dirty. As if he expected something more from me, something that I just couldn't give him. I could tell, at that moment that the look in his eyes, was pure disgust. I held back tears and John must have realized it because he began to tug at my hand for attention.

"What's on 'ye mind?" John asked, cocking his head to the side, trying to look me in the eye. I felt at a loss for words, but at the same time I wanted to pour all my problems out on him.

"I don't plan on living in Liverpool forever."

"No one does, it's a freakin' hell hole. Well, actually it's not all that bad."

"I want to live in. . . I don't know, but I want it to have a garden."

"Oh? And are you going to be planting all the flowers?"

"Not alone. Me and my future . . . well I don't know what he'll be. But he's going to help me plant"

John raised an eyebrow."And what about me? Am I going to be this, Mysterious garden-helper?"

"Depends. . . Will you paint my white roses, red?"

John smiled and began to twirl me as we walked toward the front door of Mimi's home. I stopped quickly and John crashed into me. We began laughing and I began to feel worse and worse about what I had done earlier. I realized how John made me feel. Our conversations usually lead nowhere, and they were all quite random, but I loved it. Those conversations could never have been replaced.

**Two days later. Alice P.O.V.**

Me and Maureen sat in silence as we waited for the doctor to call my name. The feeling was overwhelming and I wanted to break down and cry right there. I was too young for this. I couldn't even take care of myself. How was I going to take care of a whole new human being? Maureen was being very generous, having Richard drop us off. I just felt horrible about it all. She hardly spoke one word to me; you would think I forced her to come. It reminded me of a mother, being forced by pity to take her daughter to get tested. I was embarrassed. I hoped and prayed that all would go well. Things had to change – and this was like my wakeup call. I hadn't even spoken to Paul yet. Things were going good, but in the back of my heart, I still missed him dearly. Just yesterday I had came to get a pregnancy test, and now I'm thinking of missing someone other than the possible father of my possible child – I'm such a . . . Bitch.

"Alice Michelle."

I held a silent gasp as the young nurse called my name, making me lose my train of thought. I looked over to Maureen who looked a little scared. She turned toward Ritchie who held his best 'Pretend like nothing is going on' face, and got up with me. The nurse led us down the narrow hall and walked us into the small white room that we had just been in yesterday. I sat on the bed and swung my legs back and forth, anxiously waiting for the doctor to come in with my results. I wished so badly that John could be here with me. I wanted everything to be perfect. I wanted to actually _want_ this, but sadly I didn't. Finally the doctor came in.

**John P.O.V**

"Alright! Germany, boys! Down with the Krauts, Up with Beatles!"

My heart was racing faster than I ever thought possible! Germany. Maybe this is a sign that we're finally making it! All I could hear was the muffled noises of beer bottles clashing and the boys shouting.

"C'mon Johnny! It's on the house!"

Clive offered me a drink, and smiled brightly as he joked around and basked in our glory. I looked at all the familiar faces around me. I knew that a chance like this was pretty damn good! The look on George's face made me burst out. The poor fellow looked like he had just seen a ghost. We were like mad animals to him. Finally, he began to ease in and joke around with the others. There was one special thing on my mind right now. I couldn't wait to see Alice. I knew she was gonna be so happy for us! I was so excited to hear what she had to say. Honestly told, I guess I've always looked for the approval from her. If she didn't approve, I felt like what I was doing, was wrong. She assured me of everything. If she thought it was great, it usually was. The one thought going through my head -

_I want so badly to see her bright smile when I invite her out to Germany with us._

**Alice P.O.V**

Maureen and I waited in anticipation as the doctor slowly flipped through the pages on his clip board. I could tell he reached my results because his face went sill and he raised an eyebrow. I prepared for the worse – which was exactly what I got.

"Alice Michelle" He let out a sigh. "The results are all here. You are without a doubt, _pregnant._"

I used all the power within me, not to break down and cry. What was I going to do? I silently thanked the doctor and paced out to the waiting room. The nurse smiled hopefully and I looked away. She had no idea what this felt like. I could tell that Richie knew what was going on. He looked towards Mo with an expression of pity. I felt disgusting to look him in the eye, but I did anyway. He was so sweet for waiting to drop us off back home. He gave me a reassuring hug and we all walked towards the car. There was only one thing on my mind.

_I have to hide this from John!_

**A/N: What did you guys think? Sorry I took awhile. I had tons of studying to do, and when I was finally struck with inspiration, I had to force myself to write. I love writing for you guys, but it's just so hard when I can't find the right words to describe what I want to happen. Please, correct me if I had any grammar mistakes. I don't really look over my work. Hopefully it wasn't too dreadful for you guys! Do me a favor and review? I love hearing from you! Maybe soon, we'll be hearing more of why Alice is so scared to tell John. How do you think she'll react to the Germany proposal?... give me your opinions! **

**Peace&Love!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This story started out as an 'I wonder if people will actually read this' kind of story, and now, 12 chapters later; I have 87 reviews! You are all the best! I really love and appreciate all of your reviews! It puts a smile on my face every time! Power to the people!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize. **

The ride on the way back to John's house was completely silent. For most of the time, Alice kept her head down and stared intently at her hands. She thought of her life and where it was going. It always ended up with the result of nowhere. She looked up to see what Maureen might have been thinking, but Mo's hard stare, only made her feel more ashamed. Finally, the car came to a stop. Alice opened the door, but Mo woke her out of her trance.

"What are you going to do?" Mo's words were said in a hushed serious tone. Alice couldn't understand why she was asking this now.

"When I find out, I'll call you." Alice replied back in the same style tone. She walked to the front window of the car.

"Thanks Richie." He smiled dorkily and waved her goodbye.

Alice walked into the warm home and she tried her best to avoid Mimi who was drinking tea in the kitchen. She quietly walked up the steps and expected to see John when she silently opened the creaky door. He wasn't there. She closed the door and swallowed a lump that was beginning to form in her throat.

**Alice P.O.V**

I held back tears that I could feel were forming in my eyes. Why wasn't he here? Not that it mattered. What was I going to tell him anyway? I was actually beginning to feel relieved that John wasn't here, but I wanted so badly to give him a hug and feel like everything was back to the way we started. The tears started running down my cheek and walked over to the messy bed that He hadn't even bothered to make. I smiled a little. John was usually very clean about his things. I crawled on to his side of the bed and covered myself in his blankets. For a moment, I just stood there, taking in his sweet scent of Peppermint and cigarettes. I could slowly feel myself beginning to fall asleep. I heard the door creak open.

"Alice?" it was John. His voice was quietly sweet. I dried my tears and got out of bed to give him a hug. He was warm and had the scent of alcohol on his clothes, but I could tell that he wasn't drunk.

"How was your day?" I spoke into his neck and played with the greasy tail of his hair. He still had his hands around my waist and his warmth had a way of almost making me forget everything that had happened earlier. _Almost._ Suddenly, he pulled me back and smiled wildly.

"What?" I questioned with a curios smile.

"Germany! We're goin' to Germany, Alice!" He yelled and threw out a high pitched laugh as we waltzed around the room. I laughed along with him and smiled widely. He stopped, still smiling.

"What do ye' think?" I paused for a while, still smiling.

"I think . . . this is amazing! I knew ye' guys would do it!" I hugged him excitedly."When do you leave?"

John hesitated nervously. "Next week."

My face fell. _Next week?_ Maybe this would be for the better? I could feel the tears coming up again and I kept holding him tight until I could gain control of myself. I put on a sweet smile and a drew myself back.

"So soon. I'll miss you." I sighed and looked down at my feet. The tears kept threatening to come up. John softly shook my hips so that I would look at him.

"Come with me." He smiled softly and nudged me. I knew where this was going, and given the situation, I knew what I would have to do. All the tears that I had tried so hard to hold back were streaming down my cheeks now. I had to make up some excuse to leave. It would be better for the both of us. I looked up again and stared straight into his eyes. He seemed confused but the smile was still planted on his face. I felt horrible; he must have thought I was crying out of happiness. I myself am just so confused about it all. I tried to speak but my voice was quiet and cracky. I didn't even know what I was saying; it's as if something else is taking over.

"Its Germany, John. . . Go have fun." An unknown tone took over my words and I unwrapped his arms from my sides and walked away to search for my night gown. I couldn't bear to look in his direction, I was unsure of everything at that moment.

**John P.O.V**

"_. . . Go have fun." _ Those last word stung me unexpectedly. Go have fun? I wasn't going to lie, but I was a little pissed off. What was she trying to say? I was so confused. What made me even more angry was the way that she had said them. It was almost sarcastic. As if she was assuming it would happen anyway. As if, she didn't trust me now that I was going to Germany. But I had invited her! How could she just turn me down like that? After all that we had been through. Maybe that's not what she meant? I brushed the side of my face, still awkwardly standing there.

"What are you saying, Alice?" My words came out harsher than they were meant to, but I was eager to get the question across. She turned and wiped her tears with the back of her hand. She did everything but look at me.

"You should have known this wasn't going to work out, with you going to Germany and all. I'm not going to hold you back." Her accent was becoming heavy and she quietly choked out tears.

I was so confused. Hold me back? Why was she doing this? This meant everything to me, and she was throwing it all away like it didn't matter to her at all. "What do you want from me?" My voice was getting cracky and I could hear my own confusion and hurt.

"I don't want anything." She said in a confused tone. I sat next to her on the bed.

"I love you, Alice. Why is it so hard for you to see that I just want to be with you, I just want you to come and experience it all with me? What's been up with you lately? You're not being the same, and it's frustrating me. Now you can't trust me? What is this?" I wanted so badly for her to reassure me with a warm kiss and say that she would come. She looked up and softly pressed her lips against mine. Before she let herself get further, she pulled back. Her eyes were still sad and she looked down at her lap before saying,

"I'm pregnant."

I was speechless and I refrained myself from saying anything. What was I supposed to say? She silently got up and slipped her shoes on. She walked towards the door and looked back at me almost expectantly. I had nothing to say and I stared at her for a long while. She had hurt in her eyes, and I knew that I had caused it. I don't know why, but I was actually angry. She walked out of the room.

And I had let her.

**A/N: Okay, Okay, so it was quite a crummy chapter, but I'm just trying to find the best words to explain what I'm trying to get across, and it's so hard! I hope you guys enjoyed it. (If it's even possible to enjoy a pregnant teenager getting turned down). Any road, I hope you guys don't give up on this hot mess! There's much more to come. Please leave your reviews, and if you do, leave them kindly (:**

**Peace&Love**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: hello dear readers(: I would like to start off with a huge apology for taking so long to update! There has just been so much going on what with school work and tiredness and stress. It's horrible, really. I wish I could have updated sooner! I would also like to take the time to remember George Harrison and all that he's done. He truly was an amazing person and we should be happy that he is no longer suffering. Lastly, I would also like to take the time to honor john Lennon. He died on the 8****th**** of December of 1980, but he spends every day alive in our hearts. R.I.P two beautiful souls.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Beatles or anything else you may recognize. **

**Alice P.O.V**

I silently dried all my tears and closed the door behind me. I wasn't quite sure how I was supposed to be taking all of this. Out of all things that I have ever been hurt by in life, his silence and loss for words is what stung me the most. I didn't even bother to imagine how stupid I must have looked. The only thing I wanted to focus on is what was right in front of me. I walked down the staircase and silently prayed that Mimi hadn't heard anything that had just happened. I kept my head down the whole time and from what I could see, she was nowhere in sight. I walked out of the door and closed it so quietly; you would think I was sneaking out. It was still light outside and so I felt that I would be ridiculous if I ended up in front of Mo's house a few hours after she dropped me off. I let my thoughts escape anywhere so that they wouldn't wander off to John. I just didn't want to think about it any longer until I was alone and free to cry as much as I wanted, because honestly, that's all I wanted to do right now. _Cry. _I let my legs do the walking as my head wondered mindless thoughts. When I finally stopped, I found myself back at Strawberry Fields. I smiled a little. As I walked along the path, I could see all the children running along the grass, pretending to be airplanes and climbing in trees. My mind played around with memories of when I was younger. When all my troubles seemed so far away. I missed the feeling of not having to worry about anything at all. As I smiled and silently laughed at my own thoughts, my mind fell on to my future. I finally realized that I was actually going to have a baby. I couldn't just get rid of it. Well I could, but all of a sudden, I didn't want to. How is that fair at all? Why should it be up to me to decide to end an innocent life before it even see's an inch of light? I sat down by an old tree and pondered my thoughts. This baby was mine, and whether it had a father or not, the only right thing to do, is to raise it right. I sighed. It was going to be a lot. I remembered what it was like not having a parent. How I didn't even remember them anymore and how where ever they were, they had probably forgotten all about me. I imagined my poor child living with people who treat it the same way my uncle treated me. Like trash. I was glad I had somewhere to live and eat, but each night it was paid at the price of a drunken beating or being slammed by harsh words. I began to wonder if all that my uncle had said, was perhaps true. After all, maybe I was only fooling myself. I decided not to think of it any longer. And dried the tears that I hadn't even noticed had been falling on to my cheeks.

I raised my head and admired the beauty of the old grown willow tree. The way it draped over my eyes like some sort of firework. Another memory came to my mind. The last time I was at this willow tree – I was with Paul. My head fell down to my knees and I began to sob all over again.

There was a light tap on my shoulder and I tried to get myself together as I contemplated looking back. When I finally turned around to see who it was, I could feel my eyes turn soft and I half smiled a little. It was Ellie. She had a terrified look on her small face and she quietly sat down beside me, in a cross-legged manner. I t was quiet for a moment and she kept her head down. I could see her struggling to find the right words to say as she played around with her hands. I had finally controlled myself and I turned to look at her. She was such a beautiful little girl. She was the first baby I had seen when I first came to Liverpool. She was adorable. I guess in reality, she was like my very own daughter. I had always been the one to take care of her and she had always been there to cheer me up, even though she never quite understood why I had troubles. One thing for sure, she was the smartest five year old I had ever known. She had just started school and she went on and on with endless rants about things that she didn't really understand, but just picked up. She was definitely an observant little one. I missed so much, sharing a room with her. She was too young to understand anything and I tried so hard to figure out how she must have been feeling now that she was all alone.

"What's wrong, Allie?" She curiously looked up and rocked back and forth. I didn't know what to tell her, I mean, it's not like she was going to be able to understand it. And even worse, I knew that John, Paul and the band were always around and I was scared that whatever I said would accidently slip out.

"Lots of things, honey pie. But it's okay. How are you? What are you doing out here all alone?"

"Eleanor let me come out and play." The little girl sighed and pulled on the straps of her overalls. W sat there talking for a long time about almost everything that could cross a child's mind. To me, she was such a sweetie. I hoped that one day my own child would be that amazing. It was beginning to get dark out and I began walking back to Mo's.

I knocked on the door and words weren't needed. She smiled sympathetically and pulled me into a hug. I cried a little into her shoulder and she led me inside. We sat on the couch and she sat next to me, holding me as I cried into my hands. She was a true sister. When I finally calmed down, she offered me an extra room. Her parents were always sweet and they didn't mind me staying. It was a huge relief. I looked up to mo's mum as my own mum. We laid on the bed and stared at the ceiling together. I had told her everything that had gone through my mind all day.

**3 days later- Alice P.O.V**

Days had come and go. I hadn't left my room at all. I hadn't even spoken to John. Every day was a struggle to get out of bed. I was so tired but I could never sleep. I was always being paraded by thoughts of him. I missed him so much. I was upset at myself, mostly. I just wanted him to be here and most of all; I wanted him to want his baby. My eyes were a little sunken and anyone could tell off the bat, that I hadn't stopped crying in a while. I finally understood that perhaps, it was over between me and John. I led myself to believe that he was never coming back, no matter how much I wanted him to. I was right when I said that it wasn't in the cards.

Over the few days I had here, I came to really acknowledge that this was it; I'm going to be a mum one day. I hadn't even seen the baby, but I was already in love with it. I decided that I should just focus on what I needed to do to be the best could be. I got up out of bed and took a shower. I cleaned the room, and while I was at it, the whole house. I had decided to go back to my normal self. I borrowed one of Mo's dresses and combed my hair into its normal style. Once I was done, I looked over to the clock. It was still early and no one was home. I was all alone. _Might as well get used to it. _I whispered to myself. Just then, there was a knock at the door. I slipped on my black heels and walked down stairs to answer it. I opened the door to a familiar face that I didn't expect. _John._

I stood silent for a moment and looked to my side, avoiding eye contact. A wave of anger passed through me. It was surely something ididnt expect, but now I realized. _He abandoned me for 3 days! He didn't speak a word to me and he knew very well that he didn't just abandon me, when I left; he abandoned his own child too! What makes him think that he can just waltz in as if he was the only one affected!_ I kept my lips pursed and waited for him to speak. When I finally looked up, I met his eyes. They were dark and sunken, as if he hadn't slept at all. He looked like a sad puppy and he played around with the end of his jacket before he spoke.

"Ana..." it was a small whisper and I could tell that he wanted to say more. I closed the door behind me and sat on the porch steps. He sat next to me and there was an awkward moment of silence. Then he finally spoke.

"I needed a little time to think, that's all" I looked into his eyes and saw that he was being sincere. I still didn't say anything, my feelings were mixed again. He scooted closer and grabbed my hand, gently brushing it with his thumb.

"I didn't sleep at all these days, cause 'yer always on my mind. Well not _just_ you." He smirked a little and sighed. "I want things to be okay, but now it's all different. I want you to know that, I'm going to try not to fail this time. I love you." I smiled and all my feelings came back. I had no doubt that John was telling the truth, and a little bit of what he said made me feel special. I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a hug that I have wanted to give him since the day I came back from the doctor's office. He held on tight and dug his face into my hair. Never in a million years would I expect John to be so sweet and caring. I don't think anyone does, but I guess we've been through too much to give up. I trusted John, and all though after the fight, I had my doubts, I realized that it was best for the both of us that we had time to think everything over. It was only fair.

We finally pulled apart and john smiled childishly as if he knew something that I didn't.

"What?" I asked smiling. He played around with his jacket again and looked up into my eyes.

"Well I was actually going to wait 'till after graduation, but I guess now is appropriate. He smiled again and tried to defend himself from who-knows-what. "Now before you say anything, remember that I loved you before I found out about-"He nodded and continued. "And I've thought about it way before too, and I think we should do it, i mean we practically already are. But I don't want to force you. I love you."

"Oh spit it, Lennon!" I joked and nudged his arm playfully. He pulled that famous Lennon-smirk and gently grabbed something out of his leather jacket pocket. I widened my eyes, because I could already tell what it was. He opened the small box and it showed a simple yet elegant and beautiful ring. I smiled and felt like kissing him to death right then and there. I bit my fingers and stared at him with hopeful eyes.

"I love you..." He whispered again as if trying to prove another reason why we should, it was cute how he repeated stuff when he was nervous. Without him even asking, I nodded my head with enthusiasm and flung my arms around him once more. _I felt as if this was it, this was my sign. This was what I was supposed to do._ I kissed him for a second and as he slid the dainty ring on my finger, Paul's name came to mind. I sighed and looked down. _Great. Right back to where we started._ I knew I was going to have to see him sooner or later. . .

****PLEASE READ****

**A/N: Uh-oh! Sorry if that wasn't at all what you expected! Like I said, things have been pretty stressful lately and I tried my best to get down the correct words to describe that point I wanted to get across. In my defense, back then it was sort of like a rule to get married after your bird gets pregnant!(: I just thought it would add to the drama of the whole gist. I tried my best to keep everyone in character, but it's sort of hard when you're writing a Liverpool- time love story with John Lennon in it. There's more drama to come! I know that the strawberry fields part may have been boring, but i just want to show that Ellie is and will be a big part in the story. But perhaps in order to better my writing, you can suggest me a few things in your review (: So I wonder what you prefer... 'Alice Lennon' or perhaps 'Alice McCartney'? Ha-ha and how do you feel about the proposal? Pro Alice-John or con Alice-John? I also just really want your honest thoughts. Please be nice! :) I'm a first- timer here.**

**Peace&Lovee**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hello, hello (: I'm so glad that you are all reading my story, and hopefully enjoying it so far. The other day my friend was telling me how she thought there should be more details on Alice's clothes (she's a fashion freak) and so since I can't describe certain things without being cheesy, I posted some of her fashion choices up on my profile, In case you were curious(: I hope that you enjoy the chapter! If you would like me to post any photos/descriptions of something else you may have read in my story feel free to ask in a PM or Review: D I also placed a poll on a profile which will help me determine the "end" (emphasis on quotations) to this story!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize.**

**Alice P.O.V**

I leaned my head on John's shoulder and played with our hands that were intertwined. We lay on the same porch for about an hour now, just staring at whatever our eyes met. Something about this just felt . . ._ right. _I had kept my mind clear of Paul's name for the most part. I understood exactly what was going on. It was in a midst of love between me and John, and right now, I wasn't going to let anything get between that. Finally I decided to break the silence with a request that had been haunting my mind for awhile.

"Promise we won't tell anyone about the pregnancy?" I said it in a tone that I hadn't intended. It sounded as if I was begging, and I hope he was taking it seriously. He slowly sat up and turned to look at me. I got up with him and turned my head to rest my chin on his shoulder.

"Why shouldn't we tell?"

"I don't feel comfortable with it yet. I don't want anyone to know. Promise?" now my voice had taken on a sort of desperate tone. I could see that he was confused.

"Promise, but don't you think that they'll all find out anyway? I mean I can't hide everything from Mimi and all..." He trailed off. I knew that this was going to spark an unwanted conversation.

"Well, of course we can tell Mimi. I'll need her help with you out in Germany…" I also trailed off purposely. I didn't want to talk about this.

"With _me_ in Germany?" His voice began rising a little. "What am I goin' to do without ye' goin' out there with me, Al? What are you gonna' do out here all alone?"

"Well I promise I'll visit so long as I can, John. I just need to stay here." I could tell that now, both of us were unwanting of this conversation. His face softened and he leaned forward and kissed my cheek softly.

"Okay then." We both smiled. Earlier we had already agreed that it would be better for me to continue staying at Mo's and now, in just a week, I was going to have to deal with leaving him for good for a whole year! I sighed.

A car had stopped in front of the house and I noticed from the corner of my eye, that it was Ritchie and Mo. John looked at me and before I could say anything, he held his hands in surrender.

"Alright, girl time. See you at the cavern then?" I quietly laughed and nodded as he smiled and walked off. Before he left, I seen him raise his eyebrows at Mo, jokingly and I giggled along. She smiled and when she saw that he had left, she ran towards me with Ritchie slowly following behind.

"What happened? What did he say! Did he apologize? Are you back together?" Mo shook me with anticipation to find out what was going on. Me and Ritchie nodded our heads in a jokingly matter.

"I broke up with him, and I never want to see him again!" I joked and laughed at the way her mouth hung open. She roughly nudged my arm.

"Oh come off it, Allie! Please please tell me!" she made puppy eyes and made her way up the stairs to the front door. Finally she noticed that the whole time, I had been holding my hand behind my back. She widened her eyes even though she couldn't see. Ritchie was behind me so I turned to look at him, only to see that he was gesturing the ring on my finger to her. I laughed in fake disbelief and ran into the house. As I ran up the stairs, I could hear her footsteps running after me.

"Alice Michelle what has gone and happened now! Tell me that's not what I think it is!"

"It's not what you think it is!" I smartly answered. I could hear her telling Ritchie to hurry up and I abruptly stopped, catching her off guard and causing us all to crash together. We lay on the floor giggling like school girls until we finally calmed down. I sat up and let out a sigh of relief. Ritchie finally made it to where we were and pointed at my hand. He looked at Mo and stated in an obvious manner,

"She's engaged" I smiled and looked at Mo.

"I'm engaged." I waited for her to answer for a while and I was beginning to think that she wasn't happy about it. Finally her face formed into a smile and she hugged me.

"I knew it! Oh you and John are perfect! "She pulled me back and looked at me seriously."I hate to be the boss around here, but you and Paul are over." I smiled at how motherly she could be sometimes – and irritating, but oh, that's lovely friendship.

"I know, I have to go talk to him today." Mo nodded her head and brushed herself up as we both stood. She walked over to Ritchie who placed his hand firmly around her waist.

"We just came for a little tea. Then we're off to Ritchie's mum's house for dinner."

"Ohhh, Mo! You guys are in loooove" I giggled at how red Ritchie's cheeks were getting. Maureen widened her eyes and giggled into his shoulder. I walked past them and before I left I passed them good wishes.

**Paul P.O.V**

After everything, I had finally gotten my mind off of her. I laid on the couch and waved goodbye to Mike as he went off with my dad to the market. It was just me now, finally some peace around here. There was a ring at the door and mindlessly, I flopped my legs off the couch and made my way to see who it was. I swung the door open and seen – once again – the person whom I always dreaded. Ramona.

"Hey Paulie." She smiled sweetly and walked right past me on to my couch. "Well aren't you going to invite me in for tea?" she joked. I laughed a little. In reality, she wasn't all that bad; I just never knew why she always came around. I didn't really like her. I walked over to where she was and left the front door open for some air.

"And what do I owe the pleasure?" I asked skeptically. She perked up and flipped her hair behind her shoulder.

"I just came by to thank you for telling me about Stu and all" She leaned back on the couch in an annoyingly comfortable manner and continued "I'm sure we're gonna go steady tonight." I raised my eyebrow when there was a knock at the door I quickly turned to see who it was. It was Alice. She awkwardly stood in the door way and stared between me and Ramona.

"I, uh, I was just checking to see if anyone was here…" She trailed off and I could tell that she was confused with her own choice of words. I turned to Ramona who also had her eyebrows raised. I looked at her, expecting that she would leave but she just sat there. Finally I think she caught on and she flattened her dress as she got up to leave.

"Ill see you tonight at the Cav, Paul." She smirked and nearly pushed Alice on her way out.

"Oh, sorry, Al. Come on in." I smiled trying to hide my nervousness as best as I could. She slowly walked in and sat herself on the edge of the piano bench. For a while, we just stood there in awkward silence. She finally spoke up.

"So, you're uh, with Ramona?" I stared at her for a few seconds before shaking my head no.

"No, shes going with Stu. She just came to talk about something."

"Oh." She began to twirl the ends of her hair, and that's when I noticed it. She was wearing a ring. I sighed and before words were even spoken, I could feel an overwhelming stab of pain. I didn't even want to look at her anymore. I looked down at my hands and she must have noticed that I noticed.

"Paul I-"

"You're engaged to him, aren't you?" My voice was rising higher on its own, I had so much I wanted to say, I just couldn't find the words.

"I'm sorry." I looked up because her sudden change of tone caught me off guard. She basically whispered it, and she held her head down in shame. I felt a little guilty for raising my voice and now I had to face it. Whatever we had was obviously done.

"Yeah, well I'm sorry too." I walked over to the door and waited for her to leave. She got up from the bench and walked over to the door with her hands held together. She walked in front of me and gave me a soft smile. I couldn't even imagine what face I was making towards her. She held my shoulders and pulled me close. I wanted to kiss her like she was mine right then and there, but she wasn't. She stared at me straight in the eyes for a moment. She was beginning to tear up, but I pretended not to notice. She leaned in and slowly brushed her lips against mine, as I pulled her in to mesh them together. Her lips tasted like honey and I wanted so badly to go further, she slowly and gently pulled apart from me, but still kept close. I noticed her begin to cry a little and I brushed her cheek with the edge of my thumb. She kissed my cheek and moved to my ear, only to whisper,

"I'm sorry Paul. This is it." She let go, and I watched her leave.

**Alice P.O.V**

I didn't think that letting go of Paul would be so hard. I had discovered feelings that I hadn't even known were there, until the moment I kissed him. It was time to forget about all that now. It was over for good and there was nothing that I could do about it. I pulled a little napkin out of my bag and wiped my lips. I wanted to forget everything that had just happened, and I felt the easiest way of doing that, would be wiping away the feeling he left on me. The day was starting to get darker. I dried my tears and put on a happy face. Tonight was the last show at the Cavern before the boys went off to Germany. I wasn't going to ruin this for John. I strode over to his house, because I had left all my clothes there. Now that I didn't live with John, it felt so funny walking up the steps to his door. It was like old times, when I would get butterflies in my stomach. To think- soon enough I would be a Mrs. Lennon! How crazy is that? I giggled to myself as I knocked on the door. John quickly opened it and pulled me in by the arm, as he kissed wherever his lips found the way to. I laughed as he suddenly pulled his lips from my neck and gently kissed my lips for a while. I pushed him away jokingly and threw my arms around his neck. He really had a way of making me forget everything.

"Allie, Alice, we still have time – "He jokingly pointed at his wrist as if it held an invisible watch. I finished his sentence before he could go on, "To get dressed." He rolled his eyes playfully and led me upstairs. My suitcase was still in the exact same place in the middle of the room. I walked over and pulled out a white button down shirt, some tights, and a high waist leather skirt. John sat on the bed and whistled every time I would pull an article of clothing out from my bag. I smiled at him and teasingly un zipped the back of my dress. He stared at me wildly, and I giggled at the idea that he thought he might actually get something out of this. I pulled a lennonesque smirk and continued about taking my clothes off normally and putting my new ones on. He sighed in fake frustration and fell back on the bed in exaggeration. He sat up and I leaned against his dresser and played with his thick black glasses that were lying there. I could see that he was watching me so I put them on and made fishy faces in his direction. He laughed to himself and I smirked again and walked right past him to grab his leather jacket and put it on. He laughed again, only this time, sarcastically louder. Without words, I strode out of the room wearing his glasses and his leather jacket. I giggled to myself when I looked back and noticed that he was following me around like a puppy. I enjoyed the small moments when I felt like _I _was in charge. My guilty fun was over and I turned around and smiled.

"Alright, alright. Are you going to lead me to this place or what?" I joked, but honestly, I could never find my way to the cavern from Johns house. He laughed his loud bird laugh and ran to me. I couldn't help but think, how perfect everything was beginning to be.

**At the Cavern. Alice P.O.V**

The boys were almost ready to go up on stage and I kissed John good luck. The whole time we had spent there, I had avoided all eye contact with Paul. As john went to quickly tune his guitar, I stared at Stu and Ramona. She couldn't keep her hands off of him and she kissed him with every chance she had. I smiled. It sort of reminded me of when I first met Jake. Those days were long gone, and even though half of my memories were bad, I still liked to remember the good times. I was pulled from my train of thought when they all ran out on to the stage. Now it was just me and Ramona hanging out back here. I was actually sort of glad. Now I wasn't the only person who got to sit back stage. Or at least not the only girl. I saw this as my opportunity to get to know her better than I already did. I saw that she was walking up to me and I smiled as sweetly as I could. She smiled back, but there was something weird in the way she did. Without warning, she immediately went into conversation about John.

"You guys are amazing together." I thought it to be weird that she would say that.

"Thanks. You and Stu are really cute ya' know." She smiled and turned her head.

"You know, I'm not naïve, Alice. Don't you think johns going to get mad?" I wasn't sure what she was getting at, but I was definitely taken back by her change of attitude.

"what do you mea – "

"I know about you and Paul." She narrowed her eyes and I had nothing to show but silence.

**A/N: good? Boring?how was it? I tried to do a Regina George on Ramona but she came out more as a Lindsay lohan. Whatever that means. So I guess this chappie was kind of mixed. What do you think is gonna happen! I added a little bit of drama that will surely have a big effect on the story in the future, so don't worry, I'm not just pullin' your leg here. Um, incase you need hel picturing Ellie (I know shes not in this chappie but im just saying) think of her as Heather Eastman—McCartney. Gosh she is just such a little darling! Theres a picture of her and how I imagine she looks up on my profile(: please be nice and give me your honest opinion in a review(: if I get 8 reviews, ill try to update by Thursday!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Blame it on finals! I know that I said Thursday, but I honestly had too much to do. Life sucks sometimes. Obla- di, Obla- da. Before I start, I want to say Happy Christmas! As a gift you should readxreview the awesome stories 'Love is all you need' (I wrote half of the latest chappie on that!):D And you should also read 'I call your name' cause ill be makin' an appearance in it quite soon! (Look at me, promoting stories, and what-knots!) So I was looking back on the first chappies and I realized that I made Alice seem like quite a 'Mary-Sue' at the beginning! Ha! Forgive me for that one.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Beatles or anything else you may recognize**

**Alice P.O.V**

"_I know about you and Paul." She narrowed her eyes and I had nothing to show but silence._

I wasn't about to spill everything out to this girl. It had taken so much from me just to tell Mo! Technically, me and Paul were over (if we had even ever started). I threw my head back in a fake laughter that I hoped she would believe. I could see her staring at me for awhile and then she smiled and threw her hands up in play- surrender.

"Okay, then." She rolled her eyes playfully and threw herself onto the couch that always stood backstage. I was a little confused on how the conversation started – and ended so quickly. Of course, that didn't stop the room from feeling so much tension that you could cut it with a knife. How did she know? Was she just joking? I decided to leave the subject alone, even though the questions were killing me on the inside. I eagerly waited for the guys to finish playing, so that John and me could have some alone time.

That was the moment I dreaded the most. 'Alone time'. I wanted so badly to forget all about it and to spend our time alone, like we used to, but that was over. It was time to get serious. After all, John would be leaving soon and we had plenty to discuss. For all I know, by the time he gets back from Germany, I could have a child! How crazy is that! I could feel my head beginning to throb, and I decided to put all my thoughts aside. I could hear the band bidding goodnight and I finally realized that the dreadful moments were only coming closer and closer. My heart pounded with the clash of steps that I could hear running towards backstage. First Stu came out and lazily threw himself next to Ramona, Then Pete, who looked like he was going to drop dead with the Dark circles that had grown around his eyes, then Paul – who I refused to look at. He made me get this weird feeling in my stomach – a feeling that made me feel guilty to even have for him. Then came John_. I know what you're thinking. What makes him so special? After_ _all, it's pretty obvious that you have a thing for Paul, right? Wrong. Perhaps what you don't understand, is that I chose one over the other for a reason. John is different. I still blush every time I see him, I still play with his hair and our kisses still seem to last forever. Perhaps the real question should be, what makes Paul so special? Everything. – _I stopped trying to convince myself that who I chose was right, and mentally slapped myself for even letting myself fall back into the same hole that I had started in. _Everything_ made Paul special? Did I really just think that? I don't think that one will ever be able to comprehend the pain it is to have your own mind play tricks on you. My mind has been doing it for as long as I can remember. I immediately convince myself of something and before I can fully grasp it, I'm on to something else. It was as if I have many parts to my decision making, and have to use one part to convince the others before it turns into an all-out war. I can't even begin to count how many times I've lost.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by a quick soft kiss.

"How where we?" John smiled cheekily and stared at me as he picked random strings on his guitar. I smiled. I'm sure that 99.9 percent of me was completely head over heels in love with him. Just one more part that needs convincing. . .

"Amazing, great, fab, and all those other pimply hyperboles!" I joked around and played with the sleeve of his leather jacket that I had kept on this whole time. He pulled off a twitchy wink and walked over to put his gear away. We had already both agreed that we were going to talk right after the show. I could tell that he dreaded it just as much as I did, but it was something that just simply had to be done. I could see that Paul was packing up to leave too and Pete was just standing around with his arms crossed against his chest and dozing off against the wall. I snapped a picture and I noticed Paul staring at me out of the corner of my eye. I tried to play it off like I wasn't paying attention, but he got up with his stuff packed and mumbled something about Good Bye. Before I could say bye back, he held his hand up to everyone and left. I shrugged it off and John came from behind.

"Watch this. . ." I raised an eyebrow and he snuck over to Pete and yelled in his ear.

"Pete watch that fookin' truck!" And before I could even catch his expression, John pulled me off and we were giggling like school kids. Pete came out from the back and had the silliest expression I could ever see on his face.

"Just watch, Lennon!" We smiled back and Pete waved it off, laughing at our ridiculousness. We walked through the small crowded club and finally got to the door that would lead us out of that claustrophobic mess.

We walked down the streets as they began to get darker and I remembered something.

"Can we stop by Nems right quick, Brian told me he would have something for me." John shrugged and led me down the way to the record store. _Years that I've been here and I've grown a scouse accent – yet I still can't find my way to work!_ Apparently it wasn't too far away. The store was on the verge of closing up when Brian saw me through the window. He smiled and greeted us.

"'ello, Mr. Epstein." I smiled and John wandered to the side to look at the records.

"– Brian." He retorted, referring to the fact that I almost never called him that.

"Right, Mr. Epstein." I jokingly saluted and winked at him.

"One of these days!" he joked and walked towards the back. I sat myself cross-legged on the counter and waited for him to come out. John came over and leaned on his elbow next to me. He was about to say something, when Brian came out.

"I've got a gift I know you'll love, shipment came in today!" he held something behind his back and I eyed him carefully with a smirk.

"If you'd do your job, you'd know what the shipment is!" he joked and pulled a few records out from behind. I laughed at his sarcasm and eyed the records with curiosity.

"They're American! Some real good music, I hear." John seemed to be more attracted to the records, than he was to me. He reached out for them like a child and read the names out loud.

"We've got some, Elvis!" he put the records on the counter. "Oh Elvis, please be mine, oh!" he did his best Elvis fan girl expression and went back to read the records. Brian and I both nodded our heads with a smile.

"Oh looky looky, we've got Rosie here! Ever heard her, love? I dedicate this one to you." He smiled and did a wide wink. I'd never heard of her and I was curious to see what he was talking about. I jumped off the counter and turned to Brian who seemed to be eyeing john amusedly.

"Thanks, Bri! I really love 'em. Gonna pop 'em in as soon as I getta chance." I gave him a hug and kissed his cheek.

"Alright, no prob. You two have a good night." Me and John both left in high spirits and walked towards his house. When we finally got there, it was pitch black out, and freezing! He quietly opened the door and we ran upstairs to his bedroom. When we got inside it was warm and cozy. It was just like I had always remembered it. He sat on the edge of his bed and gestured to the record player. I took out the record he said that he had dedicated to me; and smiled. I hadn't even heard the song and ialready loved it. The title was 'Angel Baby'. I slowly put it on and took off the leather jacket and thick black framed glasses that belonged to john. The music began to play and I smiled. I let my hands pretend to strum a guitar, to the rhythm at the beginning and slowly rocked back and forth to John.

_It's just like heaven, being here with you. . ._

John had his eyes closed as he also rocked to the steady slow beat of the song. My heart was racing and it felt like the first time we said we loved each other. I steadily sat myself on his lap and tucked my face into his shoulder. He kissed my neck and wrapped an arm around my waist. I was becoming overwhelmed – in a good way. I enjoyed our special moments like this. They made my heart want to explode. He traced small lines on my leg and we didn't even bother to use words to explain what I knew we were both feeling. After awhile he began humming to the song – our song. How cliché was that? Very. But when you have something so special, it's like you really don't care. After all, John and Mo were really the only people I had since my time here. I knew what John was like outside of our little love box. He could be mean, dirty, and rude. But whenever I was around him, I got to see rareness. I saw his intelligence and his deepness. I wondered how many had actually gone this far – but I never bothered to ask. It was just he and I.

_No one could love you, like I do. . ._

The song came to an end and John laughed a little. I looked up at him

"Hm?"

"I can feel your heart, ready to explode."

**John P.O.V**

The song came to an end. It pulled me out of my thoughts and I came back to reality. She was sitting on my lap and I mindlessly traced lines on to her legs. I could feel her heart ready to burst and I laughed a little. It reminded me of our first time.

"Hm?" She looked up at me and I could feel my heart also speed up. Maybe it was something else, but her eyes always seemed to be open to who she really was. The way she looked up at me made me want physically love her. She was different than any other. She didn't look at me in a way that was trying to cock an eyebrow like a smart arse. Instead, she looked at me like I was something special. Almost adoring in a way.

"I can feel your heart, ready to explode." She turned a deep shade of red, but didn't turn away.

"Yeah, well . . ." She whispered and I took my chance to kiss her. Her lips tasted like honey. I traced them with my own and listened to her whispers.

"I love your thoughtfulness. . . Your sweet kisses," I smiled against her lips as she listed what she loved. She always had a way of complimenting me when I was at my worst. I wasn't going to let her keep doing it, and before she spoke again, I opened her mouth with mine and gently caressed her. She moved her hand from the back of my neck, up, to run her fingers through my hair. It sent shivers down my spine. I moved from her lips, to her cheek down to her collar bone, but she stopped me with a curious question.

"What are we doing?"

**A/N: Yeah, yeah, so it wasn't the most dramatically thing in the world, I get it! I just wanted to emphasize John and Alice's love a little more. And I decided to leave it off on sort of a little cliff hanger. I just want to add to you Paul lovers – don't worry! There will be plenty more of him to come up in the story! Trust me. So I also wanted to apologize. I know that John seems like such a softie in this story, but my biggest fear is that if I try to make him sound more John- Like, then I'll just end up making him sound like a bit**y chick on pms. That's why I just decide to make him every girls dream?(; Got a problem with it! No flames please lol. Review Review Review! You know I love it(: Happy Christmas! Oh and if you were wondering what song that was, it was 'Angel Baby' By: Rosie and the Originals. (I know that in reality, its one of John's favorites) :D**

**PEACE&LOVE**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: Hello (: How are you all doing? I hope that you all had a great Christmas – or whatever people celebrate! Ha-ha. I don't have much to say. All I ask is that you please kindly review (: feel free to add anything you would like to see or any criticism. No flames por favor (please).**

**War is over! If you want.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else that you may recognize. **

**Alice P.O.V**

"_What are we doing?"_

I mentally slapped myself for asking such a dumb question. Obviously I knew what we were doing! Great, now I ruined a perfect moment! Only I would do that – wait. _Why_ did I do that again? Oh, right. We weren't supposed to be doing this! As much as I want to, I know that there are responsibilities that needed to be settled.

"Well, you see when a man loves a woman. . ." John trailed off and I realized that I was actually listening to his ridiculousness as if it was serious. I began giggling.

"No! I mean . . . we have things to settle first! Business before pleasure, love."

"Is that all that our baby is to you! Business?" John asked in a mock – hurt voice. We stared at each other and stifled a laugh.

I gently made my way off of his lap. I stood up to smooth out my skirt and I could tell that everything was finally beginning to dawn on him. He stared down at his hands. I sat beside him on the bed and contemplated what words I should start off with. What may have been a good 30 seconds of silence, seemed like forever. Finally, he was first to speak.

"We'll have to tell Mimi soon." I sighed. It was just one more thing to add to the list of things I dreaded doing.

"She'll hate me, John. After all, she lets me in her home and I go and get pregnant." John groaned and threw himself on the bed and rested his head on his crossed arms.

"Well it's not like you did it all on your own. I don't think she'd be too angry. Nothin' we can do about it now." I paid close attention to the tone in his voice. It pained me just to hear him talk. I knew that of all things, he definitely did_ not_ want this. Who would? We're young, he's in a band and he's getting a big break in Germany – but now he has to worry about growing up too fast and perhaps losing all he's wanted. Why? Because of me. In the end, the plain truth was that this was my entire fault. He was just forced to ride along. That was the last thing I wanted. So I decided to tell him what he deserved to hear.

"You don't have to do this. I don't want you to do this." He stared back dumbly with an eyebrow raised.

"Don't have to do what?" He put an arm out and patted the spot next to him. I laid in his arms.

"You don't have to. . . Do anything. Just go to Germany and I'll. . ." I hesitated for a moment. As much as I didn't want to say this, I had to. It was only fair to John. "I'll give it up."

There was a moment of silence. Longer than the first one, and held much more tension. He seemed to be considering the thought. Before he answered, he pulled me closer into his chest and I could feel tears begin to well up in my eyes.

"You'd be okay with that?" He gently shook my shoulder as if to make sure I was listening. _This was it._ I could tell him how I really felt about it all, or I could lie and make both of our lives a hell of a lot easier. I had almost no time to think and as much as I wanted to have this chance to talk about how we were going to raise 'daddy's little girl' or 'the king of the house', I just couldn't. It was a stupid idea. The pain of having to say 'yes' to his question was so thick, but I just had to do it. Without words, I nodded into his chest and held on to him tighter. John was everything to me. If making him happy meant having to give this up, then I just have to do it.

"There'll be plenty of time to raise a family when we're ready. But we're just too young for it now, right?" I whispered gently against his body. I used the words to make him feel better, but for the most part, they were my way of making me feel better about this whole thing.

"You're only seventeen, love. We're young and we carnt be naïve about something so serious." He slowly got up and pulled me up with him. My tears were beginning to fall heavily from my eyes and my sobbing was slowly becoming louder. I fully sat up with him and he stared at me with sorrowful eyes. I refused to look at him, but he smoothly ran his fingers through my hair, trying to catch my attention. I looked up at him – not a single tear in his eye. I tried everything to hide the small anger that was slowly building up inside of me. It was as if he didn't care at all! But what was I supposed to expect? After all, if he'd have had it his way, we wouldn't even be in this situation, huh? I guess it's true what they say – The heart almost never breaks evenly.

"Are you sure this is what you want" No. This isn't what I want at all. John quietly awaited my answer. He was speaking as sweetly as he could. I couldn't even imagine how emotionally uncontrolled I must have looked to make him speak that way. I knew that he was only asking to make sure, but in all honesty I was sure that he silently prayed that this_ was_ what I wanted. I wasn't going to be a bigger burden about the situation. He needed security, and so I had to give it to him."

"Yeah, this is what I want." I whispered back making sure not to look at him in the eye. He gently touched my chin with his finger and turned me so that I was facing him.

"you know I love ye' right?" I smiled. As hard as a hit this was, I loved him and I couldn't deny it. I moved in closer to him and softly kissed his cheek. Without moving from our comfortable state, I whispered,

"I should be asking _you_ that question." He laughed a little.

"Want ta' know how ta' prove it?"I softly nodded and he moved his lips closer to mine. I counted each breath I took before he kissed me. It started off with a soft mesh and slowly rose higher and higher. I lazily hung my arms around his shoulders and put all my effort into his touch. He was mesmerizing and his lips created a special rhythm with mine – unlike any other. For the long while that our lips collided, I had forgotten about everything. Before I had even realized it, I was pressed against him. He had one hand running through my hair, and the other was rubbing my thigh. We softly parted lips and before anything went further, I caught sight of the clock on his night stand. I sighed and sat up on top of him. He sighed too.

"Hmm?" he said it kind of aggravated, and I was beginning to become aggravated too. There was always something getting in the way of John and me.

"Its nine forty five and I have to be back at Mo's by ten . . . curfew."

I mindlessly slapped my hand against his thigh and began to blush at the thought of what could have happened if it weren't for the time. Mo's folks, Joseph and Flo were the nicest parents in the world. They were the cherry on top of me and Mo's friendship. Because of them I was given a lot. They treated me like their own daughter – and unfortunately, that meant having the same rules as their daughter. But it was only fair.

I made my way off of John and ran my fingers through his hair, making sure that it was perfect and not all messy. Now that we weren't as close, I was beginning to remember how angry I had gotten at him. I thought it was better to hold my tongue back. Soon he would be gone and I wouldn't want to spend the little time we had together, fighting. He slipped his jacket on me and intertwined our hands together.

The walk back to Mo's was dead silent. I tried to make it seem like everything was okay but I knew that even he could tell that it wasn't. Soon enough we were on Maureen's front porch, with five minutes to spare. He smirked and turn to kiss me, but my body involuntarily turned away from him. He sighed and looked up.

"So are we just going to pretend I don't exist now? What's wrong?" I stared at him, but I didn't say anything. I wasn't trying to be stubborn or anything, I just honestly couldn't think up what to say. He raised an eyebrow and held my other hand.

"I still want to marry ye'. Just wanted to make sure you knew." He turned to walk back home and I began feeling bad. It wasn't fair to be ignoring him, I'm sure that to some extent, this was hurting him too. I ran after him and tugged his arm. He turned with that famous Lennon – smirk. I scoffed and hugged him tightly. He kissed my neck and I quickly let him go and ran back to the porch. I blew him a kiss and hurriedly walked through the door before I was late. I thought of how fake everything was becoming. That hug, that kiss I blew. All fake. How on earth could it have possibly been real? He was basically fine with the idea of a mother giving up her child – for his own benefit! Maybe I was being too one-sided. Either way, there was one thing I had just realized. I created this beautiful concept and I had – in a matter of minutes – decided to destroy it! For someone else! As much as I knew I loved John, I also knew that this was wrong. If giving life to something amazing, meant hiding from someone I loved, I was going to do it. This baby is mine. I'm going to keep it. And like that, I burst into tears again. Maybe he was right. I'm only seventeen. Was I being too naïve about this?

**A/N: So we're beginning (slowly) to see a more protective side of Alice. She seems to be going back into her shell, huh? I made this chapter so that you could get the more obvious concept of how she's feeling about the baby and all, but I think it came out more mixed than anything! It's a horrible rollercoaster of preg. Hormones and John Lennon! This was hard to write because I had to put John out there as a little selfish and Alice as a little selfish too. Maybe they'll realize a few secrets about each other sooner or later! Read and Review. I know this wasn't the best but I really had to just get this point in the story for whats to come next.**_** (: Do you think Alice is in way over her head? **_**Tell me in**__**a review! Sorta a cliff hanger! No flames please**

**Peace&love**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I would like to give a special thanks to each and every one of you! I would especially like to thank Hoshi Nagaiki, IndigoNowhereGirl & xxPaulMccartneylovexx for leaving such awesome reviews! It's nice to hear opinions and ideas!**_** I like my reviews long!(: **hint hint. **_**Any road, I would just like to say, that this chapter was definitely influenced by the reviews I've gotten! *wink wink** Please don't kill me after you read this! Happy 2012!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Beatles or anything else that you may recognize. Blab blabs la.**

**Alice P.O.V**

I lazily walked up the staircase as I tried to dry my tears and dodge the meandering thoughts of John and I that kept haunting my mind. I could hear Maureen playing the same old records. A soft glow shone through her bedroom door and I highly contemplated whether I should or should not talk to her about everything that went on today. Mo and I always told each other everything, and I knew that at some point I would tell her, but lately I feel like I just have too many problems going on. It was actually beginning to embarrass me. It was a new obstacle and issue every little while and I feel that maybe, she just might be getting tired of having to listen to all of it. After a long while's hesitation, I decided to just go straight to my bedroom. All I wanted was to have a little time to try to figure things out for myself. I quietly shut the door behind me. I scoped the room out and realized that I still hadn't brought my bags over from John's house. I moaned in frustration and threw myself on to the neatly made bed. I kicked my heels off and wrapped myself under all of the warm blankets. I was extremely tired but there was absolutely no way that I could possibly sleep. I had so many things that I had to think about.

The first thing that ran through my mind was the baby. I could already picture the little bugger! I wanted so badly to have it in my arms already. Just to hold it and love it forever. What I wanted even more was for John to be there with me. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't picture him there.

"Allie?" Mo peeked through the door and smiled when she saw that I was there. I sat up in my bed and she walked over to sit at the edge of the bed. She seemed so happy. "How did it go, Al?" She asked with a gleam of hope in her eye. I avoided the question and nudged her.

"No, no, no. How did it go with you and Richard?" I asked with a twitchy John – impression wink. She laughed and played around with the hem of her dress.

"His mum is very sweet. She and I baked a cake for dessert and Ritchie said it was the best he's ever eaten." I smiled at how in love I could tell Mo was. She had had boys come and go, but with Ritchie, I could tell it was different. I absolutely adore the both of them together!

"Oh! And will Ritchie be making a guest appearance at the Cox 'ousehold any time soon?" Maureen smiled.

"_Very_ soon." She retorted. I let out a small giggle. After a moment of silence she began eyeing me suspiciously.

"Don't hold back, Aliie. Spit it out, I want all the details!" she wagged her eyebrows jokingly. I let out a sigh. I was going to tell her at some point. I might as well do it now. It's not like it could get any worse.

"_**I'm keeping it, Mo."**_ The words immediately left my lips and a smile grew on to my face when I realized how good it felt to say something I actually wanted. I could tell that a smile was beginning to curl at her lips too. She pulled me into a giant hug and rocked me back and forth.

"That's so great! It's nice to hear that John is going to step up! I'm sure he'll be the best, John is one of those pride kinda guys, ya' know." I scoffed and softly pulled away from her embrace.

"He doesn't know." Maureen's face went into a quick confusion.

"What do you mean he doesn't know?" She scooted a little closer to me and I bit my lower lip and thought of how to tell her. The best way, was to just spit it out.

"He thinks that I'm going to give it up. Can you believe that? He tried to break it down as if it was the easiest thing ever! Now, I'm not saying he's the bad guy, but I just can't, Mo! I love it too much already. I'm attached and I just can't give it up. But, he just doesn't understand! I think that in reality, he doesn't want to understand. He knows that this is a big responsibility and right now his only priority is the band. I can't help but think that, that's exactly how it should be. John doesn't deserve this. I'm keeping the baby, but I'm not going to tell him. That way, he won't have to feel the heavy weight of a child on his shoulders forever. I'll raise it meself." Mo raised an eyebrow and brushed he lip with her thumb.

"Alice, you know that means you'll never see John again after he leaves for Germany. No wedding, No visits, No nothing! Never again. . ." Mo trailed off and I nodded my head in agreement.

"I know, Maur. But I guess I love I'm too much to keep him. I'm not going to force him to work at the docks and come home late at night just to put food on the table for me and the baby. I'll get another job and do what's right. John has the right to live his life. After all he's been through, he deserves it." Mo had a look of hurt and I tried to search her eyes to figure out why.

"What about all that you've been through, Alice! You can't just take the fall for him, it's not fair. It takes two, ya' know! I honestly can't believe it. We had our whole lives planned out. We were going to travel and let loose after high school, remember! Now I get it, people get married and have kids and the whole works but, you said it yourself! You said that it was stupid to sell your youth to something you could have after all the fun. What now, you're giving up?" She nodded her head in frustration and began pacing. That's when I realized that she was all wrong - I used to be all wrong!

"Mo, why would I put my child through what I've been through? For a little fun? My fun was long gone after we left the clinic that day. And frankly, I think this is what I need. I need to fix the mistakes that I've been through. I would hate for my child to live in an orphanage. Do you know how many times I've cried over the fact that my parents are dead and my family doesn't want me? Plenty of times. And I can't even begin to tell you how sickening it was having to hear little Ellie cry about it every night back at strawberry fields." My voice was rising and I could hear the harshness in my words. Mo stopped pacing and sat next to me again.

"If that's how you feel – if you really think it's for the best, then I understand. I'm here, okay. And I'll be the best babysitter ever for whenever Mummy is on her late shifts!" She said the last sentence in a sing – song voice. I gave her a thankful hug and felt my eyelids grow heavy. She yawned and got up from the bed.

"Well I'm off for some sleep. You should get some too, love." I smiled and waved her off, but before she left, she stopped.

"I never thought you and John would be like this. I can see you love him. Do realize that if it's the last time you'll spend with him, you should spend it right. I'll cover for you tomorrow night." And she was off with a wink. I giggled and dug myself further into the blankets. She was right. This was the last time I would have to spend with John. After this, I would never see him again! I had to show him how much I loved him. I mentally slapped myself for being so rude to him earlier. If I was never going to see him again, he has to know how much I care. I could feel the corner of my eyes begin to well up and the tears began streaming down my face like a waterfall.

I slowly opened my eyes and was met with a thick haze of sunlight that burned through me. I quickly shut my eyes to prevent a headache and slowly got up out of bed. The house was very quiet. I looked over to the clock. It was already twelve in the afternoon. I was finally beginning to adjust to waking up. I walked over to the door and slightly tripped over one of my heels. I awkwardly giggled at my reflexes and trudged down the stairs. I walked into the kitchen on my tippy toes in my best attempt to avoid the cold floor. There was a note on the fridge from Flo, saying that she and Joseph went to go visit her mum in London until Saturday. Mo was probably out with Ritchie already. I searched the fridge for anything that may have seemed the least bit appetizing. I found nothing. I woke up this morning, with a whole new sense of things. You'd swear, I had super senses. I giggled at the thought of baby effects. And sighed moodily at the thought of morning sickness – something I deeply dreaded. There was a slow knock at the door. I yawned and walked over to answer it. Without looking, I yanked the door open. My lips curled up and I laughed a little. John looked extremely uncomfortable, carrying a dozen of my favorite flowers. Before he could speak, I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him all over his face. At first he probably didn't know what was going on, and then he caught on and hugged me close to him and kissed my cheek.

"Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!" I basically begged for forgiveness and looked up at him with a mock – pout. He threw his head back and laughed.

"I was comin' over to say the exact same thing!" I laughed and lovingly pulled him in by his arm. As I closed the door behind me, he sat himself on the couch. I took the flowers and dug for an old vase to put them in.

"They're beautiful, John!"

"Wouldn't ask any less for a lady such as ye'self." I felt my cheeks burning up as I placed the flowers in cold water. I walked over to where he was and he held out a bag.

"I noticed ye left yer bags last night so I brought over one of yer dresses to get in." I smiled at the cute gesture.

"Thanks Johnny baby, I'll go up and change." I said in my best attempt at an American accent. He giggled and I ran upstairs to change. When I took the clothes out, I noticed the red dress. It was the same dress that I was wearing that _one_ night in Blackpool. I had fixed it, but I still couldn't bring myself to wear it. The dress only brought back horrible memories of what could have happened if John didn't show up. I figured it was time I get over it. Obla – di, Obla – da, right? I sighed and slipped into the dress. After I washed up and applied a little eye liner, I ran back down the stairs. John was messing with all of Flo's little knick-knacks. He turned when he heard my footsteps and crossed his arm with mine. We left the house and walked down the warm streets.

"Where to, mister. Johnny?" He quickly turned and kissed my neck.

"I was hopin' we could pick up where we left off last night, hm?" His words tickled me and I lovingly nudged him.

"Good cause I was hopin' the same" I joked along and he let out a bird laugh.

"Were you really, Alice baby?" He quipped in his version of my fake American accent. I scoffed.

"Shut it Lennon, or you'll be lucky that I'm even letting ye 'old me 'and." I quipped back in my impression of his high toned liverpudlian accent. He rolled his eyes and jokingly yanked my arm on to his front porch. I faked a laugh similar to his and walked up the steps to his room. He quickly cut in front of me as if it were a race and stopped before he reached the door.

"After you, mi lady."

"Oh Johnny, you're such a charmer!" I spoke in a high pitched fan girl voice.

"Its what I do." He answered back coolly and combed the side of his hair. I scoffed and walked into the cozy room. I slipped out of my heels and checked y hair real quick in the mirror. John closed the door and walked over to where I was. I pretended not to notice him from the corner of my eye as he slowly kissed up and down my neck. I stopped what I was doing and turned my head to the side as his kisses moved lower. I began giggling nervously all over again and he slowly moved backup and brushed his hands on either side of my thigh. I turned around so that I was facing him. He removed any space that was between us and continued to move one hand up and down my waist.

_Hold me close and tell me how you feel, tell me love is real. . ._

I began kissing up and down his neck and I could feel his hands move higher and higher. I moved my lips from his neck up to his cheek. He turned so that I would kiss his lips and I moved my lips back and forth, not touching his at all. I giggled as I slowly teased him; finally he caught me off guard with a kiss that could send any girl into the stars. The kiss lasted forever and had a spark with every touch. I could feel both of our patience beginning to thin. We jokingly waltzed our way over to the bed. Before I could catch my breath enough to laugh, he closed my thoughts with another kiss. This one had more force but it was still as sensitive as the first. I ran my fingers from his neck up to his hair. I could feel his hands softly stroking the side of my arched back. He made a slick attempt to un button my dress. As I removed his shirt and pants. Soon, he eliminated the full space between us. It was breathless, unlike any other feeling; it was a feeling of ultimate expression of love. I tore my own mind to shreds with the idea that I would never feel this feeling, this weight, this love, ever again. Because sooner or later I would have to be plotting my method of leaving John Lennon for good. I decided to forget about it all until it was absolutely necessary. I came back to reality and listened to the sync of the moans and heavy breathing.

John rolled on to the side and scoffed. He looked over to me and raised an eyebrow.

"Good show, mate." I rolled my eyes and hit him playfully.

"You're not so bad ye'self." He winked and rested his head above my chest.

"Love ye' Anna." I ran my hand soothingly up and down his arm. I whispered back,

"Love ye' Johnny baby."

After a soft moment of silence, he tucked his head into my neck and we both fell asleep.

I woke up at a quarter till eight. John was still quietly sleeping. I slipped on my red dress and heels and softly kissed his cheek. Over my nap I had dreamt about my mother. A reoccurring nightmare I had been having lately. I woke up with the sudden urge to visit Ellie.

I walked up the steps to strawberry fields orphanage and smiled at the lady who sat at the front desk. A smile I had recognized very well. It was dear Eleanor. I missed so much the way I would sneak down at night and have girl talks with her. She was like a mother of mine. Very sweet and caring. Most of all – accepting. I walked over to her and gave her a hug behind the counter.

"Alice! I was expecting to see you sometime soon!" I smiled.

"I really do miss it here." I sighed and she gave me a knowing look.

"Well as far as the boss knows, you're still 'out in Blackpool''. Don't worry, if ye' eva need a place to sleep, you can sneak up in here! But only before ten!" She gave me a wink and I smiled at her appreciatively.

"Thanks Elle."

"No prob, now go up an' see Elizabeth! She's always asking for ye'! Paul's already up there."

My ears rang at the word sound of Paul's name aloud. I missed him so much but it felt so wrong whenever I was around him. I nodded and nervously walked up the steps. My heart was racing and I wondered how it would be when we saw each other. I had completely forgotten how close he was to Ellie. Ever since his mother Mary used to watch her as a tot. I walked towards the door and hesitated before knocking. Finally I mustered up all the courage I had and slowly tapped on the wood. The door began to slowly open, only to reveal Paul's face. I slightly smiled and he nodded and opened the door further. I walked in and Ellie was already dozing off. She didn't notice that anyone had even walked into the room. My smile grew wider and I kissed her cheek. Paul sat down at a chair near an old writing desk. The air was filled with a thick layer of tension. I decided to say something but I didn't know what.

"So-"

"Well-"we both cut each other off and we both giggle at each of our reaction-faces. We stood there for about fifteen minutes in a conversation about anything and everything. I missed talking to him so much. We both got lost in the conversation.

"I missed ye'" Paul smiled and nervously hung his head down. My stomach was getting the feeling that I always dreaded when we were together.

"I missed you too, James" he scoffed. And then there was another tension filled moment of silence. He looked up and nodded his head,

"I should get going." I nodded back and smiled. He got up to go and I watched as he walked right out the door. That's when the feeling in my stomach was becoming almost unbearable. I quietly got up and shut the door behind me.

"Paul, wait!"I called down the hall and he turned on his heel real quick and smiled back cheekily.

"Huh?" I ran to where he was and gave him a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist. When we finally pulled back from each other, we sighed. I smiled at him and he smiled back but I could tell that everything about this was all so wrong. His face took on an almost angry look.

"Why are you doing this to yourself, huh? Why are you going to go off and get married to him? Why?" _oh if he only knew._ I paused for awhile and tried to think of what he was expecting me to say. He spoke again, "If you ask me, I think it's a mistake. What we have isn't just something that can be ignored, Allie! You're just going to keep lying to him?" I listened to every word and I wanted so badly to tell him everything that was going on, so that maybe he would just understand. But another part of me was saying that he was being a jerk for putting every little blame on me. I sighed and turned my face away from him.

"It's honestly none of your business, Paul" The words hurt me so much, but I had to say them. He turned my face so that I was staring at him. I held all my tears back and I could see the sadness in his eyes. Without another breath he pulled me to his lips in a kiss that also sent me to the stars. I wanted this so badly. I wanted to kiss him like nothing mattered – like I didn't have a care in the world. And that's exactly what it felt like as Paul kissed me. But it wasn't the truth at all. It was all a lie. I could hear the creak of a door pull open from behind my ears.

"Allie? Paul?"

**A/N: The deed is done! I can't tell you how awkward it was for me to write this chapter. I didn't even know that it was going to turn out like this! Please forgive me! Ahh, I can't believe Alice did that! And UH-OH WERE THEY JUST CAUGHT KISSING! ? I guess you'll have to read on to find out. New rule: The longer my reviews, the longer my chapters will be!**

**Peace&love**


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Thank you for all the wonderful and encouraging reviews! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else that you may recognize. **

"_Allie? Paul?"_

**Alice P.O.V**

I pulled away from Paul's lips and gave him a quick glare before turning towards where I heard the small voice coming from. Ellie was half asleep and peeking from the door. I let out a relieved sigh when I noticed that she hadn't seen me and Paul kissing. I turned back to him and saw that he also wore the same relieved look on his features. I gestured for him to wait and turned back towards Ellie. The bright hallway lights made her squint and she still hadn't noticed me. I giggled and ran over to her.

She smiled. "Alice!" I picked her up in a hug and brushed the blonde strands away from her cheeks. "I knew I heard you!" I giggled and took her back to her bed.

"You seem tired, love. Why don't you take a rest and ill come pick ye' up in the morning?"

"Pick me up For what?" She asked excitedly as she tucked herself under her blankets.

"For a surprise, now go back to bed and me and Johnny will see ye' tomorrow, love."

"You and Johnny? 'kay." She answered drowsily and tucked her head back into her pillow. I stood there for a few seconds to make sure that she was sleeping and I slowly made my way out of the familiar bedroom.

Paul was sitting against the wall in the hallway. I closed the door behind me. Everything about today was beginning to confuse me. Every time that John and I were at an all time high, I ended up seeing Paul. All the feelings from before began rushing back. I loved Paul. He was a best friend to me and I'm just beginning to realize that when he leaves for Germany, not only will I lose John, but I'll lose Paul too. I went and sat beside him. There was another dreadful silence, and I decided to break it with exactly what had been on my mind.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Why did you kiss back?" he asked with a smirk. I thought for a while. I honestly couldn't come up with an answer. Why _did_ I kiss back?

"Like I said before – it's honestly none of your business." The thought of Paul kissing me earlier was actually beginning to make me angry. How could he do that to his best mate's girl? Even worse, how could _I_ do that to John? I had just fallen into the same hole that started this mess. And this time – I wasn't going to sulk about it! I was going to get out. I loved John too much to go through this again. Who was I kidding? Did I honestly think that I could get anywhere with Paul? He's John's best mate! And from now on, it was just going to have to be over between me and Paul.

Paul held his hands up in surrender and I decided to tell him how I felt before I fell any deeper.

"We can't keep doing this. Where do you expect to go? I can't take you anywhere, Paul. I think its better that we just forget about anything that we ever had together, kay?" Paul raised an eyebrow and let out a sigh.

"I can't believe that I did this, al. John's a friend. How could I do this to him? I'm sorry. I was being selfish"

"- we all were." I retorted.

The silence between us was thicker than it had ever been before. I was sure that he finally understood where I was coming from, and I was glad that he finally decided to make it easier for both of us. I already was beginning to grow tired. I was about to say goodbye and leave when I remembered my dream. I knew that Paul had lost his mother, and I didn't really feel fully comfortable talking to John about it because he had just lost his mum, little over two months ago.

"What was yer' mum like, Paul?" I asked, pulling us both from our dreamy state. He thought for a while and turned his body toward mine.

"She was a mid-wife; I know she had me when she was like – old." I laughed a little at how he said the last part.

"No, I mean what was she – as a person – like?" Paul looked down at his hands and then back up at me. 

"Oh. Well, uh, she was always lookin' out for us. She cared a lot about others. I took 'er for granted, really. On the outside she seemed like she was the perfect mum, perfect housewife, really she was, but I know that on the inside, she may have felt sort of . . . free. She loved music – and I guess that was really the only way that she _could_ be _free _with a dad like mine." He paused for a moment and looked down at his hands again. "It was always about mannerisms with him. They loved each other dearly, but I could see how his tightness could get on her nerves at times." He said with a slight giggle. "Why are ye' asking?"

"Well, I guess it's just nice to hear your memories. She used to take care of Ellie, right?" I asked, trying to stray away from his question. Paul sighed happily and smiled.

"Yeh. Me mum always wanted a girl. I believe anyone would, when you have two monsters like me and Mike runnin' around all day! She and Eleanor were the best of friends. Me mum used to always come ova here to 'ave lunch with her and one day she just met Ellie. I could tell me mum loved her. She used to beg Eleanor to bring little Ellie over for dinner. I believe. . . I believe that before she passed, she was honestly thinking of adopting Elle. Maybe that's why I come to see her a lot. She had a connection with me mum that I could never 'ave. In a way, she reminds me so much of 'er." I loved the way Paul spoke about Mary. I could never see John speaking like that about Julia. Sometimes John would go on and on about how much he wished he had more time with his mum, but there was rarely ever a time when he just sat there and told me all of the memories he already had. I looked back down at my hands and Paul woke me out of my thoughts once more.

"What about yer' mum? Do you remember much?" I thought for a moment. No one had ever really asked me about my family at all. It caught me a little by surprise. Paul must have noticed.

"Sorry, I shouldn't- "

"No, its fine. I like thinkin' about it actually." Paul smiled and then his expression turned serious again.

"So, uh if you don't mind me askin'… how exactly did they. . ." As much as I enjoyed thinking of the memories I had, I never really spoke about my parent's death. It was the only thought I dreaded when I thought about my parents, I figured that I would have to talk about it sometime.

"My father had cancer. He passed when I was 'bout two. I only have photos now, not much of my memory serves there." I closed my eyes and looked down. Speaking of my father never really bothered me much. I didn't know him. The hardest part was my mother. I remembered everything about her.

"My mum passed when I was seven. She died in her sleep, but the doctors never figured how."I could feel hot tears beginning to roll down my cheeks and my mind was beginning to flood with the horrible memories that I usually hid.

"I jus' woke up one morning…. We were supposed to go visit dad at his site, but she jus' …. She jus' wouldn't wake up. . ." I was beginning to sob, and I could feel Paul put his arm around my shoulder.

"Shhh, love. It's okay now." I tried to calm myself. It was the reoccurring dream that I had been having lately. I figured that if I could dream it, and be okay, then I could speak about it. I guess it was just much harder when I put it into words. _It made everything real._ I let myself fall into Paul's open arms. After finally pulling myself together, I decided that I wanted to see _the box._ I stood up and pulled Paul up with me.

"I think I should go, I'm real tired." He smiled sincerely and pulled me back into a warm hug.

"Goodnight, love."

I smiled at his sweetly-spoken words, and raised my head from his shoulder.

"Goodnight."

We both walked out of the building and parted ways. As I walked back to John's house, I tried to ignore all of the thoughts that kept invading my peace. All that I wanted to do was to go back to John and open the damn box! I wanted to see the photos, just to live in that moment if only for a second! My pace began to get faster and pretty soon, I was full on running. I finally made it to his front porch – out of breath. I desperately searched for the key that I knew was hidden under the bush. I found it and jabbed it into the lock. When I finally managed to open the door, I ran up the stairs. Not even minding if I was waking anybody in the house up. I stepped into John's room and noticed that he was still sleeping. I couldn't wait – I needed the box. I remembered the first day I got it. I had just been sworn out of my uncle's house in London – the bastard! It was all I had that belonged to my mother and father. It was the only memory I ever had left. I knew that it wasn't safe to keep it at the orphanage, so I brought it here. And right now, I just had to get my hands on it! I tried to softly wake John up but that didn't work out so I shook him a little harder. He had the most confused look on his face, and I honestly didn't mind.

"-The fuck. What is it, Alice!" I looked at him seriously and whispered.

"Where's the box?" He slowly stood up in his bed and I walked over to close the door to his bedroom.

"It's at the top of the closet." He said absentmindedly. "Why do you want it, what's going on?" I went over to the closet and grabbed it. I could feel his eyes burning into me, but that didn't matter at all right now. I don't know what it was, but I was just so over strung with all my emotions. I spent a long while tracing over the frost flower patterns on the beautiful glass box. I wanted so badly to go back to a time where all of these materialistic items actually meant something. Suddenly it hit me. All of this was over. My life was going down a shithole, and I had already waved it goodbye. These pictures – were nothing! I had obviously learned nothing from a mother who tried so hard. Nothing at all, _and she wasn't doing me any justice right now, either! _John was about to say something and I held my hand up for him not to speak.

"Fuck it." I opened the glass box so hard, that I tore off the hinges. I tossed the cover to the ground and watched it crack – not fully breaking. I fell to my knees and took the first photo from the top of the pile. _My favorite one._ I stared at it for a quick moment before taking my other hand and tearing it to shreds. I ripped it until the photo wasn't even visible. John quickly rose out of the bed.

"What the hell are you doing! ? "

"Its all done, John! What the hell did I get out of it?" I couldn't help but wince as my last sentence came out. I was so angry – for a reason that I didn't even know! And it just felt so good to let everything out. I wondered if this was how John felt when he was mad. Was I really holding him back this much, was I preventing him from feeling this good?

"What's that supposed to mean!" I could basically feel his voice getting higher. I ripped up the next photo and ignored his statement – or question – or whatever it was for that matter. Before I could pull whatever came out of the box next, He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up.

"This is ridiculous!"

"- don't touch me!" I retorted pulling my hand away. Things weren't fun anymore – or whatever they were for that matter. The air around us had grown serious and I was beginning to fear all that I was doing to myself.

. Having. A. Breakdown.

John pulled back with a hurt expression, if only for a second, then his face began to flare up. I had never seen him this angry before. Well, atleast not at me. As soon as he opened his mouth to say something, I dropped the glass box and it tore to shreds. He clenched his jaw and he was only getting angrier. In a way, I wanted him to get angry. I wanted the pain and misery that no one understood – to finally be over. I walked right past him and leaned my head on the wall. I tried to compose myself, but part of me (the part that usually won all the battles) was telling me that this was exactly what I needed. I turned and he was still in the same spot. Lord only knows what was going through his mind. Then he spoke. Oh joy.

"What… the fuck… is going on with you! Are you fucking crazy, Alice! You're going to kill yourself with this. Is that what you want? Do you want me to fucking touch you? I'm sure it's what you expected of me, right? Since day one you've been watching your ass in case of one day, me blowing up! Well, hell, you've succeeded! What do you want? You want me to beat your ass _like he did!_ Well, I'm not going to do it! And you're damn lucky at that, but please do tell me what the hell is going on!" I scoffed, my anger growing just as high as his, discovering levels that I didn't even know where there. I wasn't even sure how this all started. All I wanted to do was to come here and see my photos, maybe even get a goodnight kiss and some freakin' oatmeal!

"That's the thing, John! I don't know _what_ the hell is going on! It's over! Why can't you just see that? Don't you understand that soon you'll be famous and this – everything will be gone. Why can't you see that this is not what I want! If it were up to me, I wouldn't be giving this all up! You know what I want? I want my mother! I don't want a photo, or a necklace or a box! I want her to sit next to me and tell me that everything is all right. But that's never going to happen!" I haven't yelled this loud in – forever. It was strange really. Here I was, not only saying everything I felt at that moment – but yelling it. And in the end, it was as if I had said nothing at all. As if no one had even heard me. John walked over to where I was and I honestly wouldn't have cared if he slapped the tears off of my face. But he didn't. He opened his arms and pulled me into them. It was pathetic. I had just met an entirely new John a few minutes ago. He was angry enough to make me forget about all the times we had spent together. It was like I was meeting him all over again and I was seeing him for the sick person that he could be at times. That is why I was most definitely not expecting a hug from him! The hug only angered me more. It was sincere, but it meant nothing. _It was pity._ He tried to calm me down,

"Shhh, it's alright Alice, don't get all worked up. I get it, you miss her. She's been gone for so long, I understand." _No you don't. _"Love, the last thing we need right now is you breaking down on me. Here's what we'll do," I looked up at him with the slightest hope that he would break down and heartily admit that- of all things- he wanted to keep the baby. He didn't. "We'll look on the Brightside of things. As soon as we're done with Germany, me and you will get married and one day have a family of buggers runnin' 'round. Just not now. We both can't handle this." I sighed. This was all wrong. This was not supposed to be how our story ends – it just couldn't be! And now, what was I supposed to do? It's not like I could just tell him. He's already planned everything out! It made me sick. All it was was a way of controlling me the way I see it! He thinks that I'm just going to go along with everything he says because 'it's the right thing to do'. Yeah right. My eyes weren't hidden under the wool anymore. In fact – I was seeing quite clearly where all of this was going! How I was going to put it in words, lord knows. I slowly pulled away from his embrace and laid on the bed. He laid next to me and for once I wondered what really _really_ went on in the mind of John Lennon.

"You know what life is?" he looked at me seriously, getting back into his John-like mood. That must have been the zillionth thing I realized. After today, things between me and him weren't going to be the same. It was all going to be different, he was no longer going to hold back from getting angry at me and he was definitely no longer going to hide his snide comments. How did I know that? Well, because of the way he looked at me. His eyes were lazy and no longer sincere and perked. He looked at me the same way I had seen him look at every other girl before me and him began dating. That's when I realized that my pity ride was over. I was going to see everything raw. And I quickly began to regret everything. If there was one thing that was perfect in my life, it was my relationship with John (ON THE OUTSIDE) and I knew that after seeing his eyes stare at me like that, I had better do some big ass kissing to make our last week together, one that I wouldn't regret. He nudged me a little.

"What is it? What is life?" I stared back at him lovingly as if nothing had happened. I clung on to his arm as if my life depended on it, and I got so close to him that I could feel him shiver as my breath went down his neck.

"It's a sick joke, and we're all waiting around like idiots for the next player to make their move." He turned with a cocky grin.

"Ye' know I still want to marry ye' , right?" He said in a jokingly manner.

*****please read*******

**A/N: WHAT. THE. HELL. DID. I. JUST. WRITE? Oh no, kill me now! Sorry, but I just had to do it! I mean, she has to break sooner or later, right? Don't worry guys; it's all just part of the story! It'll calm down for a while after this, and then eventually rise back up. But that's just drama, right? Look I'm honestly real sorry if this chapter just wasn't your forte. Honestly I am, but I just felt that it was turning into the same old "cat vs. dog" story and I really just had to change it up a bit. Forgive me if you find it in your dear hearts );Oh and sorry if it seems overdramatic, hehe :D No flames about this chapter! Please(: Remember, longer reviews, longer chapters, happier author, just so much more Oh and I didn't even read over what I wrote so its probably horrible in the grammar section and probably didn't even make sense. Tell me what you think! **


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello I would just like to thank you!. Oh, but you are all very confusing! Let's just say that I had my mind made up. 'Alice will definitely be staying with John' and then I read the reviews and I thought 'Okay, no, there has to be a way for her to end up with Paul.' And then I recently read a new batch of reviews that made me wonder' Who the hell will she be with!' Agh, you all confuse me! I am still undecided. In the end, I love my readers all very much and I've decided to give you all what you've wanted. MORE RINGO STARR! Well, not a lot, but we're start slowly for the climax!**

**I love you Ringo. This one's for you, Kitten. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize. **

"_What is it? What is life?" I stared back at him lovingly as if nothing had happened. I clung on to his arm as if my life depended on it, and I got so close to him that I could feel him shiver as my breath went down his neck._

"_It's a sick joke, and we're all waiting around like idiots for the next player to make their move." He turned with a cocky grin._

"_Ye' know I still want to marry ye', right?" He said in a jokingly manner._

Was she cynical?

Oh, the agonizing pain she would soon be going through. She thought she had it all figured, but of course that was Alice for you. Strong minded, beautiful and most of all naïve to what she thought to be the simplest of things. Perhaps what she didn't understand was that, it's not gravity that makes people fall in love. It's stronger than that. If you were to go into outer space, surely you would still be in love, right? Point is, in less than a week, John Lennon would be gone for good. Yet, here she was. Thinking that her and John's love was just something that would disappear – vanish into thin air and then everything would be all right. Oh and another thing that must have never crossed her mind, would probably be the fact that she knew very well that her plan would fail. She led on and on telling herself that everything would be okay. But in all honesty, she knew it wouldn't be.

Why would she lie to herself? Well, for the _obvious_ reason of course.

The obvious reason being, that she was in too deep. John Lennon was a drug. As much as you hated to admit you were addicted, you knew it was true. John was just as much as a fix to Alice as she was to him. And leaving? Well, leaving was her rehab. It was a way of getting over all the bullshit and finally facing reality. In almost every way, she hoped and anxiously awaited the day that he would be gone and she could become her own person. And then there was the other 50% of the equation. The 50% that was telling her that, she _in fact_, would not last a day without her fix of him. In reality, she was only setting things out to be worse. Not only would she never have him again, but she would also have an identical version of him, running around the house. It was basically like having the drug in front of you, but never being able to reach it. It was something that just wasn't fair at all. To herself, or her child. If anything, she was just repeating John's history into a new human being. A child with no father, oh what would the neighbors think? That's all this was. It was a scam that she set upon herself. After all, what would her child be without John? It would be like going into a room with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, and never letting him touch the piano! It was waste of thought. Why? Because she knew that in the end, her glass plan would crack. Not everything is as crystal clear as it was set out to be.

So, yeah. Occasionally you could call Alice a little cynical.

She slowly began opening her heavy eyelids and looked out towards the window that carried the heavy beat of raindrops and a grey sky. Her eyes trailed down the trace of a raindrop and landed on the messy bedroom floor. She let out an acknowledging sigh and tucked her head back into john's side. She was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday and they were still in the position that they had left off talking in. Only, now the room was quiet, and she had a dreadful craving for jelly babies.

The beating of the rain had stopped now, and John was beginning to wake up. He slowly sat up with Alice and drowsily kissed her jaw.

"Morning, love." His words sounded sweet as if he had just woken from the best dream.

"Morning', Johnny" she wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his cheek. So far, this morning was as any other. Almost as if nothing had happened at all the night before.

**Richard P.O.V**

Shit. Shit. Shit.

Had I figured this out earlier, I wouldn't be so miserable now. The truth of it all was that I loved her. Was it too soon? Most likely. But that's just how things are, and I can't control love. I guess there are two questions that I desperately needed to be answered. The first one being, what the fuck is she doing with a bloke like me? The second one being, how the hell am I supposed to tell her about the band? They were both completely unrelated. But then again, maybe these are just the type of questions that one usually asks himself after waking up in his girlfriend's bed. Okay, that was a lie. Because most people who wake up in their girlfriend's bed, usually aren't in the situation that I'm it sucks.

"Psst... Ritchie, are you awake?" I turned on my side so that I was facing Mo.

"I think so." She smiled and closed her eyes for a while. Goodness, I could get used to that beautiful smile forever.

"Let's go do something, I've just woken up and I already can't stand this dreadful house!" she quietly joked as if someone else might have been listening. I laughed a little.

"And what did you have in mind, my fair lady?" She rolled her eyes.

"Black pool?" I gave her a strange look. Had she not seen the weather? I raised myself up a little to see past the window. The gloomy weather outside was gross.

"Black pool? It's horrible out."

"Aw, the raining stopped. Is Ritchie scared of a few clouds?" She teased. I flicked her nose and shrugged my shoulders.

"Suit yourself, but don't cry to me when ye' feet start urtin'!" She giggled. Mo hated walking. I got myself up from the bed and walked around, picking up the traces of my clothing.

"Don't act like you won't carry me around!" She laughed a little and got up to get dressed.

"You know me all too well." I kissed her cheek and slipped my pants on. "And if I get tired?"

"I'll walk instead."

That was Mo. She was sweet, funny, caring. She was everything, really. We walked along the dark wet streets. Sometimes she could be childish, but I was always childish so I guess we just… fit. She twirled herself next to me as the Black Pool dock became more and more noticeable. It was almost empty except for some of the workers.

Finally, we made our way on to the wooden path. Our fingers were intertwined and everything around us was quiet. It was a comfortable kind of silence. Every while I would look at her and catch her staring at me, smiling. That was surely new. I _loved _the way she did that.

"Mo, can I tell you something?" her smile brightened and we stopped in our tracks.

"Anything, Ritchie." I giggled nervously.

"I love you." The moment seemed all too perfect. She flung her arms around my neck and kissed me.

"I love you too!" Of course I had said 'I love you' many times to her before, but I guess this was just my way of preparing for what I would tell her next. She kept holding on to me. I felt it would be much better to tell her that way.

"Hun, there's sorta something' else."

"Hm?" she pulled back just enough for me to see her face.

"Well, the band's goin' to Germany. We just found out, but they want us to play with some other bands out there." She fully pulled back with a look of confusion in her eyes. She paced back and leaned on the pole.

"Huh, like John." She scoffed a little, talking more to herself than me.

"I want you to come with me." And she couldn't answer quickly enough…

**Alice P.O.V**

"Then luckily, Anne's father came home from sea and cancelled the husband." I giggled and nodded my head.

"Johnny that was a horrible bed time story. You don't make sense!" Ellie laughed and thought to herself, trying to comprehend the jibberish story that John had just told her.

"You don't make sense, baby! _You!" _She stuck her tongue out at him and tapped his nose. He made a crazy face and turned to me.

"I don't know, what do you think?"

"I think that we're just going to have to throw her to the dogs – like the last one!" I joked. She became attentive.

"Who's the last one? You aren't really going to, right?" John smiled mischievously.

"Oh, you don't wanna know about the last one…"

"Yes I do." She answered back smartly. That was Ellie.

"Well, you see, Maria was a nice one too. She just asked waaay too many questions." Ellie smiled and sat back into her bed.

"You love me too much to throw me to the dogs." She rolled her eyes playfully and raised an eyebrow at John.

"Don't be too sure, love." He joked and began tickling her.

"Okay, I call mercy! Mercy! Help me Allie!" I laughed and pulled her into a protective hug.

"Thank you!" She sighed dramatically. I winked back at John and he let out a bird laugh.

"Alright, young lady. It's time for bed." John said in a mock posh accent and pulled her to her bed.

"Melkghhh." She sighed in a gurgle and laid down to bed.

"Night Alice. Night Johnny." John got up and we walked for the door. He turned around and laughed a little.

"Watch out for the wrestling dog, we didn't make any promises!" She giggled and threw one of her stuffed animals at him.

….

John hung his arm around my shoulder as we walked back home. This day had been as any other. I was glad that nothing had changed between us. He softly kissed my cheek and sighed as we got closer and closer to his house. I smiled and kissed him back. If anything – today was too perfect. It hurt me to see John being so sweet with Ellie. It made me wonder how great of a father he would be – if only he wanted to be.

He kissed me on the cheek again and I kissed him back more enthusiastically than before. He laughed and pulled me into a bone crushing hug. I hugged him back and kissed him all over his face in small smooches.

He let out another bird laugh and lifted me up by my thigh, in one arm. I laughed as he struggled to open the front door. Finally he opened the door and I thought back to how it was when we first began dating. It used to be like this every night! He held me and we walked into the house laughing – and greeted with an uncomfortable clearing of Mimi's throat.

We stopped what we were doing and I could feel my cheeks burning up. Mimi looked intimidating. She sat in a chair and stared back at us with an eyebrow raised. She seemed a little angry.

"I got a call today – from the clinic." _Shit. _The last time I went to the clinic, I had listed John's home as the one I was staying at.

"Yeh, Mimi._ And_?" John snapped back. I'm sure he already knew what this was going to be about. The house stood in deafening silence for awhile. Michael was sitting in the couch next to Mimi, attempting to read the newspaper. The whole situation was just embarrassing! I felt like breaking down right then and there. I felt like I had to speak, but there was just nothing to say.

"Apparently, she's pregnant! Did you know that, John?"

"Obviously."

"Oh and when were you going to tell me? So I guess while you're out doing whatever it is you do with that guitar, I'm going to have to pay for this _thing?_"

"No, Mimi, you don't have to pay for it! Is that all?"

"How did this happen, John?"

"How dy'a think it happened, Mimi?" I tried to block it all out. It was the worst thing. She hates me now. It's official. I hate me now! Their voices kept rising and Mimi was already out of her chair waving her fingers in our faces. Suddenly it all stopped. They stopped yelling and it was finally over. I hadn't heard how it ended – and I didn't want to. John hastily grabbed me by the arm and pulled me up the stairs with him. He mumbled and you could see the anger in his face, just then he shouted back at her.

"Just like you Mimi! To ask about money and babies – when you _know_ I'm tired!" And for some reason it was all funny to me. This whole situation it was all funny! I hated thinking that way. There was a crowd of mumbling from down the stairs. John sighed dramatically and nodded as an apology from roughly pulling me by my arm. Michael spoke with Mimi.I hadn't heard him talk until he said – perhaps a little louder than needed –

"It happens a lot around here, with girls like _her!_"

**A/N: Ha-ha, so yeah there wasn't much of a point to this chapter. Well, sort of. It's all mostly just setting up for a little more meaningless drama in the future. But the Ringo chappie will definitely have a big effect on the story in the future! I promise! So yeah, I've sorta been having a little bit of a writer's block and I just felt the need to update before you guys forget all about the story! Soooo, it was a little weird for me to write Ringo. Mostly because a lot of people don't see him as a romantic (I personally think he was the most romantic of all!) but every time I would write him doing something romantic, it just felt cheesy. And most of the chapter is unrelated so sorry if I confused you (Again, it's the writer's block!)Don't worry; I'll get over it soon. I already have sooo many plans for the future of this story! I'm way too excited. It's just the filling in that I'm having trouble with. Sorry, y'all. Deal with it! :D I'll update again at some point. Thanks so much for staying dedicated to this story! You rock **


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: Sorry): Forgive me?**

_"Just like you Mimi! To ask about money and babies – when you __know__ I'm tired!" And for some reason it was all funny to me. This whole situation it was all funny! I hated thinking that way. There was a crowd of mumbling from down the stairs. John sighed dramatically and nodded as an apology from roughly pulling me by my arm. Michael spoke with Mimi. I hadn't heard him talk until he said – perhaps a little louder than needed –_

_"It happens a lot around here, with girls like __her!__"_

I have to admit, I was extremely offended by the words Michael had just blurted out. I knew what he was playing at, and I felt like dying right then and there. You would too. I closed my eyes again and waited for everything to disappear. I wasn't stupid enough to think that John wouldn't snap back. And I was right. Within seconds he was stomping down the stairs yelling words that I didn't even care to pay attention to. I felt a knot forming in my stomach, I wanted to rush down there and pull John away from further trouble, but I couldn't. I began feeling a horrible nausea coming up my throat. I hated this part; I knew what was going to happen already. I quickly ran up the stairs and barged into the bathroom. Everything came up and it felt like forever before I stopped vomiting. Goodness, what I think was even worse was the fact that I was being such a cry baby about it. I didn't care who was listening or what anyone thought. I wiped my mouth and sat down and cried, like an idiot. Actually, it was more than crying. It was full on sobbing. Stupid, actually, but I just couldn't help it. I saw john leaning in the door way which made me cry even more because I hated when people saw me all sick and vulnerable.

"You okay?" I nodded my head and he came and sat next to me with a glass of water.

"I hate you! Look what you did to me. This is your entire fault." I smirked through the tears and slapped him playfully, trying to lighten up the mood for myself. He chuckled a little and turned his body towards me. I kept my head down and avoided looking at him. I swear, this was the nastiest I've felt in forever.

"Now now, there's no need for that, love." He pulled a piece of my hair behind my ear and ran his hand up and down my back as I drank the water.

"What do you want, Ana?" He asked with a huff.

"Can you take me back to Maureen's?" He sighed and got up, casually checking himself in the mirror.

"Yeah, I'll go get your things." He pulled me up and went to go get my bags. I stood in the bathroom doorway, terrified to even take a peak downstairs. I was so scared of having to look at both of them down there, so I just waited for John to come out. He walked out with my bag and passed me one of his sweaters to wear. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"C'mon, I don't think that anyone's down there anymore." He peeked over the staircase. I pulled his arm and he came towards me as I was putting his sweater on me.

"Hmm?" He asked, playing with my hair. I pulled him into a close hug and we stood there for awhile, in silence. I nearly fell asleep on his shoulder. He gently pulled away from me and smiled.

"You're such a cry baby, you know that?" I laughed and jokingly pushed him off of me.

"Walk, Lennon."

We made it out of the house without anyone noticing. At first the walk was silent, it was a little awkward. I listened intently to the wheels on my bags, and kept my head down. I felt stupid for my loss of words, but well what was I supposed to say? I thought of maybe thanking him for standing up for me with the whole Michael thing, but it's not like we just started dating. He already knew I was grateful and so I just think it would make things weirder if I bring it up again. I tried to think up anything to break the silence.

"Hey, - "

"– I'm not gonna play this anymore, Allie. What are we going to do while I'm in Germany? Just tell me now, it's killing me, it is!" I was surprised by his random outburst. And even more scared, because I honestly didn't know what to say.

"What do _you_ want to do?" I asked quietly, like if it was nothing. He scoffed loudly and stopped walking.

"We're doing what _I_ want to do?" I stopped and turned to face him. He had a mischievous eyebrow raised, but there was no trace of a smirk or even sarcasm.

"It depends, what do you want?" I asked again more seriously. He nodded his head and slowly made his way toward my suitcase. He stood it up and sat down on it, thinking to himself for a while.

"Listen, I thought about it a little more. It keeps me awake at night, y'know. It's just not right . . . to give it away." He seemed like he was talking to himself, but he turned his face toward mine looking for some kind of reaction. I could tell that my expression was blank. I didn't even want to think that he had said such a thing. It was exactly what I had been wanting from him, but now that I heard him say it, I wish he'd take it back. He sounded miserable, like it was the lowest resort that he just absolutely had to take. I didn't like it at all, when I said I wanted him to want the baby, I meant it literally. I didn't want him to feel obligated. Suddenly he nodded his head again and spoke.

"It was stupid, what the hell am I thinking?" He started walking again. I stood for a moment, still in shock, and then I turned to him.

"Hey, what the hell? Is it mess with Alice's head day or something?" He turned quickly and raised a shoulder.

"Do you think you're the only one going through this? I was just putting the idea out there! Like I said – it was a stupid one." I stopped him before he started walking again.

"So, you wanna know what's going to happen while you're gone, then?"

"What?"

"I'll have to go to all the damn adoption meetings – alone. I'll have to choose a family – alone. I'll have to go through all the horrible symptoms – alone. And I'll have to have the baby – alone." I was beginning to cry again. I didn't want to make him feel even more obligated to want the baby; I just really had to say it. It was building up inside of me for a while now, and I hated that it was all true. Right now, John wasn't part of some crazy teenage scandal. He was my boyfriend. That was his job. He gave me a hug and rocked me a little, and then I felt him tense up and get eager again.

"That's what I'm saying! Things would be so much easier. Listen, you could come out to Germany with me, we'll even rent out a little place." And that was when it happened. That was when the plan that I had waited so long for, finally came around. It made me even sicker to realize that what I was doing may have been the worst thing a woman could do. My idea – was the same. I was keeping the baby, but John wasn't going to have to feel the burden. So what did I do? The same thing I've been doing this whole time. I lied. So sue me. But it's all I could do, if I told him the truth, he'd probably go jump off of a cliff somewhere. Without having to look him in the eye, I nodded my head into his chest and sighed.

"Okay, John." He nodded his head as if he had just taken on the biggest challenge of his life and regretted it. I felt a little bad, but not as horrible as you would think I did. I mean, it's not that I don't care about John. It's the opposite, actually. Right now, it was a horrible decision to make, but in the end, it won't matter. He'll still be childless, and I'll still be pregnant.

I guess the only sad part, in reality, would be the fact that he just might get his hopes up about this thing. _Might. _

Soon, we were in front of Maureen's. He gave me a long hug and rested his head on my shoulder.

"You want to come in for some tea?" He nodded his head without a word and we both walked in to the dimly lit house. Mo was upstairs playing her records. She must have not heard us walk in. John sat himself on the couch and laid his head back, closing his eyes for a long while. I sat beside him and put his cup of tea on the table. He kept his eyes closed and played with a strand of my hair. He giggled a little to himself.

"We have issues." I laughed and rested my head on his shoulder.

"I like to think, it makes things more interesting." He laughed and reached for his tea. Finally, we had the kind of silence that was comfortable between us. He laid back on the couch again and rested his leg with one heel on the ground, then he jokingly bended the other leg over my legs and rested his heel on the other side of me.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked, opening one eye.

"Yeah," I sighed and thought back to that horrible feeling earlier.

"Goodness, I don't think I'll ever be able to touch you again, without fear of seeing that re-lived." We both laughed a little. I wrapped one arm around his bended knee and stroked his inner thigh with the other. He opened both his eyes, and smirked.

"Or maybe I will." He winked. I slapped him playfully and rested my head until we finished our tea.

"It's getting late, you should go."

"Kicking me out, already?"

"Yes, I can't stand you." I joked and took his sweater off of me. He kissed me gently goodnight and I waited in the door way until I saw that he reached the corner of the block. I smiled to myself a little and went upstairs to bed. As I walked down the hall, I passed by Maureen's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in"

"Hey, Mo." She frowned and yawned a little.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong, actually, everything's right." I smiled,

"Oh, yeah? Do explain." She giggled and sat up.

"Ritchie and 'is band are gonna tour Germany next month." I smiled, this was great! Not just because Ritchie was dating Mo, but because Rory's band was my personal favorite at the moment.

"No way! Is Ritch excited?" She smiled even wider,

"He asked me to go with him, Al."

"Are you going?"I smiled evenwider. She had everything coming for her and Ritch. It seemed so lovely.

"I'm going. He's just gotta ask mum and dad, but I'm sure it'll be fine." I smiled, I was happy for her and Ritch, she and him deserved to be happy. I mean, they were the cutest things in Liverpool!

I yawned, "Tell me how it goes," I walked out of the room and lazily made my way over to my bed. I was tired, but I couldn't sleep.

I thought over my plan again. The idea made me cringe, but it just had to be done. I don't know why, but it just has to!

The hardest part of the plan was that, I had to figure out a way to tell John I lost the baby.

**A/N: Alright, so instead of spending my writing break, thinking of ways to write this chapter, I spent it planning the whole future of this story! Im so excited to get to the point already! Theres so much awesomeness coming up in this story, I promise. I know that this chapter was a little runt, and the next one might be too (Maybe) But I swear, in three chapters, you guys will be crying! (Or not.) I don't know how you'll react. Lol :D Sooo anyroooad…. I started a new fic Yeah, and it's a collab too! With the wonderful IndigoNowhereGirl. You can find the fic up on her page, I guarantee you a handful of awesomeness in that one! Again, so SORRY for taking forever to update, and so SORRY SORRY SORRY, for this crappy chapter. I'm trying, okay.**

**You can review now ;)**

**Peace&Love**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Happy birthday Kurt I don't know if any of you are fans of Nirvana "I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not." –Kurt Cobain. This has nothing to do with the story. ;) Thanks for all of your lovely reviews. I don't know how you've put up with me and my grammatical errors for so long!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles… Or Kurt Cobain… Or anything else you may recognize. **

**Alice P.O.V**

I quickly opened my eyes from a dream that I already can't remember. The blankets were thick and warm, but even on a hot day like this, it didn't bother me. I crawled out of bed and slid my feet into my slippers. The house was silent and it was half past noon. Mo's parents were coming back today. I was really looking forward to Flo's delicious cooking already. Shit. Half past noon. John was going to be here in less than an hour. I lazily sat on the bed, knowing that I should be in a rush – but making no attempt at actually getting ready. Finally, I went over to my bags and pulled up the first thing that came out. I smiled because it made me think back to my birthday last year. It's this cute little blue button down dress with a bow on the waistline. Mo had gotten it for me. I put it on and tied my hair in a pony tail. After checking the clock for maybe the sixth time, I made the bed and slipped on my white heels. I was leaving to make myself some tea and then I remembered the cutest thing. John had given me a necklace that I hadn't worn in such a long time. It was the most adorable thing! And it had his ring on it. I went back for it and then waltzed back out of the room. And in case you were wondering – yes! I am completely aware of how quick these damn hormones have been changing my mood lately! I don't mind anyhow, when you feel good, you feel good. It can't get any more logical than that.

I started the tea pot and ran to the bathroom to freshen up. After the pot screeched, I hurried over and poured myself a cuppa. Now, I could tell you about all the thoughts I'm thinking, but honestly, right now I don't think I'm thinking anything. It's weird – relaxing actually. And okay, it's over now. The thought of last night crossed my mind. I tried to avoid it. Boy, was I a hypocrite or what? I was always getting mad at John for pushing all of his serious thoughts away, but now I seemed to be doing the same thing. It was just much easier not to think about it. I rose the cup to my lips and just as I was about to take a sip, the doorbell rang, which caught me off guard and made me burn myself a little.

"Come in," I yelled, forgetting that Mo may have been sleeping up stairs.

John hesitantly opened the door and peeked in. I smiled and ran to him. He raised his eyebrows a little surprised when I wrapped jumped into his arms and wrapped my legs around his waist. I laughed, forgetting about all the bad times and focusing on the good ones. Yeah, it could have been the hormones, but hey I just felt like being happy. He smiled and I planted kisses all over his face and neck.

"Oh, so you love me now?" He joked sarcastically. I pulled back a little and ran my fingers through his hair, making it look messy.

"Maybe.." I answered teasingly. "Hey, I really like your hair like this," I commented, taking a look at what I had done to his already sloppy ducktail style. He shook his head and kissed my neck.

"Hey, are you guys going to shag in my parents living room?" John pulled back with his eyes closed and chuckled, I turned towards a sleepy Mo who was watching interestedly from the staircase. I rolled my eyes laughed. John put me down and Mo eyed him suspiciously.

"Quit making eyes at me, Mo. I'm taken." He joked and Maureen laughed in pretend shock.

"Why don't you go make me a sandwich, John?"

"Theres only one woman allowed to give me orders." He winked at me and I scoffed. Him and Mo were always at eachothers neck. Mo came into the kitchen and dug through the fridge for something. It made me realize how starving I was.

"I'm leaving, Mo. Be back later." She smiled and then turned around quickly.

"Don't forget curfew, my parents are coming tonight!" I nodded and walked back over to John. He opened the door and we walked down the block. I was about to turn but he turned me a different way.

"What?" I knew I was hopeless when it came to direction, but I was sure it was the other way.

"I took Mimi's car, it's this way," He laughed at my confusion and led me to Mimi's small car. He opened the door to me in a dramatically fancy way and I crawled in, resting my legs forward. John got in and turned the radio on. I rested my head on the cushiony seat and we drove in silence for a while. The radio was stuck on an older station and soon one of my favorite songs began to play through the small speakers. I smiled as the words to an old 'My Bonnie' started. I sang along with myself and turned to john with a smile, tapping his arm to the beat.

"You're crazy." He nodded his head and relaxed himself a little more as he drove. I smiled and sang a little louder to him. He began to laugh and sing along in a dramatic deep voice/ Elvis impression.

"Stop!"

"I thought I was pretty good," He laughed.

"No, I meant stop the car." He pulled over

"I'll be right back." He shrugged his shoulders and switched the station. I jumped out of the car and walked into a little store. I was starving – but not for food. I went all the way to the back of the store and dropped about six bags of jelly babies into the basket. The clerk looked at me like I was crazy, but I ignored him because I was craving these things so badly. When I walked back to the car, John had managed to find a rock station and we were listening to Buddy Holly. He started driving again and looked at my bag curiously. I pulled out the first bag of jelly babies and opened them eagerly. He gasped like a little kid.

"Green one!" I smiled and fed him a little green jelly baby.

Finally, we got to the cavern. We were a little late and John had rushed out on to stage within minutes. I waited on the couch backstage. I was starting to feel a little guilty. This was like my third bag of jelly babies. The boys came rushing back with sweat pouring down their faces. George smiled widely and snatched a bag of candy for himself. He looked up and smiled,

"Is it wrong that I don't feel guilty about eating jelly _babies_?" I laughed. The entire room was a clamor of noise, people were switching between conversations, some people even talking to themselves. It was so loud, you couldn't tell what anyone was saying. I started getting that nauseous feeling in my stomach again. Rather than waiting for it to attack, I made my way to the small bathroom at the left of the room. I moaned in frustration and sat myself on the floor, just waiting for it to happen. And then it did. And I can tell you for sure, I really did regret eating those jelly babies! It surely came back with a fury. When it was finally over, I still felt the nausea. I stood in the washroom for a moment just in case. There was a knock on the door and I got up, for whoever needed to come in.

"Hey, Allie. Are you alright?" I heard Paul's voice from the other side and I was feeling sick again, before I could answer him, it all came up again. I wiped my mouth and shouted back,

"Not really?"

"Can I come in?" I contemplated for awhile and then opened the door a little for him to enter. He came in and leaned on the wall.

"Ohhh. . . d'ya need water or something?" He spoke with a little hesitation and leaned over to see if I was okay. I thought about it, but honestly, the water just seemed so un appealing to me right now. Everything did. I nodded my head no.

**Paul P.O.V**

She was lazily flung on the floor. She looked sick to death, not really looking for any conversation. Obviously. Everytime she would get a nauseating look on her face, she'd shriek,

"Oh my gosh Paul, turn around!" And gesture for me to look the other way. I know she was sick and all but it sort of made me laugh. The way she said it, it was sort of cute. I already knew she hated when people saw her sick. Earlier this year, she had the worse fever, and whenever me and John would go to see her, she'd cover her face with the blanket. She was like a child.

"What did you eat that was so bad?" I asked, trying to look away from her.

"Jelly babies. Those things are little devils!" I laughed.

"No way, George eats them like that all the time, and I've never seen that kid so much as burp." I turned around, because she seemed done with vomiting. She was leaned up against the wall, she looked like she may have been contemplating something. Look at those legs….

She sighed. "Maybe it was something else then." Suddenly it hit me. That something else. When theres vomiting because of something else, its only logical. Right? I mean, that _something else_ wasn't… it wasn't too long ago, was it? I didn't want to ask, cause well, who would? Maybe I was being stupid about it, and I know that we left it behind, but the thought randomly crossed my mind, and I had to stop it.

I walked over to where she was sitting.

"Oh no, Paul. You don't want to be around me." She joked. I sat next to her and nodded,

"I don't mind, really." She smiled and leaned her head on my shoulder.

"Hey, I have something serious to ask." She turned to me curiously. She had a little blush in her cheeks. I was getting a little nervous about it all.

"nevermind." She laughed and turned around.

"I feel better now."

I don't.

**A/N: Blaaaaah. It was fluffy. I know This was sort of a hint chapter, it's important for whats going to happen next, I promise! I know it was sort of…. Okay totally and completely un dramatic. Sorry. But don't worry….. next chappie for sure? Yeah, sure.**

**Dear Beth, There was no Mogo in this chapter. Trust me, I tried to insert Ringo (That's what she said) ;) But, it was just too hard! I wrote an entire scene and when I read it over, it was just way too cheesy. Like 10x cheesier than the John-Fluff was. Sorry. No Mogo. And sorry about John, I know you don't like seeing your fiancé like this ;) (its an insider). Ha.**

**Yeah, so don't give up. I'm so excited for the drama I'm preparing to write! I know the Paul part was small, but there will be more soon! And in case you didn't understand, well you know what he was referring to when he said 'something else' right? Yeah, referring back to that one night ;) And about the last chapter, if you didn't understand what Alice meant when she said 'Lost the baby', you will soon. And if you did understand, well Kudos to you **

**Okay, this A/N is almost longer than the chapter itself! Sorry. Have a good week!**

**Peace&Love**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Im sooo sooo sorry for not updating! Sorry! Life just hasn't been easy lately, y'know? Anyroad, I just want to say that this chapter may seem as a shock to you (or not) but I just felt like for the sake of the story, I was going to have to speed up the time a little. You are going to hate me after this chappie. I apologize now, in advance. Once again, im so sorry and I just want to thnk my readers for putting up with me.**

**Alice P.O.V**

"Hey, Paul?"

"Yeh?"

"Nothing."

I laid my head back on the chair I was sitting on and looked over to Paul who sat across from me. We had the same expression on our faces. I turned back to the crowed of people who danced and cheered in the club.

"You can go out there if you like."

"Nah, I've got dinner with me old man tonight. He'll slaughter me if I even smell like a lager." I nodded my head in slow understanding and turned back to face the wall next to me.

"What about you? Why are you here instead of out there?" I stopped myself from turning to look at him, and instead proclaimed my lies to the wall.

"I have a leg cramp." That was actually true. I heard him laugh and shift in his chair.

"A leg cramp?" I smiled and turned to look at him.

"Yeah, a leg cramp." He nodded his head and rolled his eyes.

"Those hurt." I giggled and shifted to stare at the wall all over again. Someone tapped my shoulder. Without looking, I moaned in an aggravated voice.

"What?" I heard Johns laughed as he tapped my shoulder again.

"Stu's having a party at 'is house." I began to get angrier at the whole damn world. A freaking party? Stu needs to stop being so inconvenient. I know how stupid that thought was, but I've been alone all night. I have a right to think bitchy thoughts, don't I?

"Good for Stu." I crossed my arms and huddled more into the wall as if to avoid him.

"Stop being a child, one party won't kill you." He put his drink down and tugged at my arm so that I would face him. I turned around and kicked his leg lightly.

"I hate you."

"Lies." Then he pulled his classic Lennon smirk and held his arms open for me. I love that. I got up from my chair and lazily crawled into his jacket.

"I don't hate you." I felt him laugh, but before we could say another word, Stu came up from behind.

"Party's off, I can't find my fockin' keys." I tugged on to my hair and turned again to talk to Paul, but he had already left. I moaned and turned back to John. I could tell he was trying to plan something. I rested my head on his shoulder, without paying attention to whatever was going on between them. I could feel John turn his head.

"Is that alright with you, baby?" I looked up at him confused.

"Is what alright?"

"Mimi's not home, is it alright for you to stay over?" I turned my head back out to the crowd of people.

"Mmmhmm, that's alright." I yawned, this day started out fun, but there was a tugging thought at my head that something was going to go wrong. The kind of feeling you get before something big happens. I ignored it and turned back to John and Stu's conversation to see what was going on and what I was getting myself into.

"We'll have the party at Mimi's, what she doesn't know wont 'urt 'er." I raised an eyebrow and leaned my head back where it was. I had already agreed to spend the night, I'm sure I could sleep to the background of a small party. I shifted a little, as the club doors opened and closed and the cold wind rushed in. As if John was reading my mind, he pulled his coat off and handed it to me while still speaking to Stu about something I didn't mind to listen for.

..

We got back to Mimi's house and turned all the lights on. John and Stu had invited everyone who was at the club, but John coaxed me into coming earlier to help him hide all of Mimi's glass importances. I could hear him talking to me from the kitchen, but ever since I got sick again, my mind had been off somewhere else. I wasn't even sure what I was thinking half of the time. He poked his head out from the door and stared at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I said, you could sleep up in my room if you don't wanna be out here all night." I smiled and ran to him with my arms open.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Not really, but go on." He answered sarcastically and I kissed his cheek.

"Don't break anything. Goodnight." I smiled and walked up the stairs, not even staying behind to see who had arrived.

The noise was getting louder downstairs, and the night had gotten darker outside. I tossed under the few blankets I had layered over me, but I was struggling harder than ever to sleep. There was a far away fade of music. Peoples voices rising higher, and then getting lower as the songs changed. I swear, the smoke from all the cigarettes was seeping in from under the doors. I wanted so badly to go out there and spend my time enjoying the party. But I was stuck in this room. Not because I wanted to be, but more because I felt like I had to. A sort of responsible feeling of not wanting to do something because you know that you need what's best. I hate it.

I laid in the darkness of the room waiting for my eyes to get heavy again, but they didn't. I sat up for awhile and contemplated what was next. What was going to happen after this? These were my last two days. Funny, how it felt like after this, the world was over. John was gone, and so was life. That's how I expected it to be, didn't I? After all, who was I fooling? Not you, obviously. The truth was (and I don't know how many times I've stated those words) but, the truth was, I guess it all just seemed so easy, when I didn't have to worry about the consequences of my future mistakes. Before I could mime another thought, the door burst open and the lights came on, almost burning my eyes from being so used to the dark.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were in here, John just told me to get 'is records." I smiled at the smile that I could see tugging at Paul's lips.

"It's alright. Come, keep me company. I'm _dying _here!" I smiled with a sarcastic tone. Mistake number one. He closed the door behind him and sat himself at the edge of the bed.

"Why aren't you out there?"

"I thought you were having dinner with Jim tonight." I looked around the room trying to avoid his question.

"We like our dinner in the evening. It's nearly midnight!" we both laughed. I undid the tangle of blankets and reached for my slippers. The slippers that I usually had under John's bed, and that I now remember were under my bed at Mo's house. The idea hit me. And I nearly slapped myself for thinking it. I shouldn't be inviting Paul to sit near me, or even talk to me! It was all so stupid of me, as if I was looking for trouble. I bent back up to look at him,

"Paul, I – "Before I could speak my thoughts, he leaned closer and crushed his lips against mine. Mistake number two.

It was a familiar sensation, but at the same time it was new. It killed me. All of the memories, all of the reasons, all of the things that I had tried so hard to forget, had all came back. My methods of leaving John had fallen over my head, everything was gone now. I had forgotten it all, just for this one moment. And the worst most haunting thought of all was realizing that if I could go back in time, I would have introduced myself to Paul instead of John.

"Fuck." Mistake number three. Third time's the charm? I pulled back from Paul at the familiar voice I heard coming from the doorway. I was too ashamed to look, and I had already known who it was. My voice had gone, all the words I knew, had left my mind. I was speechless. I didn't raise my head from fear of looking into anyone's eyes, whether itd be Paul or John or Stu or anyone else who was attracted by the loud silence. At first, I was sure that they'd kill each other. No one had moved, but the tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. Then I was sure that he would kill me. I could feel his eyes burning into my neck but I refused to move from where I was. Finally, I croaked,

"John," And when I turned to the door, he had already stormed off.

Outside, the party was still going on. No one had noticed a thing. I marched through the house, nearly knocking people over and demanding to know where John was. No one knew. I walked outside. I could feel the hot tears strolling down my cheeks and contrasting with the cold wind that hit my face. I looked in every direction until I saw John's dark figure storming away in a direction I didn't know so well.

_"John! Wait, please!"_

_I chased after John, despite the fact that I knew he'd never stop for me. Something inside of me was begging and hoping that he would turn in his tracks and let me run into his arms. He didn't._

_"Please, John! It's not at all how you think it is!" I yelled after him._

_He stopped._

_"Oh, no? What is it like then, huh?" John had anger written all over his face, and in his words._

_"I find you in MY bedroom with ME BEST MATE! But it's not what I think it is? Oh no don't play that game." The last sentence was an almost inaudible whisper, compared to the first, being Yelled at the top of his lungs._

_I listened to every word he said and now even I was disgusted at myself. It was all true. John had a good-great- reason to leave me, but I love him and I couldn't dare to think of my life without John Lennon in it. I stood silent for a moment with heavy tears rolling down my cheeks._

_"I didn't mean to." I whispered, then thought of how ridiculous the response Sounded at the moment._

_John scoffed and proceeded to walk away, not angry-but hurt. All of a sudden, I couldn't resist, I ran up to John and hugged him for a moment, pretending like everything was okay. I was just as surprised by my action as he was, but I was even more surprised by the fact that he just stood there, He didn't push me away or get angry. He just stood there, as if he knew how bad this was wounding me and him. As if he had surrendered, but not to me. Before he decided to walk away, He whispered a simple_

_"I just need time to think...alone."_

_And then he was gone._

_It was late out already and I couldn't go back to anywhere. Strawberry fields closed at 10pm, it was too late. I walked over to an empty bench and sobbed silently when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Paul staring back at me. His big eyes were filled with sorrow and I could tell that he struggled for the right words to say._

_"Paul, I don't-" I started to break the silence when Paul interrupted me._

_"I am so sorry Alice. I shouldn't have let myself pressure you, I shouldn't have let myself Get too close, I've ruined everything. And I'm in love with you."_

_His last words came out as a slight whisper._

_Then there was silence. A silence so unbearable and unrealistic. As if everything that had just happened, was just a dream. Like I was watching it happen to myself, but I wasn't even there. Whatever was wrong – whatever was right is completely out of my reach now._

"_I'm pregnant."_

**A/N:I know. You probably hate me now. But could you do me a favor, and review? Thanks. Im sorry, but ive honestly been losing my relationship with my characters. (I hardly even know Alice anymore!) Im not sure if it makes sense to you, but that's basically the reason why things my seem a little crappy. Not for long though! (hopefully!) cause I got tons of inspiration for the future (I know I know, I say that all the time!) but I mean it. Review please, I love y'all!**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: y'all are awesome. Everything that's in the chapter is basically stuff that was already coming. It's the next few chappies that you should really look out for ;) . . . . I think. Haha.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own The Beatles or anything else you may recognize.**

**Alice P.O.V**

The silence was deafening. I turned away and prepared to walk off.

"Alice, wait."

"What, Paul?" my words came out harsher than I intended. I looked over to him, but quickly moved my eyes away as soon as they made contact with his.

"Its mine isn't it?" His voice trailed off, and he put his head down as if he already knew. I guess I had never really thought of it though. I had never even considered the fact that it could have been Paul's. I turned around and began to walk off again.

"I've got a right to know, Allie!" I turned around and scoffed,

"It's not yours, Paul." The tears that had nearly stopped just a moment ago began running down my face all over again. I didn't know whether it would be Paul's baby or not, all that I knew is that it wouldn't matter anyway. It's not like I would ever see them again after this. I reached John's front steps. I knew he wasn't here, because he had run off in the other direction. I hesitated a moment, just from the fear in the back of my mind that maybe somehow he had ended up here anyway. I took a risk and ran up the stairs. Once I entered the house, John was nowhere in sight. The party was still going on, as if nobody at all had even noticed what was going on between us. I quickly closed my eyes, and hid the tears. I shoved past everyone and almost began making my way upstairs. I was so close, but something pulled me back by my arms and I nearly jumped from a damn heart attack.

"Alice, are you okay?" I put on a smile as soon as I seen the young innocent face of George staring down at me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just heading out." I tried to look past him, in hope that maybe he wouldn't have seen my crying so much.

"What's wrong, where's John?" He looked around for a split second, and then back at me, loosening his grip. I sighed.

"I don't know where he went; I just really have to go George." I looked around quickly just to make sure that John still wasn't here, and then I looked back at George, forgetting my plan to not make eye contact, and looking into his eyes.

"Hey, come on, you can tell me." For a younger one, he must have already been the sweetest of all. He was so comforting, but I couldn't help be a little embarrassed at the fact that I was crying, and he was holding me in front for everyone to see. I looked back down as I could see a few of the eyes of others cast on me. He loosened his grip a little more and bent his head a little.

"Is it the baby?" I felt the air nearly knocked out of me.

"How do you know about that?" He sighed a little.

"Shhh, John told me, but it's alright, I didn't tell any of the other guys." I took a deep breath and gave him a hug. He smiled, and I smiled back. Lord knows how this child wasn't corrupted by the works of John yet. His smile was fresh, and so alive, without a hint of a mischievous grin. I smiled back and nodded my head at him, now that he may have understood. I quickly kissed him on the cheek and turned around to hurry and get my stuff.

I walked out of the house, and avoided looking back at it because it would only make things harder. I didn't know my way around here at all, but I hoped that I could at least make it over to Maureen's and bare only a small lecture from her parents. I walked in a familiar direction and ended up finding my way much easier than I thought I would. The lights in the house were still on, so I was scared to death of walking in and facing them. I went up to the door and opened it as quietly as I could. There was nobody in sight, so I made my way upstairs like normal. All of the bedrooms were closed except for Mo's. I walked over to mine and placed my stuff on the floor.

"Allie?" I turned around,

"Hey," I sustained the word and tilted my head up at her with a small smile.

"What happened?" I walked a little more into my room and waved for her to come in. She closed the door behind her and sat at the edge of the bed.

"Are your parents mad at me?"

"You? No. they hardly noticed, they were too busy cursing me out."

"Oh, what did you do?"

"I invited Ritchie over, and we told them about Germany." I laughed a little, trying to ease my mind.

"And what did they say about it?"

"First they said no. then they agreed eventually." I smiled,

"When"

"Next month. Seriously, what happened?" She answered, taking a deeper look at me. I sighed.

"He found out, Mo."

"John? About…" She trailed off.

"Yeah." She sighed and I could see her skin get a little paler.

"How, Alice? Everything was going so good."

"I don't really want to talk about it." Maureen nodded her head in a little more understanding, and then she said,

"What about the baby?"

"What _about_ the baby?"

"You're just going to leave everything how it is, and never talk to him again?

"Well I have to now."

…..

I slowly opened my eyes. The sunlight made my headache worse than it already was. I tried hard not to overrun last night's events in my head. There are days where you just break. And lately, I had been having tons. My whole body ached. This time, it was serious. I would probably never see John again after he leaves. I miss everything. I want to go home. Not home, where Eleanor and Ellie were, but I wanted to go back to London. Back where I actually knew all the directions, and where John's band didn't exist. Where I could just start everything all over again, but I couldn't. Not even If I tried, I just wouldn't be able to go back to London. It was the end of the weekend. No one was home, as usual. I got up from the bed and shivered from the cold. The first thing I wanted to do was take a hot shower.

After I got out, I changed into a plain dress and didn't even bother to slip on my shoes until I actually had to go somewhere. Later today was my doctor's appointment, so I figured I'd probably just sleep until then. My eyes were still puffy and my breathing was still a little contorted. I looked around for something to keep my mind off of everything that was going on, because I couldn't go to sleep anymore. It was useless. There was no way to stop thinking of what had happened. If anything, I just wondered what was going on in his mind right now; he probably hated me for all I was. I ran my hands up and down my arms in a comforting way. Things were all tainted, and it was over for good now. There was no point in lying, because we would never speak. I took the ring that he had given me off of my finger. I un did the necklace and placed them both in a small box above the dresser. The door bell rang, so I lazily made my way downstairs to open it. He was definitely unexpected. My breathing became harder to bare and I felt my chest tightening as he began to knock. I opened the door, pretending like I didn't know it was him, but before I could say anything, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out. I closed my eyes and followed along, after all whatever he was going to do or tell me was probably well deserved. I didn't know whether he would hit me or not, but the strength in his hand was tough and miserable to bare. He pulled me to the side of the house and lightly pushed me back into the wall. I looked down from fear of what I might see coming from his face. He hesitated for a moment and held his arm up in frustration, then knocked it back down to his side. Without looking, I could already tell what might have been running through his mind. He threw his head back, and paced heel to toe for a short distance.

"Why? Why'd you have to go and ruin it?" I looked up almost astonished by the hurt in his voice. I sniffed back my tears and nodded,

"I didn't mean to, it's not what I wanted." I looked up at him with pleading eyes, but he had his back towards me. He stopped pacing and stared at the ground for a moment.

"Who did it, Anna? Who made the first move?" I thought of how easily I could get out of this mess by telling the truth. It started with Paul. Then I thought of the band. John and Paul were best friends, and with a simple word, I could ruin it all. So I lied.

"I did." Without turning to look back at me, he threw his head back and creased his eyebrows. I drew back into the wall, and I could feel the hot tears running down my cheeks, but I didn't take my eyes off of him.

"I should have known, after all that's what always happens, right?" He turned around and began yelling.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, you did it with Jake for me, and now to me for Paul, 'sthats 'ow it is?" I couldn't even believe what I was hearing. He knew about Jake, he knew very well what had happened between us. We promised we'd never bring it up.

"So what? I'm right aren't I?" he scoffed and walked a little closer, but I turned away in frustration.

"Stop it, John."

"Stop? Oh but there's plenty more to go!" I was annoyed by the smirk I could hear in his voice, but I just dusted it off because I knew that it's what he needed.

"Well, go on then." I answered calmly and wiped the tears from under my eyes. He angrily ran his fingers through his hair and punched the wall behind me.

"Fuck it. Just tell me what the hell we're going to do." I looked up at him, with the slightest bit of hope, but once again, his back was turned towards me, and it was like he had read my mind, because he quickly added,

"About this baby." I sighed. I knew that John knew I had my appointment today, but he didn't know what time. I figured, this was it. I was going to have to walk out of his life, it was as if all the signs pointed to this. I simply (and for the better) had to answer,

"Nothing. It's gone." He turned around with confused eyes.

"What do you mean it's gone?" His voice was rising again; I turned my head and scoffed.

"John, it's gone! I lost the baby." He sighed and nodded his head.

"So there's no reason – "

"No. There's no reason." He sighed.

"Bye, Anna." I closed my eyes and slid down the wall. It was all over, everything was gone, all because of me. It was an unconscious awakening to the realization that I am just like all the others.

**A/N: So yeah, I had this little scene in my head, for like… ever! I'm not sure if it's in the same words that I had imagined it in, but hey I tried. Oh and I'm sorry, but I just could not help but laugh at how cheesy this entire chapter sounded. I think it was almost (almost) as cheesy as chapter two. If anyone even remembers that awkward chappie ;) Well, once again, thank you all so so much! Looking over the reviews, I realize that nearly all of you have been here since chapter one! Talk about dedication and I just want y'all to know, that I'm super dedicated to all of you too oh gosh, there's the cheesiness again. Questions, comments, concerns, criticism, compliments ;) I didn't read it over, so what you read is a result of… im not sure actually. haa**

**Peace&Love P.S. don't forget to read mine and Beths awesome collab 'Things we said today.'**

**Thanks **


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: okay if you hate me. I understand. Its been months since ive updated! I wonder if anyone still even remembers this story. Don't forget, dear readers! I love you all. Feel free to drop me a review. Remind me that youre still here! Blablabla, on with the story…**

**Alice**

I grabbed the ring from my dresser and put it in my pocket. I had been up all night contemplating this morning and what I would do. I walked out the door and began walking in the direction I hoped was right. After a short while, I began to see their silhouettes. Their faces were becoming clearer, but I didn't know what to do from here. I stopped and stood behind a pack of people who were waiting for their ships to arrive. I hoped that one of them would see me. Not John or Paul, but one of the others. I hoped that if someone saw me, they wouldn't tell. The first to glance over was Pete. He stared directly at me. I held my finger up to my lips and waved for him to come over. He drifted away from the boys and walked towards me, slipping through the crowd of people and glancing back to make sure no one noticed he was gone.

"I have to leave soon. What happened? I don't think you should be here.." His words were cold, but honest. He glanced back one more time.

"I know, I just need a favor" He looked past me then shrugged his shoulders.

"What do you need?"

I pulled out the ring from my pocket and held it tight before giving it to him.

"I need you to give this back to John-"

"No no no, I cant do that. Im sorry. He's all messed up. This is only going to make things worse. Here" He tried to give the ring back, but I backed away from him.

"You don't have to do it now, just please take it. I cant keep it anymore." He sighed and put it into his coat pocket. I could feel my cheeks burning up and my eyes beginning to swell. I turned my head to the side before I could start crying.

"Thank you." Right then, the boys started to yell for him. I looked over there and saw John leaning on the dock. I could feel the tears starting down my cheeks. I stared at the ground,

"Good luck in Hamburg." He cleared his throat

"Thanks, we'll be needing it." He looked back again and without a word, started walking back toward them. My body began to ache

I knew that was the last I'd ever see of them.

**A/N: That's obviously not going to be the last, Alice. Okay. I get it. You officially hate me. I don't update in months, and then I give you this. IM SORRY. I know. You don't care how sorry I am. I just felt that I had to put this in so that I could officially end Alice and John. But don't worry. You don't honestly think that theyre over, right? Ha. Next chapter will make more sense. This was a really crappy chapter, but please review anyways. I promise that dear Johnny will be somewhere in the next chapter. I just needed this short baby as a filler to cut the chord on them. I don't even care how bad it is because the detail isn't really going to count for the future. Just the point. Tell me what you think is going to happen next! If I get 5 more reviews, I'll try everything in my power to update next weekend!**

**I love you, I love you.**


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